Redemption
by CricketsInTune
Summary: Draco Malfoy is given a second chance at life for a single act, and Hermione Granger is forever indebted to him for it. But she's hiding something. Can he resist his father and join the side of good? Or will the dark be too tempting to ignore?
1. Debts Repaid

**Author's Note: I don't own Harry Potter, although I wished I owned Draco ;)  
Hello again! So I'm starting this story and only really know how it'll end...mostly. Hopefully it'll grow into something good. This is the beginning of something epic I hope, read and enjoy! Let me know what you think...I'm not a huge fan of how I started this off. **

_"You let me violate you, you let me desecrate you. You let me penetrate you, you let me complicate you. Help me, I broke apart my insides, help me I've got no soul to sell. Help me, the only thing that works for me, help me get away from myself. I want to fuck you like an animal, I want to feel you from the inside. I want to fuck you like an animal. My whole existence is flawed. You get me closer to god. You can have my isolation, you can have the hate that it brings. You can have my absence of faith, you can have my everything. Help me, tear down my reason, help me it's your sex I can smell. Help me, you make me perfect, help me become somebody else. Through every forest, above the trees, within my stomach, scraped off my knees. I drink the honey inside your hive. You are the reason I stay alive." -Closer_

_Don't touch me….No….rough hands. I'm frozen. Trapped. How did I get here? _

_Wet running down my cheeks….is this real? Where are you to save me? Harry? Ron?_

_I love you…come find me. Take this away._

_No….please don't touch me….get away from me! Worthless…frozen. _

_Can't fight. Can't scream. Can't disappear. _

_I want to disappear._

_I want this to end. _

_Will this ever stop?_

_Don't touch me…No…please…don't touch me…_

_*******_

Hermione Granger wanted to leave. Vanish. Blink her eyes and have the scene before her disappear altogether. This couldn't be happening, it really hadn't come to this…..but it had. Only minutes ago she had ran with Ron Weasley and Harry Potter back from the Shrieking Shack after collecting the final memories of Severus Snape. Had everything really happened on this night? In a blink of an eye she recalled everything. Arriving through the passage in Hogsmeade, battling their way through Hogwarts, searching for the lost Diadem, the fire in the Room of Requirement, going into the Chamber of Secrets to retrieve basilisk fangs, kissing Ron… All this had happened and yet it seemed so far away. These last few months had seemed like a dream. And suddenly now the future was here, staring them in the eye, about to be decided.

And for the first time this night Hermione was able to slow down and look at everything. And she suddenly felt like crying. She stood as still as she could, trying best to gain control as she gazed around at the Great Hall at the brave few who had fought so bravely to resist the dark forces trying so eagerly to put them down. Enemies and friends. Young and old. Even the injured stood with pride as if understanding that now, after everything, they were all in this together, to the end. And she hoped the end would work in their favor. Yet as her eyes fell upon the fallen bodies of comrades against the marble floor she felt resentment for all of this. She had known there would be losses, but living the reality was harder than she ever thought possible. Blinking back tears she told herself that the time for tears was later, now it was the time for war and courage. Yet looking over at Mrs. Weasley crying in the arms of Mr. Weasley over Fred's dead body made her look away. She wanted to comfort Ron but she knew she didn't have the strength of mind to help him at all.

And now they were running out of time. Voldemort had already declared he'd wait an hour in the Forbidden Forest for Harry to show himself before he unleashed everything he had on Hogwarts. Worst of all was she and the boys had yet to devise a plan. Still it seemed everyone's mind was elsewhere. Hermione clasped her shaking hands before her and took a deep breath to remain composed. She needed to find Harry and figure something out. Time was running out and she hoped Snape's memories may help them in some way. They had to have some significance….She looked around quickly but saw no sign of Harry, only everyone gathered together trying to come up with their own battle strategy. It was then it clicked in her head… he would want to go somewhere safe and view Snape's memories. And the only place with a Pensieve was Dumbledore's office. Hermione glanced quickly back at Ron and his family, thinking about telling him where she was going but she didn't want to get in the middle of their grieving. He was already intertwined between his brothers. She could sneak away, the Death Eaters had already left the castle anyway. All she would do was find Harry and sort everything out, come out with some kind of plan, and hopefully they'd be able to win this war.

Hermione drew her wand instinctively as she made her way through the crumbling school, past fallen enemies, as she made her way up to Dumbledore's office. She tried her best to keep her mind blank as she did this, no one was here to distract her anymore. She feared that if she gave herself time to think she would end up bawling her eyes out or breaking down completely. Instead she ran, hoping that could stabilize her as she suddenly found herself in front of the golden gargoyle that guarded Dumbledore's office. She took a deep breath and realized quickly she didn't know the password. She bit her lip in thought as she began to call out, hoping Harry would hear her, "Harry! Harry!" She frowned and knew that alone was useless, "Please…I need to get up there." As she said this the gargoyle gave a small shudder and she thought it was about to move but then it stood still. It was then she knew she wouldn't be getting up there anytime soon. Hermione sighed as she turned her back to the guarded door and slid against the wall until she found herself sitting on the ground, eyes closed. She'd just wait here for Harry….he'd come out eventually. But how long would that take? They had no time…She took a deep breath and tried her best to remain calm as she looked up and saw someone clad in black disappear into the girls bathroom. Her eyes widened slightly…_a Death Eater_…_but why are they still in the castle? _She thought to herself as she slowly stood up. She had to do something, she couldn't just let a Death Eater roam around the castle.

Wand raised she walked forward slowly, somewhat unnerved to have seen a Death Eater here and not with Voldemort in the forest. Should she even go after them? Could she take on one her own? If anything she hoped to at least stun and bind them to bring them to the Great Hall. And worst case scenario she would run and lead them to the Great Hall where they would be no match for everyone then. Or….she could get killed. No. That wasn't an option anymore. Harry and Ron were counting on her. She would stop this Death Eater from doing whatever it is they were up to and everything would work out. It had to. Hermione silently tip toed towards the bathroom and peered in. Clearly some battle had been done in there. She saw the mirrors across from her on the sinks and looked in for any sign of a person hiding in the bathroom. Nothing. Hermione took a deep breath as she slowly stepped in, pressing her back against the wall as she peered around the sinks and saw nothing. The only place left was the actual stalls. Thinking quickly she moved out slightly and fired a curse at the wall at the end of the row of stalls to try and draw the Death Eaters fire but there was nothing. She even waited a few moments and checked for any signs of feet and saw none. Someone could still be there…waiting. With another bout of courage she moved from the wall and was prepared to try a different charm when a voice hissed behind her.

"Immobilius!" Hermione heard the cold voice and chills ran up her spine as she realized who it was. She tried to control her breathing as she became frozen in midair, suddenly terrified and angry at herself for making such a stupid mistake. This was it now. She couldn't even scream. No one would find her….Her eyes widened, one of the only working muscles within in her as Lucius Malfoy moved slowly around to stand in front of her, his icy gaze meeting hers straight on, "Silly little Mudblood lost her way…and I thought you were much too smart to fall into a trap." Inside she was screaming at herself, she had been so foolish to go after him. Those eyes had her trapped, and the small, slightly revolted smirk on his face made her sick. Was this her fate then? To die by his hand?

"You came into my home and caused an uproar…for years you have worked alongside Harry Potter and that pathetic excuse for a wizard Weasley, making my sons life hell. You have gone against the natural order….and have survived so many times. Countless times you have helped foil the Dark Lords plans, and yet you have remained alive this entire time…do you know why?" Lucius Malfoy spoke in a low voice, his eyes never leaving hers as he brought his wand up and pointed it at her throat, "Luck. Sheer luck that you escaped. And what joy it would give me to watch the light fade from your dirty Mudblood eyes. Disgusting eyes…." Hermione felt tears well up in her eyes but didn't want them to fall, she didn't want to give him the satisfaction. He moved in closer and examined her.

"Where is your savior now? Soon he'll be dead, just like his parents, just like you…" He hissed softly and Hermione knew then her fate. She was going to die. Silently in her head she began to say goodbye to everyone in her head, wanting to close her eyes and forget the man before her. Push him back. Her thoughts briefly went to Draco Malfoy, the one whom she had helped saved only an hour or so before. She felt sick, "But I don't plan on killing you Mudblood. At least not the way you expect me to….you see I have come to realize that heroes die nobly. And you….you who has helped ruin so many of our noble deeds deserves to have that same ruin…I have been waiting to return to you the favor you so generously extended to me. I could never give you such satisfaction in death." Hermione's eyes widened at his words, terror beginning to flow through her. Maybe she should want to die, maybe whatever he had planned was worse. Could he truly hate her that much? She always knew she had helped Harry….but apparently that help hadn't gone unnoticed.

"I want to show you how dirty your blood truly is," He spoke angrily as he moved closer and ripped her wand from her hand, casting it aside. He waved his wand and she fell hard onto her back against the ground. She wanted to scream, to escape, but that was impossible. He had complete control now. He cast the spell once more to ensure her limbs were paralyzed. Her eyes widened suddenly as he knelt down beside her, casting his black cloak aside, and it was then she realized what was happening, what he wanted to do. Hermione tried screaming again but it died against her frozen lips as now tears spilled over. This wasn't happening, this couldn't be happening, "You will learn your lesson Mudblood." And with that Lucius Malfoy was over her like a shadow, dominating and terrifying. Hermione squeezed her eyes shut as she tried to will her limbs to move but they wouldn't. She felt him grasp at her legs and force them open further….felt him against her, his hot breath against her neck. This was certainly worse than death. The tears on her cheeks moistened her wild hair as his angry hands grasped at her, bruising her. _GET AWAY FROM ME! _She cried out within her own head but it was nothingness in her mouth. Over and over again she pleaded, cursed but there came nothing. She couldn't affect him, not in the least, but everything he did she felt on her flesh. He tore at her shirt and grasped her hard, tears blinding her vision that she wished she didn't have. Where was Harry? Where was Ron? She wanted nothing more for them to come and save her, even if it meant them seeing this.

She thought maybe he'd simply go away, or torture her. But no…he would destroy her first. She knew now he wanted to kill her soul, extinguish all hope and light within her. And she felt him rip into her, tear away her innocence and she was lost. That one moment she had hoped she would give to the man she loved was taken away from her. Hermione felt the spell begin to wear off, her limbs loosen, but she was still paralyzed, now drawn up and disappeared inside of herself. She could scream but her voice was gone. Emptiness set in. He pushed as hard as he could and forced away all shreds of light left inside of her. He had taken her. And left instead something small and hollow, soon to grow and course within her, and burning pain. Such pain…he was not gentle. He wanted her to hurt, to bleed. The curse vanished and she lay lifeless under him as he finished, her eyes wide and vacant now as she stared off to the side, in another place, another world. Hermione Granger was gone.

"I trust you will not be interfering again…" He said darkly as he pulled his pants up and stood up, looking down at her as he grabbed his cloak. Slowly Hermione closed her aching legs, wanting to be hidden from him but she knew that was pointless now. Her eyes simply stared up at him, begging for some sort of pain he could inflict, or wound he could cause. Any distraction from this. Even death…And now she did truly feel dirty, worthless, "I told you I wouldn't kill you. I'll let you kill yourself." With that Lucius Malfoy smirked evilly down at her before turning his back to her to leave. He stopped suddenly and turned back around, gazing down at her with dark eyes before bringing his foot back and colliding it hard with her ribs. Now Hermione's silence evaporated as she let out an ear piercing scream, her bones fracturing with the blow. Lucius Malfoy looked down at her one last time, pain etched on her face, and he smiled contently before leaving her alone on the bathroom floor.

Hermione's eyes locked to the ceiling as she listened to his footsteps fade away. The numbness that had entered her mind suddenly vanished as everything came crashing down hard around her. It was suddenly hard to breathe as she sucked in air deep into her lungs, finally unable to control herself. She burst into racking sobs that echoed off the walls, resounding around her, reminding her of her pain. She didn't care that she was exposed, she simply cried, the pain in her ribs and between her legs impossibly vivid. This night had already been hell, but now it had gone beyond. She had lost herself. Her soul had been taken away. And there she lay, empty, sobbing, alone, no one there to save her from herself.

*******

Draco Malfoy wanted to hide. Even better he wished he didn't exist anymore. He didn't want this, he had never wanted this. He gripped his wand tightly with a shaking hand as he walked through the castle, knowing he had to go outside and meet all the other Death Eaters and Voldemort in the Forest. But he also knew he didn't want to do this. He wanted it all to end. Goyle had left him at some point, angered, upset, Draco couldn't blame him. Barely an hour ago they had watched their best friend get burned to death in the Room of Requirement as they were flown to safety by Potter, Weasley, and Granger. Draco cursed under his breath at the thought. He may hate them but part of him hoped they would win, even though he truly believed it impossible. This war would end it all, either way. He'd either end up in Azkaban or Voldemort's slave…and he didn't want either. He wanted to run. He didn't want to see the faces of the dead when he closed his eyes. He breathed heavily as his footsteps quicken, trying to block everything from his mind and remembered the duty he was bound to do, the duty that made the Mark on his arm burn. As he thought of these things he frowned, a frown that deepened when he heard an ear shattering scream come from the floor above.

Normally he would have thought nothing of this. It was a war after all…suffering was everywhere, he had grown accustomed to it over the last few months. But this scream chilled him to the bone, it was pure pain. And the last thing he wanted to do was go into the Forest with the rest of the Death Eaters. So instead he hopped on a different moving staircase and heading for the direction he heard the scream, desperate for anything to stall where he was being forced to go. He reached the floor and gazed down at Dumbledore's office door with sadness. Another mistake to bring him back to reality. He forced the look of sadness from his face and regained composure as he walked quickly down the hallway, looking for any sign of some sort of battle, hoping it would buy him some time. His paced slowed as he reached the girls bathroom, the door ajar, and the sound of sobbing coming from inside. Draco froze…should he go in? He gripped his wand and inhaled as he quickly rounded the corner into the bathroom and spotted someone curled up on the ground and pointed his wand at her back.

"Stupe…." He began to say but froze suddenly. Hermione Granger turned and faced him, still sobbing as she tried to curl up and hide herself from his view. She grasped at her ripped open shirt and tried to pull up her pants that had been forced down. Draco looked at her in somewhat shock as she struggled to back away from him, wincing in pain as she did, "Granger?" He said softly as he tried to look into her eyes and not the rest of her exposed body. He took a step forward but she simply moved back. He realized then she had no wand and so he lowered his.

"Go away…" She whispered in a barely audible low voice through the tears she tried so hard to stop from falling. Her shaking hands moved to properly pull her pants back on but when she tried to button her shirt she gasped with the white hot pain that shot through her ribs, "Please…. I can't fight you…" She whispered again and looked away from him, still shaking. Even though he knew he hated Granger, something about seeing her so helpless made him feel slightly…bad. He didn't want to. She was his enemy. And he knew for a fact she would attack him right now if she could. But he supposed he owed her, if anything.

"I'm not going to fight you Mudblood," He muttered as he went closer to her and knelt down. Her eyes widened in fear, he reminded her so much of the man who had just done this to her. Those eyes….they were his eyes. He reached out a hand hesitantly to touch her ribs, he knew they may be broken but as he did she let out a scream.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" Another flow of tears came with these words and suddenly he understood everything, all the pieces fit. His eyes widened slightly but he tried not to show anything, the last thing he needed was her thinking he actually cared about what had happened to her….yet part of him did. Someone had taken this all too far.

"Merlin…who did this?" He asked softly as he looked into her eyes. Hermione stopped crying, the question itself surprising her. Could she tell him? Could she let him know that it was his father? As much as she hated Malfoy…she couldn't do that to him. The look in his eyes betrayed what he was trying to hard to convey.

"I…I didn't see him…they covered my eyes…" She lied quickly and wiped at her eyes to clear her vision and he nodded slightly, unsure of what to do. She looked back into his eyes as he raised his wand and she pushed closer to the wall and he sighed.

"For Merlin's sake Granger I'm not going to hurt you!" He said somewhat angrily and she nodded slightly, "Episkey," He said as he pointed his wand at her ribs, the bones quickly wrenching back in place and she let out a yell and grabbed his wrist for the pain. Both their eyes widened slightly at this reaction and she recoiled her hand quickly, "Accio Wand," He said as her wand flew into his opposite hand and he handed it to her. He waved his wand one last time and her clothes fixed themselves, her hair going back to it's normal place, even some of her pain vanished. He stood up and offered his hand to her, "Come on Granger, you have to get up. I won't hurt you…I promise." She raised her hand and placed it in his, the hand of the son of her rapist. She took a deep breath as he pulled her gently to her feet. She had only taken his hand because something in her knew he wasn't like his father. His eyes didn't hold the malice Lucius Malfoy's did, they held the complete opposite.

"Why are you helping me? You hate me…" She said softly as she looked up into his eyes. And for a moment the world was quiet. There was no war, no pain, no death. Just Draco and Hermione, standing a foot apart, still. He listened to her words and knew of all the torture she had endured and he felt the pain with her. His hand reached out very slowly and lifted her chin, his touch soft and careful.

"I may hate you, but I could never hate you enough to stomach that." He said back in a dark, low voice as their gazes held for a few more seconds before he stepped away from her and turned away. Suddenly the feelings of emptiness and sadness began to flood back as she watched him go. No matter who he was, she didn't want him to leave, she needed someone to keep her sane. But she knew he couldn't stay.

"Malfoy!" She called his name and he turned back slightly to look at her. She thought of a million things to say to him but only one seemed fitting enough for this very moment, on the brink of destiny, "Stay safe…" Was all she could manage as tears filled her eyes and he nodded, silently returning the words before he turned and walked out of the bathroom, leaving her alone. His eyes closed at the thought and he words as he walked down to join the others in the forest. Hermione's hand touched the spot on her chin that his fingers had brushed and she fought back more tears as she decided to return to the Great Hall where she could be around people and maybe forget some of the horror in which she just was subjected.

******

And in the end, good had triumphed over evil. Hermione felt as if the events of that night had happened years ago, decades…everything had changed. Hogwarts was being rebuilt, Death Eaters were being put on trial, funerals were being attended. All of this happened within the course of a week, so much to take in so little time. Yet every time Hermione closed her eyes she thought of what had happened with Lucius and it made her sick. She couldn't sleep…she could barely eat…he truly had made her wish she was dead. Yet she had found the time to bring her parents back home and restore their memories, she needed to see them. But she was silent about what had happened. When Ron asked where she had went that night she told him she just needed some space and he didn't question that. He and Harry had noticed her change in her attitude but they too were feeling after effects….the war had drained them all. Yet the three friends gathered together at the Burrow for the short month before they would all return to Hogwarts to finish their education the right way. Hermione acted empty for the first few days she was there but one thing caught her attention in the Daily Prophet: Draco Malfoy was going on trial the next day for being a Death Eater.

******

Draco Malfoy clasped his hands together to keep them from shaking, he couldn't show weakness, he couldn't be afraid. But he was. Two Azkaban guards kept hold of his arms as they led him down into the bowels of the Ministry of Magic towards Courtroom Ten. Draco knew this place, he had been there before when his father was tried and put into Azkaban. Now it was his turn. And he knew he would lose. He never resisted, he never dared tried, and in doing so he was just as bad as the rest of the Death Eaters. He may not have been a murderer, but he was damn close. And he kept his face a mask as they entered the courtroom, all the seats filled to watch him reach his fate. The Wizengamot all sat dressed in purple as they watched him. The guards led him up to a stand where magical chains came up and locked his hands and feet to where he stood.

Hermione Granger leaned forward in her seat as Draco entered. He looked worn…there were dark circles under his eyes and a small sneer on his lips. She cursed under her breath. Why was he making this so difficult? If only he showed how much he didn't want this then maybe she wouldn't have to intervene. Either way his nonchalance wasn't going to help him. And if he couldn't save himself, she would at least try. When the back of her head questioned why she wanted to help Draco Malfoy so much she stifled the question. Yes he had helped her…but she wanted to fight for his innocence. She knew that somewhere, deep inside of him, was something good, if anything, and he had let her glimpse into that truth. She wouldn't let him die in Azkaban for hiding it either.

"Draco Malfoy, are you aware of the charges against you?" The new chief Wizengamot wizard asked as he leaned forward as he looked into Draco's eyes. The boy simply nodded and the wizard continued, "Alliance to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, use of the Cruciatus Curse, attack on Hogwarts castle and its students, attempted murder, and accompanying your fellow Death Eaters. Is this correct?"

"Yes…" Draco said in a low voice, his eyes at the ground. The Wizengamot whispered to one another as the chief wizard raised an eyebrow at this. Hermione's eyes closed, this wasn't going to be good. Draco didn't care about his fate now. True, he didn't want to be jailed…but what else did he have left? His mother was dead….and that alone killed him. His father had been automatically taken to Azkaban. His life was over anyway, finished at eighteen.

"Do you feel no remorse for your crimes?" The wizard asked but Draco was silent, he didn't plan on fighting, "Are you still loyal to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?" Another question that was followed by silence. Draco looked up into the man's eyes however, trying to convey his thoughts without words: _I was never loyal to a monster like him_,"Is there anyone in this courtroom willing to speak on this Death Eaters behalf?" As if waiting for these exact words Hermione jumped up and all eyes were on her, surprised. Everyone had known the part she played in Voldemort's downfall. The most piercing gaze was a set of gray eyes which she avoided at all costs. The chief wizard looked slightly surprised and motioned her to come down and take the stand.

"Draco Malfoy doesn't deserve to be sent to Azkaban," As Hermione said these words a flurry of whispers broke out in the courtroom, the Wizengamot even began to speak with one another, and still she avoided the gray gaze piercing into her, "He may have been an accomplice in many of these crimes, but Draco Malfoy is not a true Death Eater. He was merely a victim of circumstance."

"Continue with your rebuttal Ms. Granger…" The chief Wizengamot said and everyone fell silent as they waited for her response. Draco looked at her in disbelief. Who the bloody hell did she think she was? She didn't know him….and she had no right confessing everything she thought he was to a room full of people….but most of all he was scared she understood the truth of it all.

"He was raised to believe Voldemort was right in all his ways, in a place where an child would believe what their parents told them. Yes he did try to kill Albus Dumbledore, but he couldn't go through with it. He feared for his own life and the life of his family. The only crime Draco Malfoy is guilty of is cowardice." That alone caused more whispers but Hermione continued, saying how he had helped her, telling about visions Harry had seen, she did everything to try and get Draco off. It seemed as if she had spoken forever when the chief Wizengamot finally raised his hand for silence.

"You do understand Ms. Granger that if we let Mr. Malfoy off and he murders or performs any act of violence it will be on your hands? Can you accept that?" He asked darkly as he gazed deep into her eyes and she met that strong-set gaze.

"Yes, I am fully aware."

"Then by verdict of the Wizengamot, Draco Malfoy is relieved from being sent to Azkaban and allowed admittance back into Hogwarts to end his education. Ms. Granger shall watch over him and report back to the Ministry as to any abnormal activities," He said this all in an official voice but it changed when he looked back at her, "Do not make me regret my decision Ms. Granger…" When he said this, Hermione nodded, looking sincerely into the wizard's eyes, "Court dismissed." And with that everyone began to stand and move out of the room. Hermione's heart was racing wildly as she tried to fight her way through the crowd and leave before Draco was freed and had a chance to catch her. She still couldn't believe they let him off, thank Merlin she had stepped in…she didn't want him being sent away, not even he deserved that. Although reporting back to the Ministry was hardly her goal for this whole situation…she still had done what she had come to do. And finally as she made her way through the doors she breathed a sigh of relief as she began to walk down the corridor. Her eyes widened as a hand tightly grasped her wrist, spinning her around to face its owner.

"And what in Merlin's name do you think you were doing Granger? Pulling a stunt like that?" Draco Malfoy hissed these words through gritted teeth, his eyes furious as his hand still grasped her wrist tightly. Hermione's eyes widened in surprise, but she wasn't afraid.

"I owed you didn't I?" She pulled her hand away from his grasp, and his eyes softened slightly when he saw slight bruising on her neck, reminding him of what had happened the night of the battle, "Thank you…" She whispered as their eyes met silently, he knew she was thanking him for helping her that night. And for a moment they were silent in their gazes. He wanted to respond smartly, to hurt her, but something in her sincere, truthful eyes made him think better of it. Instead he nodded at her once more, just like on that fateful night, and took off once more. Hermione rubbed her wrist and looked down at Draco's fingerprints appearing against her pale flesh and didn't know how to feel. She was now forever marked by the Malfoy men. And with this thought in mind she made her way back to the Burrow, to Harry and Ron, to the silence she had promised to keep within herself.


	2. The 8th Year

**AN: I know, it's been beyond forever since I've updated. But I've been busy with work and graduation and all that stuff. But I started rethinking this story and I remembered how much I love my overall idea. So I'm back, here's the next chapter, and I hope you all enjoy. =) Read and review please!**

__

I can hear what you're thinking, all your doubts and fears. And if you look in my eyes in time you'll find, the reason I'm here. And in time all things shall pass away. In time you may come back someday.  
To live once more. Or die once more. But in time your time will be no more. You know your days are numbered, count 'em one by one. Like notches in the handle of an outlaw's gun. You can outrun the devil if you try. But you will never outrun the hands of time. -In Time

_Ms. Hermione Granger, we are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted to attend another year of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry due to the overwhelming circumstances of the past school year. This offer has been extended to other students in order to properly finish their education and move into successful careers in the wizarding world. Also you have been selected as Head Girl of the school. You will be briefed on your duties at a later time and are required to meet with the Head Boy in compartment 1a on the Hogwarts Express on the journey to school. A list of supplies is written below…. _As Hermione read and reread the letter sent to the Burrow she could scarcely believe it. She would indefinitely be returning to Hogwarts. Yet she doubted whether or not she had it in her to return so soon. Because everything with the Final Battle and the school had become so disorganized, they had decided to start the school year early to allow students a chance to properly finish their education. Still, as Hermione thought about reentering that world, that life, it scared her.

Everyone had noticed a change in her at the Burrow. She didn't eat much of anything, she slept restlessly at night. She was fidgety…Ron would go to touch her shoulder and she would find a reason to shy away from him or something to go do. The Weasley's themselves were distracted by grief, still they were recovering. Most everyone at the Burrow believed Hermione too was saddened, or maybe in shock after everything that happened, all the death. But she remained mute about the true cause of her sorrow. That was a secret she vowed never to share and hoped that it's memory would fade swiftly from her mind. Instead she busied herself caring for Teddy Tonks who was staying at the Burrow for awhile so his grandparents could get settled to take him in. Hermione welcomed his presence as a good distraction. She needed one.

"You alright Hermione? You look sort of pale…" Harry said with brows furrowed as he, Ron, and Ginny watched her reaction to reading the letter in her hands, the same letter they all held. Hermione cleverly avoided his piercing emerald gaze and mustered a small smile.

"I'm fine, honestly…it's just a bit of a shock is all…to be going back." She looked back to her letter and folded it slowly, trying to avoid the thoughts that everyone had in their own silence.

"Well I'm glad to be going back. We won't be dealing with anymore mental people, unless McGonagall hires some nutters to teach us," Ginny said as she offered them all a grin but was greeted by three somewhat somber faces, causing her to sigh, "Honestly are all of you going to mope around about everything? You have to accept the reality of what's happened, the good and bad. Going back might help make things normal again. Harry you'll do Quidditch, Hermione you'll barricade yourself in the library. And Ron…well…I suppose you'll just stuff your face." Ginny said as she took Harry's hand who couldn't help but laugh and Ron glared at his sister. Hermione smiled but it felt forced, it felt empty. But what didn't to her nowadays?

* * *

"Hey, I've been meaning to talk to you," With these exact words, Hermione's insides froze, shut down. It was almost as if the last month she had spent avoiding them like the plague. She made sure never to be alone with Ron, or if she ever was alone she made sure it stayed that way. Yet today she had slipped. Today of all days he had followed her outside in the garden where all she had wanted to do was be able to breathe properly again. Yet her chest tightened. She knew where this was going. And he did too. That's why she felt so scared as she looked into Ron's eyes underneath the nearly full moon in the last week of their summer before retuning to Hogwarts, "Have you been trying to stay away from me? Because you've been doing a bloody good job…" He muttered the last part and all Hermione wanted was to be angry with him, but she couldn't. Because she knew he was right…she was hurting him and it wasn't fair.

"I just haven't been myself lately Ron." She replied softly, not wanting to say much of anything. She was fine with her friends ignorance towards her current state. She turned from him and kept walking through the wild yard of the Burrow before sitting on a stone bench surrounded by wild flowers. Her eyes found the moon as Ron came and sat beside her.

"None of us have. Just wish I could help you. And you could help me," He smiled slightly and looked at her but she kept her eyes locked on the sky, not wanting to see the loving look in his eyes, a look she felt as if she could never have again, "I know we're always at each others throats but I thought things were finally…I dunno…out in the open? C'mon, don't make me spell it out.." As he said this, Hermione finally looked at him and saw his ears turn red in embarrassment. Yes, she knew this was hard for him. He wasn't the most articulate person in this department.

"Ron…" She said his name softly, a sadness in it. As there eyes met she knew he still didn't understand what she wanted, maybe he never would. But till she could only blame herself. And now as his face neared hers slowly, longingly, it nearly broke her heart. It seemed an eternity of time was passing as his lips faintly finally touched hers. Her eyes closed tightly to try and force her mind away from it all, a few hot tears spilling down her cheeks as one of his large hands came up to cup her cheek. Ron kissed her softly, carefully as if testing the waters. And Hermione barely responded, she couldn't. Her mind began to race and revert back to her memories on the floor of the girl's bathroom on the night of the battle. Her chest tightened, her heart began to race. She felt unable to breathe. In her head Ron's hands and lips were gone…they now belonged to Lucius Malfoy, gripping and grabbing at her in every way but love. In every way but the truth. Hermione couldn't do this…she couldn't relive this every time she was touched. And now all the feeling she felt was fear, the sensation wasn't of care. She moved her hands to forcibly push Ron back and his hand fell defeated as his eyes looked confused into hers, almost bewildered.

"Hermione…what's wrong?" He asked, of course he asked, and yet she couldn't tell him. She couldn't pinpoint exactly her problem. Instead she wiped her eyes and tried to focus on the face before her. It was Ron. Her best friend. Her so much more than that. And still he would never understand.

"I can't do this Ron. I just can't." She choked out as she gripped her hand tightly together in her lap, trying best to compose herself. Hermione watched as every emotion flew through his eyes, all the memories of their past slipping by and making him wonder why she had chosen this, why she had betrayed his feelings. It was then the anger and hurt showed in his face and he stood up. Why did everything have to be so hard?

"Well I never stopped caring about you. Wish I knew when you stopped caring about me." He said darkly as Ron began to walk back towards the house, not wanting to fight with her for the thousandth time. Hermione tried her best to find air, to focus her mind. She loved Ron. And there was the reality. She really did love him. If anyone was fit to save her it had to be him. And yet she was still watching him walk away in silence, letting him go again and again. But despite everything, despite her want to disappear, to be left completely alone, she didn't want to lose him. And he was hurting too. They needed each other…and she couldn't be selfish. But how could they be together if she couldn't tell him what happened?

"Ron wait!" Hermione called as she got up and walked quickly towards him and he turned around to look at her, his eyes once more filled with sadness for a dozens different reasons. She wasn't sure how this would go, if maybe this was a mistake, to add this to such a new wound. But she'd try, she'd do it for him. And after surviving so much together maybe it was finally time to give this all a shot, "I'm sorry…I'm just…I can't really explain it. But I never stopped caring about you. I want to be with you. You just need to understand I'm not the same anymore." Her eyes bore into his, hoping to convey what she desperately wanted him to understand.

"None of us are I think," He smiled slightly at her and things felt minutely better, if anything, "I just thought maybe for once we'd get something about us right. I mean, nothing will ever be normal again." She was surprised by how right he sounded, how insightful. Maybe he really had changed too.

"Then maybe we should give us a chance." She smiled slightly, tentatively, knowing in the back of her head the words she said worried her more than she would like to admit to anyone, especially herself.

"That's all I really ask." Was all Ron said as their eyes met in confirmation, the point in which she knew she could no longer look back, be hesitant. They were together, finally, after years of back and forth. Yet now things had changed, and she hoped her happy ending may still be in sight. Now as they walked silently back into the house, her final year at Hogwarts entered her mind and her thoughts drifted to her new duties of being Head Girl. And with that came another thought that worried her to the bone…she knew who the Head Boy would be. She knew who she would be forced to look after, the agreement she had made. Ron and her issues were only one trouble she was soon to face. Because soon, she would be living with her rapist's son.

* * *

Draco Malfoy clenched his hands together tightly in front of him, his face empty, eyes cold. This was the one place he never wanted to be, not now. His grey eyes gazed up at the overcast sky and realized how fitting it was for this very moment. But it was never like he imagined it would be. The sleek, black marble coffin before him was what he had envisioned but not much else. He never pictured his mother would be dead, his father thrown in Azkaban, and him standing by her gravesite at eighteen years old. This wasn't real. It couldn't be real. Yet he knew it was. His sins needed atoning, his whole families did, and now he was left to clean up the mistakes of their past.

"…Laying to rest Narcissa Amortenia Black-Malfoy. Whose life has reached it's tragic end…" Draco's mind slipped in and out of the words the man was saying beside his mother's coffin. He didn't need to hear it. But he wasn't sure what he needed. Maybe someone here to support him would have helped, someone caring. Pansy, Goyle, Blaise, and Teddy had all offered to come but he didn't need their sympathy. They didn't love his mother. Everyone who did was dead. Or had grown to resent her because of his father. Everyone else got a happy ending, where was his? Maybe it threw itself off the balcony when his mother did. Maybe it too couldn't handle the burden of life after the war. The empty house, the trials, the funerals…watching as they dragged Lucius away into confinement as his eyes turned to stone. Maybe the happy ending had committed suicide too. If only he wasn't a coward….maybe he'd be buried with the one person who ever really loved him, "Would you like to say anything?" Draco instantly snapped back to reality as the wizard asked him this, his eyes sympathetic, but with fear behind them. No matter what one thing always would stain Draco's character, he would always be the son of a Death Eater.

"No. I have nothing to say." He responded coldly as he looked at the glimmering black surface where his mother lay underneath. He wouldn't talk to a body. No one was hear to listen anyway. His mother was gone. Instead he picked up the bouquet of white roses he had bought and laid them against her coffin, fit to rot in the earth with her, a last token of his love. Drops of water began to fall on the marble, on Draco's black coat, on the ground. If he couldn't let himself feel at least the sky was echoing the inner turmoil brewing within him. Without another word Draco turned from the gravesite and pulled out his wand. He didn't want to watch them bury her in the earth. As he pointed his wand to his temple a single phrase echoed with love and pain throughout his head…._Goodbye mum_.

* * *

"FUCK!" Draco screamed at the top of his lungs as he Apparated into the foyer of his house. He couldn't handle this. He couldn't take it. His mother dead. His father gone. His best friend burnt alive. His family torn apart by war. It was over but he had lost, he'd lost everything. Half of him wished he was in a cell, safe from himself and everyone else. Somewhere he could rot away and be forgotten but no, he was being forced back into Hogwarts. Back where all his demons lie. All because of Hermione fucking Granger. Mudblood, know it all, bitch. And she really thought she was doing him a favor. Draco grabbed an old vase sitting innocently as decoration in the entryway of his home and shattered it forcefully against the polished floor. It wasn't enough. He started grabbing everything he could…ripping drapes, smashing pictures, breaking antique cabinets, throwing furniture. Screaming, unable to stop screaming.

_Dear Mister Malfoy we are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted to attend another year of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry …_"NO!" He screamed over and over as the words rang through his head, ramming his knuckles into the hard wall until they bled, _This offer has been extended to other students in order to properly finish their education and move into successful careers in the wizarding world, _Draco let out another yell as he flipped over a table, _Also you have been selected as Head Boy of the school. You will be briefed on your duties at a later time and are required to meet with the Head Girl in compartment 1a on the Hogwarts Express on the journey to school. _With his breathing heavy, he finally stopped and gazed around at the carnage, thinking about everything. Knowing he'd have to face Granger and the rest of them soon. And she was in charge of making sure he didn't try to do anything Death Eater related. Like he could now, even if he wanted to. Like he wanted to destroy his life more. With one last yell he stormed upstairs and slammed his door shut, wanting to be alone. In a few short days, he'd be going back.

And now, stuck in this house full of death, the place of his mother's suicide, he felt as if he was losing his own mind, slowly but surely.

* * *

That morning when she woke up, Hermione knew it wasn't going to be a good day. It was beyond early and the sun had barely risen. Ginny was grumpy, but awake, and Mrs. Weasley was working on waking up Ron and Harry. The last few days had been strange to say the least. Hermione knew Ron had told Harry what happened, and he of course told Ginny. Now the whole Weasley house knew her and Ron were finally together. Although she could hardly say she was thrilled with the idea. It still didn't seem right, not anymore. Every time Ron went to touch her she would flinch or shy away. She didn't want physical contact and she could tell he was frustrated. But she still didn't have the courage to tell any of her friends.

"Come on you lot! The Ministry cars won't sit outside forever and we need to get going!" Mrs. Weasley's voice called upstairs and pulled Hermione out of her own thoughts and she saw Ginny shoot a deadly look towards the stairway where her mother's voice had come from.

"Way. Too. Early." Ginny muttered as she picked up her things and headed downstairs, Hermione following behind her. The earliness didn't bother her. She didn't sleep very well lately anyway, she had trouble falling asleep and when she did, she often had nightmares and slept restlessly. The girls went downstairs where Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Harry, and Ron were all waiting. The boys were already shoving down their breakfast and Mr. Weasley was reading the prophet. Ron took a moment to separate himself from his plate to smile at Hermione who went and sat beside him.

"You should really eat something Hermione." Mrs. Weasley said quickly as she waved her wand and food began to appear on her plate. Hermione sighed inwardly. She wasn't hungry, she didn't eat much lately either. Ron frowned slightly but she ignored it, it was her choice, not his. Besides, he ate enough for the both of them.

"We'd better be off Molly, don't want to miss the train. Merlin knows how you lot would get there if that happened." Mr. Weasley said as he winked at Harry and Ron who grinned at each other. Mrs. Weasley shook her head as she shooed everyone out of the kitchen and they all piled into the Ministry car and fit snuggly. Hermione glanced back at the Burrow as the car began to leave, memories flooding her head. She knew then that her and Ron would never work out like he, and maybe she, wanted. Because in that moment, she decided she wouldn't be returning to this place for a very, very long time.

* * *

That morning Draco Malfoy wanted to die. Or at least be anywhere than where he had to go today. Maybe he could just not show up…then they would find him and cause a whole new world of problems for him. Which was the last thing he needed in his life, more problems. Instead that morning he let all his house elves free. He didn't want them trapped like he was, in a house full of ghosts. Besides, part of him wanted to return to his house in near ruins. But he knew that was unlikely. Instead he had woken up, packed his things, taken one last look at the balcony in his parents room where his mother had jumped, and left his house for what he wished was forever. He didn't even bother with breakfast. He dressed in all black, he'd decided to keep with all his drab colors that he'd began to wear in his 6th year. If he wasn't going to show his mood, maybe his clothes could.

Arriving beside the Hogwarts Express was bittersweet. More than he expected. He felt as if he shouldn't be going back, he didn't deserve to. Last time he'd been to Hogwarts it was with the intent to cause pain. He'd let his friend die. He'd been a coward. The one halfway admiral thing he'd done that night was help Granger. He wanted to forget that, but it had remained in the back of his mind for the two months he'd been away. He couldn't forget seeing her like that. Maybe that had been his wakeup call.

"Draco!" Pansy shrieked as she ran up and threw her arms tightly around his neck. The slightest of smiles crossed Draco's lips as he lightly hugged her back. She pulled back to smile at him.

"Hey Pans. Did you have a good summer?" He asked politely and she hit him in the arm, moving back to cross her arms over her chest.

"You got Head Boy didn't you? And you didn't say anything. Blaise told me it had to be you….Him, Greg, and Teddy have a compartment already. But you have somewhere else to be right?" Pansy asked as she looked into his grey eyes and he nodded slightly. How he ever was attracted to her he didn't know, she was pretty, but she annoyed him more and more every time he saw her.

"Yes I made Head Boy. Tell them all I said hi." He said curtly as he turned to get on the train but her words stopped him.

"I hear Granger got Head Girl. It's a shame you'll be stuck with that all year. Is it really true she bailed you out of your trial at the Ministry?" Pansy asked quickly and Draco, now more angry than he wanted to be, looked back over his should, clenching his teeth.

"Best keep your mouth shut Pansy. It might get you in more trouble than you want." He said darkly before disappearing onto the train. He opened the Head's compartment and locked eyes with someone he didn't expect. Ron Weasley was leaving the same time Draco was coming in and almost running into him made Draco's eyes narrow. Ron scowled as Draco pushed past him and sat down across from Hermione who had already pulled out a book.

"I'll come see you later Hermione." Ron said as he leaned over and kissed Hermione's forehead, a gesture that made a saddened look cross her face which Draco studied. Clearly Weasley didn't know. Better yet was him trying to prove he could get a girl in front of Draco. Hermione's eyes told it all though, and that alone diffused some of Draco's resentment towards everything that had already happened today. He sat down across from her and crossed one leg casually over the other. He would appear to be the definition of collected, no matter what.

"Lying to the Weasel are we?"

* * *

As Hermione watched Draco Malfoy enter the compartment, her heart dropped into her stomach. Already she knew this year was going to be tough having to spend so much time around him. He knew everything she wanted no one to know. Minus that one specific detail. But even she wasn't cruel enough to tell him the truth. Lately her life had simply been built on one lie after another. As Ron kissed her forehead to leave she fought a shudder, she still didn't like him touching her, especially to try and show off in front of Malfoy. And worse yet was the way the grey eyes across from her were staring so deeply into her. And then his question ripped open all her wounds once again.

"I'm not lying. I just haven't felt the need to tell him all the details of what happened. And it's no concern of yours anyway what I choose to say or not say." She responded promptly as her eyes fell back to her book and Draco scoffed as he gazed out the window, the train already moving.

"Touchy this morning aren't we?" Draco responded darkly as he turned back to look at her, Hermione to try and concentrate on reading, "Don't tell me you believe this little thing with Weasley is going to end up good. I saw the look in your eyes when he touched you. What will you do when he tries to fuck you?" Draco raised an eyebrow, a slight dark smirk on his face and with that Hermione snapped. She pulled out her wand and pointed it directly at his throat and suddenly he froze.

"I don't know where you get off believing that it's acceptable to talk to a person like that, but it isn't. If you're so opinionated about it why didn't you just leave me on the bathroom floor that night to suffer?" As she said these words, her mask of bravery wavered slightly and he didn't dare shoot back a remark, "That's what I thought. We're even. So there's no reason for you to be so cruel to me." She said firmly as she moved back and tucked her wand away again.

"I never asked you to speak on my behalf at the Ministry…You have no idea what I want. But I sure as hell don't want to be going back here. So I guess that means you still owe me." Draco said angrily and Hermione's eyes narrowed at him dangerously.

"Well I never asked you to help me either! I told you to go away but you didn't. For once in your miserable life you did something good for someone else, can't you just accept that? Haven't I suffered enough without you shoving it all back in my face? You don't see me sitting here unearthing all the bad you've done in your past that I've witnessed. Do you?" Hermione said, angered now as well. She glared at him, eager for him to somehow get the message she was trying to convey. She wasn't emotionally ready to go to war everyday with the boy in front of her. He was silent for a moment before leaning back in his seat, his eyes still on hers.

"Whatever Granger. You can stay trapped by your past and I'll do the same. I'd rather just get through this year without you shoving all your opinions down my throat so I can go home and rot in peace." Draco said darkly as rested his hands in his lap and looked back out the window.

"Apology accepted."

"It's not a bloody apology…" He nearly growled back at her and she frowned, "I don't apologize. I meant everything I said." His tone was more monotone, bored. Her eyes went to his bloodied knuckles and her brows furrowed. Clearly he was much more torn up inside than she thought. Barrier after barrier after barrier. She saw it, it was in his eyes, but he hid it well. Maybe there was more to his story then the parts she knew.

"What happened to your hands?" Her voice was soft as she asked and she saw the slight surprise in his face at her question. He looked down at his knuckles and frowned, knowing where the wounds had come from. He had decided not to heal them himself. They were a reminder to him of everything. He turned his hands over to look at his palms instead and Hermione sighed, causing him to look at her as she pulled out her wand, "Give me your hand."

"I'm not touching you, Mudblood. I don't want to be healed." He spat at her and Hermione quickly grabbed his wrist.

"Oh shut it." She said sharply back and he stopped trying to pull his wrist back and let her turn his knuckles to face her. Hermione didn't dare look in his eyes to see whatever lie there and she didn't trust herself. She knew she would blush from embarrassment, or something of the like. Here she was, holding up Draco Malfoy's large, pale hand in hers and she couldn't even understand how they'd gotten there. Last time he had touched her it was when he had grabbed her wrist at the Ministry, bruising her. And before that he was helping her…each time a new surprise. She pointed her wand at his knuckles and uttered a healing spell and the wounds nearly disappeared. She silently let his hand drop and he lifted the other for her to take. It was then their eyes met and Hermione quickly averted her gaze, no way would she let him think she was blushing because of him. Instead she healed his other hand and looked back up, finally noticing how close this had made them, knees almost touching.

"Thanks Granger….I guess," Draco said as he looked into her honey-brown eyes. Hermione was about to let go of his hand when the train gave a slight jolt and it was then she realized how sick to her stomach she felt. And without warning, without much of anything, she leaned forward and threw up all over Draco Malfoy's black shoes, "I'm going to fucking kill you Mudblood!" He cried out as he quickly stood, the moment of slight agreement gone, his eyes now furious. Hermione moved back in her seat, unable to say anything.

* * *

Draco looked down at his shoes beyond furious. Merely seconds ago she had seemed bearable to him. He even slightly admired her for fighting back at his remarks. But this, this crossed the line. And of course timing had made this all even much worse. Because at the instant he yelled and drew his wand, Harry and Ron were on their way to stop in. As Hermione sat there, red, dumbfounded, embarrassed, her two best friends threw open the compartment door when they heard Draco yell. Once they saw him holding a wand and Hermione pressed back into her seat, both boys drew their wands and pointed it at Draco.

"You just never learn your lesson do you Malfoy?" Harry said darkly and Ron moved closer to Hermione who was pulling out her wand, her face still red, "Once a Death Eater always a Death Eater right?"

"Shut up Potter or I'll make you eat your words." Draco hissed as he pointed his wand at Harry. He just wasn't in the mood for any of this.

"Are you really looking for a fight Malfoy because we'll send you to go join your murderer father in a heartbeat." Ron said and Hermione shot him a warning glance. Draco let out a laugh.

"I'd welcome it. Anything to get you away from me. But I think you'd be much better off if I got you away from your filth family. You can go join your brother, Weasel." Draco said with a scowl and it was then Ron lost it. He went to throw himself at Draco but Hermione jumped up and pushed herself between them, pushing Ron back.

"Stop! Just stop! It's my fault! Let's go!" Ron moved back, listening to her but unwillingly and Harry lowered his wand slightly, "Just get me out of here and let it go, please." She looked pleading at Ron, already embarrassed enough and he nodded slightly, Harry back out of the compartment, still glaring at Draco.

"You're damn lucky Malfoy. But you won't be forever." Ron said as he stepped out of the compartment, Hermione pushing him and she quickly shut the door behind her before another incident could break out. Draco let out an angry growl as he looked down at his shoes and realized Hermione had cleaned up when no one was watching. His anger calmed down slightly as he saw a piece of parchment she had left behind. He picked it up and read in her perfect handwriting: _I'm sorry…._ He sat down again, unsure how to feel about everything that had happened today, and leaned his head against the glass. Maybe he could sleep before they reached Hogwarts. Maybe it would keep him out of more trouble.


	3. Young and Reckless

**AN: This chapter's a bit bigger than the rest and I'm not quite sure how I feel about it honestly. I wrote most of it here in my dorm so that'll take some getting used to. I have great ideas for this story so please read and review. As time goes on you won't be disappointed. And thank you all for reading. =D **

_Help, I have done it again. I have been here many times before. Hurt myself again today. And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame. Be my friend, hold me, wrap me up...unfold me. I am small, I'm needy. Warm me up and breathe me. Ouch, I have lost myself again. Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found, yeah I think that I might break. I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe. -Breathe Me_

It seemed as if Hermione's face would not allow itself to return to it's normal color, the red on her cheeks wouldn't fade after her incident in the train with Draco Malfoy. She felt beyond embarrassed. Not that she felt bad necessarily…he was certainly not her favorite person. But if she were to repay him for everything he'd ever done to her and her friends the last thing she would want to do was throw up all over him. And of course it was at a moment when he was acting halfway decent. Then when Harry and Ron showed up…well, they were especially good at making matters worse. Now her eyes stared out the window as a carriage rode her, Ron, Harry, and Ginny up towards the castle, Ron had already trapped her hand in his. To her it felt hot, uncomfortable.

"I still can't believe you puked on Malfoy. Really brilliant Hermione," Harry said with a slight grin as he broke the silence and Hermione simply glared at him, "I'm only joking…are you not feeling good?"

"I don't know what it is, I've never gotten sick on the train before. I think I'm just stressed out." Hermione said with a shrug, her eyes back outside as Ron rubbed his thumb on her hand, she fought the urge to pull it away. She wasn't that cruel…was she?

"Cheer up. We're almost there Hermione. You won't have to keep the library waiting much longer." Ginny said and Hermione mustered a ghost of a smile. This was the last place she wanted to be and she realized that now. And worst of all she'd be sharing quarters with Malfoy and she would rather eat a doxy then have to face him anytime soon.

As they entered the Great Hall she knew immediately how little things had changed, yet a closer look would reveal what differences where truly a result of what had happened here only months ago. As the four took their seats Hermione found herself feeling even worse. And it seemed as if pair of grey eyes was on her back and she simply stared down at her empty plate. She glanced up wearily to watch as McGonagall took her place at the phoenix podium in which Dumbledore had stood so many times before. After the sorting had finished her eyes scanned the sea of students and the smallest smiles graced her thin lips.

"I am pleased to welcome you back to Hogwarts. And I also extend my welcome to the new faces I see and the faces of those who have chosen to return after the events that took place last school year," Her smile faltered as she said this and everyone seemed to stop talking, some even to hold their breath, "Although I'm sure for some it would seem easiest to forget what happened here, but throughout my time at Hogwarts if I've learned one thing it is this: we are strongest when we face what scares us the most. To bare the weight of truth on our shoulders. Many students and wizards alike risked their lives in defending and protecting this castle against dark forces that tried hard to bring it and us down. And yet despite everything against us, good prevailed. And here we are," The smile once more formed on her lips and her eyes lingered on Harry, Ron, and Hermione, "So I advise you all to keep what happened here in your hearts, because without many of you in this room, we would have no home to come to. And for that, I thank you. Now enough of that, as one great wizard used to say at the beginning of every start of term feast, 'tuck in!'" Hermione wiped tears that had formed in her eyes away as mounds of food appeared before them, Ron did not hesitate to dig in. She found her appetite had diminished heavily after everything that had happened today, so Hermione simply drank tea, wishing she could freeze this moment in time and prevent what was to come. Yet as the feast went on, a plan hit her.

"I'm not feeling well, I think I'll go ask McGonagall about my room. I'll catch up with you later, ok? Man down the fort for me Harry?" Hermione said quickly as she stood, Ron's mouth too stuffed with bread pudding for him to properly respond.

"Will do Hermione. And I'll make sure Ron is nice to the first years, if he doesn't choke to death that is." Harry winked at Hermione who offered him a faint smile before briskly walking up towards the teacher's platform, unable to avoid people looking over at her in confusion. And here she wanted so badly to be invisible. Instead she swallowed her slight embarrassment and went to stand directly in front of McGonagall.

"Ms. Granger?" The old witch's voice said questioningly as she raised an eyebrow at the girl before her. Hermione smiled tightly, already she felt more awkward then she liked and knew that more than one person was staring at her, wondering what she was doing. Students rarely if ever went up to where the teachers sat.

"I'm sorry to come up here and bother you professor, but I'm not feeling so good and I hoped you'd be able to tell me how to get into my rooms. If it's not any trouble…." Hermione tried to say as truthfully as possible. Part of her really didn't feel good, and she just wanted to be alone and away from everyone else. But most of all she really didn't want to face Malfoy, not yet.

"Would you like to go to the infirmary Ms. Granger?" McGonagall asked, a few other teachers looking their way. Hermione quickly shook her head.

"Oh no Professor it's nothing that serious…."

"Very well. Your dormitory is located on the Sixth Floor, in the East Tower behind the portrait of Greggory the Swarmy," The woman leaned in slightly, "Your password is Witherwings." She winked quickly and leaned back in her chair as Hermione mustered a slight smile.

"Thank you very much Professor. I'm sure I'll be fine by the first Heads meeting." She spoke quickly and turned before McGonagall could say anything else. Right now all she wanted was to be away from everyone in this room, every curious eye, especially a certain pair that she could feel on her now as she walked out of the Great Hall, cheeks flushed. Hermione quickly made her way up to her new rooms and uttered the password, she was welcome by a comforting lounge and two staircases that lead up to her and Draco's rooms. One side was draped in emerald and the other in crimson and so she walked up the later, barely looking at her room before flinging herself onto her bed. Better. Much better. She looked up for a moment to notice her things were already here and so she pulled out her wand and magically locked her door. All she wanted was peace and quiet. Just to relax. And then, without warning, she slipped into a dreamless, empty sleep.

* * *

Today seemed to be getting worse by the minute. Most of him didn't want to be here. It didn't seem right….yet he didn't want to be locked away either. And then a small part, some selfish part of him did want to be back. This place was more of a home than anywhere else. But he had no choice. Hermione Granger had sealed his fate. If she hadn't intervened…No. It wouldn't have mattered, He wasn't given a choice. He didn't deserve a choice. She had made it for him. Instead of spending possibly years in a cell going insane, she had come to pay him back. To give him a second chance. Only to throw up all over his leather shoes. He was still angry, but he knew he deserved whatever he got.

And then there she went, strutting right up to the platform like the little golden child she is. Ridiculous. He could barely stomach this place and now he had to live with her. Her and her secrets. He couldn't help but wonder if she worried that he would tell someone. He wouldn't, he couldn't. At least he was more human than that. But he could see what it was doing to her, it was written across her face, in her eyes, even though he tried best not to look deep. And now she had given into Weasley at the worst point in her life. Maybe this year if anything, he could teach her how to be selfish. But when he noticed she didn't return to the Great Hall he knew she couldn't handle being here, trapped, and had left. He felt the same. But he wasn't going to run away, he was better than that. He didn't speak a word to his friends as he ate, he didn't have to. They had all gone through enough already. And Pansy kept glaring at him, clearly she was still mad about how he had lashed out at her. He didn't care. Silently he rose to his feet as everyone began to leave, and McGonagall appeared beside him.

"Mr. Malfoy. It's good to see you again," She said promptly, no smile on her thin lips. He nodded slightly, a mask of calm on his face, "I imagine you saw Ms, Granger leave, she wasn't feeling well and asked to go to your dormitories early. I'm sure she is merely overwhelmed by everything," McGonagall peered at him over her glasses, that one statement saying more than words could ever. She was clearly not happy with what Hermione had agreed to do in watching Draco. He was a Death Eater after all. After she told him the location and password he turned to leave but she called him back, moving closer to him, "I trust you will not give me any cause to be concerned with Ms. Granger's well-being. We've been through enough as it is." Before he could answer, even if he thought of something worthwhile, she was gone, her words heavy in his brain as he left the Great Hall to find his room.

* * *

Hermione shot up suddenly in bed. It was late, she wasn't sure how long she had slept, but now she could hear noises below. And she knew it had to be Draco. Still she couldn't find it in herself to want to ever face him again, not after everything that had happened between them. But now, as she sat alone on her bed, she felt the same pang of guilt, emptiness, and sadness wash over her. She knew where she wanted to go, to see if she had the strength in her, but she didn't want to pass him in the process. So she waited a few minutes before she was sure she had heard him go upstairs before descending her own stairs and slowly crept out of the Common Room. She seemed to step outside of her own body as she walked down the empty halls, her feet guiding her where her mind feared to go.

There it was. The door was opened. She peered into the darkened bathroom, holding her breath. It seemed as if now her demons had come back alive as her mind swarmed with images of that fateful night. Her chest tightened, maybe she wasn't as strong as she thought. She felt sick, hollow. To anyone else this room was meaningless but to her it held her darkest and most painful secret. And then, just like that night, she heard footsteps approaching.

"Please go away…" She muttered softly, just as before. And some part of her knew who was waiting for her there, who had come. Yet it couldn't be. Yet as Hermione Granger turned around she tried best to hide her surprise when she saw him, statuesque and pale in the moonlight, his eyes cold and curious.

"Why would you ever want to come here Granger?" Malfoy said casually as he stepped closer, his arms crossed as he looked at her. She took a deep breath as she tried her best to regain composure.

"I….I don't have to explain myself to you Malfoy," She spat suddenly, surprised at her own defensive outburst. He sneered slightly at her, "Don't have anything better to do then follow me around?"

"Don't flatter yourself Mudblood…" He nearly growled at her and the words stung more than she would have liked, "I would expect some sort of decency after what happened on the train." He turned away from her and began to walk away when suddenly Hermione burst into tears. Being here, fighting with him, it was all too much to bear. When he heard this he froze, tense, and turned back to her, "Bloody hell…" He murmured and walked back to her.

"I'm sorry….." She choked out as she starting wiping her eyes with her hands. Draco sighed and pulled out a white handkerchief and handed it to her. She looked at him somewhat surprised before wiping her eyes, "Thank you." She sniffed and he nodded.

"You're making this harder than it has to be you know. We're even, basically. Wouldn't it just be easier to agree to a truce? As much as I'd rather not be here I'd even less like to be in Azkaban. And after everything I'm sure you'd rather not fight with me every other minute…" His intense gray gaze met hers, "So what do you say Granger?" He tilted his head slightly, the faintest of smiles on his lips and she herself smiled slightly.

"I'd like that a lot Malfoy." She wiped her eyes again as he held out his hand for her to shake. Slowly, carefully she took his hand for the second time that day, and once again she was surprised that his simple touch didn't make her skin crawl. It was almost comforting to know she could still feel remotely ok in a situation like this. He shook her hand and as he did footsteps thundered down the hall outside until the form of Ron Weasley appeared nearly breathless by the door. Draco and Hermione both turned to look at him, his wand out pointed at Draco who released Hermione's hand and grabbed for his own wand, fury in his eyes.

"Ron! What are you doing? Hermione frowned as she looked at him, his eyes already glaring darkly at Draco whose face had once again become a dark sneer. Once again she felt trapped, like she was losing air. Here Ron had come, to be her savior yet again when all he did was hurt.

"I went to your room and saw you weren't there so I looked on the map and saw you were here with this prat." Ron spat as he pointed his wand more urgently at Draco. Hermione sighed and walked closer to him, lightly pressing down on his arm to make him lower it.

"I'm fine Ron. I can take care of myself. Nothing happened." She said quickly, darkly as she met Ron's eyes, trying to convey a perfect sense of assuredness. Draco tucked his wand away and crossed his arms as he watched them, curiously.

"You can't blame me. He's the last bloke I want you around," Ron glanced back at Draco, angrily, "Hear that Death Eater? You'd be smart to keep your distance this year."

"Tough words coming from a blood traitor, Mudblood lover. And don't worry about distance. I have much higher standards than that. But even you should realize you're not man enough for her." As Draco called this out, Ron lunged himself towards the boy but Hermione pushed him back with all her might. And although and words stung, she wasn't going to let them fight.

"Didn't you hear what he said? I can't just let him…" Ron began to say but Hermione silenced him.

"Forget it Ron…it's not worth it," Hermione said softly and Ron seemed to relax slightly against her hold, "Just take me back to my room, ok?" Her eyes pleaded with him and he nodded, glancing back a Draco for a moment before doing the one thing she didn't expect. Ron's lips collided hard with hers, forcing her to respond. Yet suddenly she felt unable to breathe again, the forced kiss, this place…tears filled her eyes.

"No need to impress me Weasley, take it somewhere else." At the harsh sound of Draco's voice Ron pulled back suddenly and put his arm around her shoulders, leading her from the bathroom. In that last second she turned back to see Draco, tears still in her eyes and his held something strange as well. Almost as if he was saying to her, _You're welcome_.

* * *

The next morning came with the promise that perhaps this day would be better than the one before. Although nowadays, Hermione could never be sure. Once again she found herself unwilling to see Draco again, after he had helped her out of a situation she had felt trapped. She couldn't help but wonder why he kept doing it, but she was grateful. That one speck of humanity that dwelled inside of him was all that kept her from going completely insane. He alone knew. He alone was making her feel half way normal. It was on these things she dwelled as she met up with Harry, Ron, and Ginny in the Great Hall for breakfast. Even as she walked in she felt dozens of eyes fall upon her as she clutched her books, specifically an intense gray gaze on her back as she sat down next to Ron.

"Hungry?" Ron asked with his mouth full as he sloppily poured her a glass of pumpkin juice, Harry fought a laugh as he watched Hermione daintily take a piece of toast. She was sitting there but her mind was elsewhere, focusing on a thousand different things at once.

"Feeling any better Hermione? I heard about the train." Ginny said as she looked at Hermione who had barely noticed she was being spoken to. She looked up quickly.

"I'm fine. Just nerves I suppose." She shrugged and took a small bite of her toast, Ron's hand came up to rub her back and Hermione's eyes closed. Why was this so hard? She felt as if she couldn't breathe again, like she wanted to run. His hands were hot on her. He didn't understand and so he leaned in to kiss her cheek, his hand going around her waist to move closer to her. Hermione's eyes opened again, full of fear and pain but her friends were clueless. Harry read the Prophet while Ginny looked over her schedule. Ron was oblivious to what he was doing. And she wanted nothing more than to be saved again. But she knew here, now, it was impossible. So she did the one thing she could think of.

"I need to stop at the library and check out a book, I'll see you later." She spoke quickly, in a blur as she tore herself away from Ron's grasp and grabbed her things. Before any of them could properly respond she was nearly running out of the Great Hall, out of the school. Her feet began to take her out onto the grounds and towards the forest where she stopped to lean on a tree and catch her breath. What she hadn't seen was moments after she had left, the owner of those intense gray eyes had casually left his group of friends and vanished from the Great Hall.

* * *

"If you can't stand him touching you then why do you even bother?" Hermione nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard Draco's voice from behind her. As she whipped around he could see how flustered she really was, her cheeks red, hair wild, and eyes slightly glossy from the tears she was fighting off.

"Give me your flask." She said darkly as she impatiently held out her hand. She needed something, anything to help distract her head. And she wasn't up to discussing her love life with him right now.

"Don't drink it all at once Granger." Was all he replied as he pulled a small silver flask from his pocket and handed it to her, he wasn't going to tell her no. He didn't have the right. She shakily took off the top and drank a big sip, the disgust showing in her face as it burned down her throat.

"Vile…." She managed to squeak out as she took another swig and handed it back to him. She was silent for a few moments before speaking again, "I don't know why I bother with Ron….I love him. I do. I always have. But right now I'm doing what he wants. Not what I want." She leaned an arm against the tree and looked down at the ground.

"Well maybe you shouldn't give a fuck about what he wants. Because it's destroying you." Draco said darkly as he looked at her, and she was unable to avoid his eyes. She knew he was right, but she couldn't just destroy her and Ron's relationship, their friendship. She couldn't be heartless.

"I'm already destroyed…" She said softly and looked back away from him. And even though Draco Malfoy felt nothing for this girl before him, he could see her pain, he could tell she was at a loss.

"See that's your problem Granger," Malfoy said as he shrugged off his school robes and dropped his bag as he swiftly climbed up into the tree. He reached out his hand for her to take, "You've doomed yourself already." Without thinking she took his hand, she didn't have to question it. She knew it wouldn't drive her to the brink. Instead he helped her up into the tree beside him.

"I can't help it. All I focus on is what happened. Every time I touch anyone…I'm back there…." She looked over at him and shook her head with a sad smile, "I don't even know why I'm talking to you about all this."

"Because I know you won't tell anyone else. Face it, I'm all you've got," He smiled slightly at her, the act alone surprising her, "It won't haunt you forever. Trust me," He leaned in slightly to look in her eyes and for once she saw his own demons hiding within him, "Don't be late for class." He said before jumping down, grabbing his things, and taking off back towards the castle, leaving her alone to dwell on everything.

* * *

_Draco….A voice, calling to him across what felt like miles. So familiar yet so cold, so dark. He heard it, but it swam into him like water, filling up his soul. Draco…it was for something important, something he didn't know. But there was a sense of urgency he didn't understand. And where was he? He didn't know….he couldn't see. No…he was in darkness, sheer, pure darkness. Nothing. Was this some sort of hell? Who was trying so hard to call him? He knew, he knew well who it was but it was as if his mind wouldn't let him answer. He was mute. Mute in darkness. Draco! So urgent, so angry. He wanted to answer but part of him couldn't deny a slight fear that embodied him. Should he be scared of who owned this voice? So many unanswerable questions ran though him. But none like the voice, the deep swell of emotion in made in him. Him, Draco Malfoy. But for some reason he didn't feel the arrogance he had worn for so long. It evaporated. He was scared. He was in darkness. He didn't want to be here….DRACO!_

Draco shot up in bed, breathing heavily, covered in cold sweat and he couldn't understand why. That dream, or whatever it was, was hardly anything to get upset about. Yet he was, he found himself more upset than he had allowed himself to be since he had arrived. Was that more than a dream? He tried to clear his mind of the simplicity of it but failed. Part of him still felt as if he was enveloped in that darkness. And that voice calling him, now he was awake it seemed as if it could have belonged to anyone, only in his sleep did his mind recognize it. He knew sleep wouldn't come back to him now so he sat up and ran a hand through his white blonde hair, covering his eyes with his hands. And then, it happened.

"Draco….." The voice, the voice from his sleep, the one like ice in his veins. He heard it then, in his head, and he knew without a doubt he was awake and lucid. Now he believed he was losing his mind, "Draco!" It called to him, internally pounded on his brain and there was only one name he knew of that could be doing this to him, one person that could be trying to claw his way from his memory. Without thinking, without any reserve, Draco jumped out of bed and grabbed his wand, pointing it at his left forearm, directly where the Dark Mark had been tattooed to his skin. Only one wizard would every want to penetrate his mind, alive or dead, and right now he would sever the last physical tie he had to Voldemort. Because if he was the one calling his name, either conjured from his own mind or from someone else's, he wouldn't have it. He had already destroyed so much of Draco's life, he wouldn't take anything else.

"Incendio…" Draco whispered, his voice shaking as blue fire came out of his wand and collided into his flesh. Draco clenched his teeth hard, his eyes beginning to tear up in pain as he fought the screams that tried to claw out of him. The fire melted into his skin and disfigured the Mark, burning agony into him. Draco pulled his wand back as the fire disappeared again and he clenched his fist as the red, burned skin sent impossible pain up and down his arm. The Mark had been destroyed. Draco staggered over to his bathroom and ran icy water over the wound, trying to calm it but the pain was more than he could bear. He quickly took a cloth and drenched it, wrapping it around his forearm before going back to lie in bed. He wouldn't bring this to anyone, not unless he had to. This was his burden to bear. And now, his mind quiet, he hoped he had shattered his last connection with the man who had ruined his life. He would take the pain again tenfold if it meant that.

* * *

The next day Hermione woke up and once again found herself not wanting to do anything. Despite the slight comfort Draco had given her yesterday, strange as it was, she still couldn't shake everything weighing on her mind. She hadn't slept well again. And all day yesterday she had spent it awkwardly with her friends, seeming to breeze through the day without part of her even being there. She was almost like a ghost. She slightly wanted to talk to someone, that someone undoubtly being Draco, but he seemed to be everywhere but where she was. And their friendship, or agreement they had, was still something that she realized was secretive almost. She couldn't tell Ron or Harry that he was being nice to her, they wouldn't understand and she wasn't ready to tell them anything.

Skipping breakfast she went straight to her History of Magic class where the one seat she could bear to occupy was in the back, and it happened to be directly next to Draco Malfoy. Never in a thousand years did she imagine she would want to sit next to him. But as she walked in it seemed his eyes locked with hers and she was drawn over, a few people looking at her curiously for it. As she sat down beside him, she noticed he seemed paler, tired, something about him was off. But she knew she couldn't ask now.

"Granger…" He said her name somewhat darkly, with an edge, but it didn't faze her. She didn't even glance in his direction as she began to pull out her books.

"Malfoy." She said calmly as she placed everything just so in front of her. The room was somewhat silent before Professor Binns came through the wall and already started to drone. Draco lazily listened but Hermione leaned in to better pay attention. Her spirit may be broken but she wouldn't shy away from the one thing she was good at, school.

"Today we'll be discussing early Viking wizards pillaging through Medieval Europe," The ghost professor before them began to speak in a monotone voice. Yet Hermione shifted uncomfortably in her chair, she had a bad feeling about where this was going, "Pillaging typically involved a variety of events. Most Vikings would tear through villages and kill and steal livestock as well as take slaves of local people and forceably bed women. This often lead to wars and disagreement throughout the region," Hermione's breath caught in her throat, an action that caught Draco's attention as he glanced curiously at her. Once again her mind flashed back to that night, that single night where she herself had been pillaged by a force she was unable to stop. A force that tried to overtake everything she knew and loved.

"Granger?" Malfoy asked in a low voice but she was gone, she could hardly breathe. Professor Binns words were enough to drive her to the edge and now she was there, without an escape. Stuck in this room. And so she did the one thing she could think of.

"Get me out of here." Hermione turned to him as she spoke, her eyes pleading. She knew if anyone could help her now it would be him. He met her gaze with his, his face blank but his eyes were contemplating everything she said. He leaned in closer to her, his eyes suddenly serious.

"I will. But you need to trust me. Got it?" He said sternly and she nodded, anything to not be in this small room filled with people, "Go along with it and I'll fix it once we get out. But we need to move fast." And with that Draco discretely pulled out his wand and pointed it at her face.

"What are you going to do?" She whispered quickly as she looked at him and he frowned at her.

"Just shut up and go with it." e He He replied as he mumbled a spell and suddenly blood erupted from her nose and splattered over her and his robes. Hermione let out a shriek of surprise and threw her hands over her face. In a second Draco had grabbed her elbow and pulled her to her feet as everyone around them froze, it took Professor Binns a few moments to break out of his speech to realize what was happening.

"Ms. Granger?" He asked and Malfoy simply began to walk towards the door as he started to quickly speak.

"Someone must've slipped her some Nosebleed Nougat in her pumpkin juice this morning as a prank. I'll escort her to the Infirmary to get the antidote and clean us both up." Before Binns could respond, Draco had already opened the classroom doors and was pulling him and Hermione out. Her head was spinning from it all as he pulled her further from the classroom and pulled out his wand again, muttering a countercurse that stopped her bleeding nose and then he got rid of the blood that covered them.

"Was that really necessary?" She asked quietly as she followed him out of the castle.

"I did what needed to be done. And it won't count against you, so I won't have to listen to you bitch later about ditching class." He said dully as they walked towards the lake and sat down near the shore. Hermione was quiet for a while as she took a few deep breaths and stared out at the water.

"I know I've been saying this a lot lately but, thank you….I sincerely mean that," She turned to look at him but he kept his eyes on the horizon, "I'll have to think of a way to repay you." At these words he sighed slightly, clearly in deep thought.

"You don't need to repay me Granger, I've owed you for years." Finally he turned to look at her, his gaze silent and intense. And she knew the truth of his words.

"Why do you suddenly care? You hate me remember? You always have. What changed?" At these words his frown deepened as he looked at her, a small sneer appearing on his lips.

"I don't care. I just feel sorry for you," His defensive, arrogant tone was enough to make her stand up and turn to leave but his voice called her back, "I don't hate you…." At the softening in his voice she turned back and sat beside him, "I may be a Death Eater, but what happened to you I could never do to someone." She looked into his eyes and smiled slightly.

"You're not half as big of a git as you let on, you know that?"

"Don't get used to it, ok?" He muttered as he looked back at the lake. He shrugged off his school robes and frowned as he looked at the bandaging on his arm, it had bled through slightly. And the pain in his arm was close to unbearable. At least talking to Hermione was helping to distract him. But then her eyes saw his covered wound and they widened.

"What happened to your arm?" She said as concern flooded her eyes, something he wasn't used to seeing. She gingerly reached out and touched his skin and he clenched his teeth, letting out a low groan.

"An accident…" He muttered, going to pull his arm away but she grabbed his forearm and he let out a hiss. She knew what lie under those wraps, it was the Dark Mark, "Merlin Granger! Let go!" He growled but she shook her head, standing her ground.

"Show me. Is this why you look so worn today?" The look in her eyes and the pain from her grasp made him sigh. He had to give in. Gingerly he undid the wraps and she let out a gasp at what she saw. His arm was worse than before, bleeding, scabbing, a burned disaster.

"Happy?" He said sarcastically and looked away from her, not wanting to see the look in her eyes. When she didn't speak he turned back and saw that she had tears in her eyes.

"Why did you do this to yourself?" She whispered as his brows furrowed in slight confusion.

"Why are you crying?" At this she wiped her eyes, "And I don't have to justify anything I do to you." His tone was sharp but she didn't move away. Instead she pulled out her wand and a cooling magic came out of the tip and into his burn, her other hand gently holding his arm. His eyes shut at the sensation, making the pain subside slightly.

"Feeling better?" Her voice was soft and he opened his eyes to look at her, nodding slightly.

"Much. Thank you." He replied as she continued to let the icy magic flow into his wound.

"Were you trying to burn off the Mark?" Hermione asked softly and Draco was about to reply when heavy, almost angry footsteps approached them and Draco suddenly pulled his am away and concealed it as the livid form of Ron Weasley appeared beside them, clutching a broomstick for Quidditch practice. His face was once again twisted in anger as Hermione stood up and tucked away her wand. Draco simply looked up at him dully, his face stoic.

"What are you two best mates now?" Ron said somewhat angrily as he looked from Hermione to Draco, "I thought you hated him Hermione."

"I do…I…" Hermione began to say as Draco stood up and walked slowly towards Ron, a sneer on his lips.

"Please, as if I would ever want to be friends with a Mudblood….I just got stuck working with her. Don't ever assume what you don't understand Weasel." He glared at Ron and shot a looked at Hermione but the anger didn't reach his eyes.

"I'd watch my back if I were you Malfoy, your money won't protect you from getting your ass kicked." Ron said as Malfoy began to walk away. He turned back to look at Ron darkly.

"Anyday, anytime Weasley, I look forward to finishing this once and for all. Maybe when you're girlfriend doesn't stop you from acting like a man." Malfoy spat as he walked away and Hermione had to restrain Ron with everything she had but he eventually shoved her off.

"Ron…" She began to say but he stopped her, still mad.

"I don't want to hear it Hermione. I'm sick of always finding you with him and how secretive you're being. In case you haven't noticed I'm your boyfriend, not him. I'm your friend…" He said, his voice softening but she looked away from him, silent, unsure what to say, "Fine. Just fine." Ron said angrily as he mounted his broom and took off towards the Quidditch Pitch, leaving Hermione alone and upset. Her mind stuck on his angry words and everything Malfoy had said to her and about her, and even more what he hadn't said. There was so much she had left to figure out.

***I didn't really proofread this good, sorry! Until next time. It's gonna be a good one, I promise.**


	4. Repercussions

**AN: Ok, I know this story is weird in how non-interactive the characters are kind of being, but Draco and Hermione do get closer in a way here and next chapter is where it's really going to happen. And trust me, I'll straighten it all out...you'll see what I mean ;) Once again thanks for reading and please review! This story is going to get really epic really soon. **

_I was invited to a beheading today. I thought I was a butterfly next to your flame .A rush of panic and the lock has been raped. This is only a game, this is only a game...But then our star rushes in, feeling like a child and looking like a woman...She has been forecasted with an attempt to kill herself, but the ending didn't test well. So picking my skin and my scales. I see my horror mirrored in your sundown of your blank stare. -Eat Me, Drink Me_

Hermione paced nervously outside the doors of the Quidditch locker room, she had watched Ron practice flying and then angrily make his way here to change. She needed to talk to him, to get everything out, before she lost her chance again. Or before Ron found her with Malfoy in a seemingly friendly position. She tried to decide what she should say in her head, but the ideas were buzzing too fast, her mind too worried, she couldn't even out her thoughts. She would just say what needed to be said and hopefully he wouldn't completely hate her for it. For a second her mind went to Draco Malfoy. In a way he had put this idea into her head, convinced her that she didn't need to sacrifice her happiness in order to make Ron happy. She could be selfish. Just as all these thoughts enveloped her, the door to the changing room opened and Ron's eyes met hers and he frowned.

"Surprised to see you without the ferret…" Ron responded darkly as he moved past her but Hermione quickly grabbed his arm, he was going to make this hard, she knew he was.

"Can you just let me explain Ron? Your temper gets the best of you and you make it impossible for anyone to talk some sense into you," Ron's frown deepened at her words and she sighed for this, "There is absolutely nothing going on between Malfoy and I. He's just been…more civil towards me since we've come back…."

"See that's what doesn't make any bloody sense Hermione. Don't you find it even a little bit odd that Malfoy's hanging around you? He's a Death Eater! He will never change," For some reason this one statement made Hermione's heart sink. Maybe part of her did want him to change, she saw it, even if it was rare, "I don't want you anywhere near him."

"Well that will be a bit hard considering I live with him! I have Head duties to perform with him!" She raised her voice slightly, getting angered. He was being intolerable, unbearable…he was being Ron.

"Oh don't give me that rubbish…I know you can avoid someone if you really want to. I've seen it. Why are you defending him? You don't…fancy him do you?" It was then Ron's face seemed to drain of color as he fully took in what he was suggesting. Hermione looked into his eyes, trying to convey as much truth as she could.

"No. I don't fancy him. And I'm not defending him. I'm defending me," At this Hermione stepped back and clasped her hands together, tears beginning to form in her eyes because she knew she had to hurt her best friend. And she knew it wouldn't be easy, for either of them, "I wish it didn't have to be this way Ron…"

"Hermione…don't do what I think you're going to do…" His green eyes were pleading as he looked at her, begging and full of love. He knew what she wanted to do, what she had to do, but he was going to go down with a fight.

"I can't keep doing this Ron. You have to understand…I care about you, more than I could ever say, but it's not enough. Not anymore. I'm not the same Hermione. I can't be who I am and be your Hermione at the same time." A tear fell down her cheek and he stepped closer, still looking at her with pain and disbelief in his eyes.

"You could've said no when I asked you at the Burrow. You could've stopped me from feeling this way. You could've told me you didn't want to be with me." The sadness remained in his eyes but his voice was slightly angry, placing all the blame on her as more tears fell down her cheeks.

"I tried to tell you at the Burrow! I wanted to try to make us work but I can't do this. I'm not happy! I haven't been in weeks…I've tried to make this work because I know you wanted it to, but right now I need to do what's right for me." Hermione took a deep breath to try and compose herself and Ron was silent for a moment, taking it all in.

"You never wanted to be with me did you?" He said after a few moments, his voice low and Hermione stepped closer to him but he stepped back, barely even able to look at her.

"No. I did. For years I did. And I realized it all last year. It isn't that I don't love you Ron, because I do, but right now, I can't love you the way you want." With these words of finalement, Ron turned to leave without a word, Hermione reached out to touch his shoulder but he brushed her off.

"Do me a favor Hermione. And stay the hell away from me." His voice was low and guarded as he spoke, not even daring to look back at her as tears threatened his own eyes and he walked out of the Quidditch Pitch and onto the grounds. Hermione simply stood there in shock for a moment until it all came back to her. She had lost her best friend, and she may never get him back. And with that thought, she broke out in racking sobs to the empty air.

* * *

_Draco's eyes opened and he gazed upon darkness once again. But this time, far in the distance was a light he could barely make out, something opaque. Slowly it seemed to move closer, or maybe it was him that moved, he had no control of his body. It felt as if he was paralyzed. And then, from the distant light he once again heard the voice calling out his name. His mind went rigid with this. Had he not severed his tie to the Dark Lord? Was he here again, calling for him? And once again he found himself scared of all this. Part of him knew this had to be a dream, yet he felt terrified. That same chilling voice called his name and if it was Voldemort, there was nowhere for him to run. He just kept being pulled towards this faint light, helpless. When finally it seemed as if he had come to the end of wherever he was being led, he saw a prison cell before him. The opaque light was streaming through the single, barred window high above the ground, moonlight darkly spilling over the saddening place. This was one thing Draco wished he didn't have to see, it felt too real. It was as if he was now standing in his own cell, the ground dirty, the air cold and damp. This place was a place of death. It was here he heard his voice being whispered again, the sound coming from the darkened corner where even the moonlight feared to spill, and he feared to look. A figure rose from the shadows. At first, all Draco saw was the white-blonde of his hair and horror encased him as he thought this may be a vision of his own future. But then as the man stepped into the moonlight, he saw the sorrowful, weak form of his father. His grey eyes were distant, near mad, as if he were trying to focus on something faraway._

_"Father?" Draco said weakly, he didn't want to be seeing this, his father's turmoil. He had watched his father be taken away in reality, and a thousand more times in his nightmares, but now this was too much. Too vivid. It seemed as if hearing his name had broken whatever trance Lucius Malfoy had fallen under, his head darted quickly to meet Draco's eyes and the smallest of smiles graced his lips. It lit up his sunken, sallow face in an almost eerie way._

_"Draco…." Lucius said softly. It was then Draco realized who had been calling him, why the voice had enstilled so much emotion within him, "Finally you have come to me. There's much for us to discuss…" Draco didn't understand what his father was saying, what he wanted. But as he tried to focus on the man before him, a distant sound of crying protruded in the back of his mind. An irritation. The sound alone made the scene before him, his father and the prison cell, begin to vanish slightly in a haze. Draco knew he was going to wake up._

_"Wait…father!" Draco called out to his father who once more began to slip away into darkness, anger beginning to show on his own features as he was separated from his son._

_"You must…" Lucius began to say but suddenly the dream was shattered into nothingness._

Draco once more sprang up in bed, his mind reeling as he tried to wrap his head around what had just happened within his sleep. He was angry, furious even that he wasn't able to further talk to his father. He felt as if seeing him there was a feat not easily accomplished. What if he never saw him again? And then he heard it. He had been distracted at first but then he finally came to terms with the noise coming from downstairs in the Common Room. It was the same sound that had awoke him from his dream. Crying. And he knew it was Hermione. He couldn't feel bad, he couldn't muster any sort of pity for her now. She had ripped him away from his father. Away from whatever important thing he had wanted Draco to know. And now she would pay. Draco quickly got out of bed, not bothering to throw on a shirt as he angrily thudded down his stairs and into the Common Room. And there she was, sitting in a chair by the fire, hands over her eyes as she tried to control her sobs.

"Would you mind keeping the pathetic blubbering down to a minimum? Some people are actually trying to sleep." Draco hissed the words at her, his mind still wrapped up in everything. Hermione looked up suddenly, her face wet with tears and looked at him with slight disbelief. After dinner she had finally broken away and collapsed here, frozen in the spot by her own sobs and then Draco had appeared.

"I did it….I ended it with Ron." Was all she could say as her saddened eyes looked at Draco who sneered at her, an action that took her off guard. Had it really only been hours ago that he had skipped class with her? That she had helped heal him?

"And why in Merlin's name would I give a fuck about that? If you're so torn up about the Weasel you shouldn't have dumped him in the first place." Draco said the words that came to his mind first, the ones he knew would hurt her. He didn't care how upset she was, she had taken him away from the answers he so desperately wanted. Now it was her who got angry and stood up to face him.

"How could you say that? You were the one who convinced me to leave him! You said I deserved to do what I wanted. Well I did, and I lost my best friend because of it. Are you happy Malfoy? Was this simply a ploy to make me more miserable?" Angry tears now fell down Hermione's cheeks. She couldn't take all this. She especially couldn't take Draco's indifferent stare as he gazed at her.

"I thought you knew enough not to trust a Death Eater." The look in Hermione's face told Draco he had truly hit a nerve. She couldn't believe that after she had stuck up for him when she fought with Ron, he was here now making everything a lie. A slight pang of guilt racked through Draco as he looked at her, so innocent, but he forced it away. He knew what he wanted, revenge, and now he was getting it.

"I do. But I didn't know I couldn't trust you Malfoy. You certainly fooled me." She spoke with conviction but it was faltering. And her words stung more than he'd like to admit. He knew she didn't deserve to be treated like this, not after everything. But before he could say anything else, good or bad, she had taken off to her room and slammed the door shut behind her. Draco sighed and simply went up to his own room, knowing he wouldn't be seeing his father again that night.

* * *

"Well look what we have here, a lonely, sad Weasel." The voice of Pansy Parkinson took Ron off guard as he moved off the edge of the Astronomy Tower to look at her. A dark smirk was on her lips as she shut the door behind her and walked toward him.

"I'm not in the mood Parkinson…" Ron's voice was low, dangerous. After dinner which he had surprisingly barely eaten, he had come up here to be alone, to think. His mind was still stuck on the conversation he had with Hermione in the Quidditch Pitch. Pansy's dark smile changed slightly as a look of curiosity crossed her face.

"And why aren't you? Did you and Potter get into a lover's spat?" She stepped closer to him, amusement in her eyes but Ron simply grunted and turned back around to face the grounds.

"Piss off. I want to be alone. Why don't you go find some Slytherin to shag?" Ron muttered and he thought she had left but instead she moved next to him to lean on the rail and look out at the sky.

"Maybe I came here to be alone too Weasley, ever think of that? Maybe you should stop thinking you're the only one," She turned to look at him for a moment and their eyes met. But before he could register what she meant, she turned back again, "Besides, the one person I would want to shag wants nothing to do with me."

"Malfoy," It was the first name he could think of the first that spilled from his lips and Pansy sighed softly as she looked at the grounds below, "It is him?" Ron said quickly after a few moments of silence.

"You really believe I plan on spilling my guts to anyone? Especially you….face it Weasley, if anyone here needs a good shag, it'd be you," At these words Ron looked at her with his mouth slightly agape that she would say that to him. She laughed softly, "Careful, a doxy might fly in there." At this he quickly shut his mouth.

"And what makes you think that?" At these words Pansy gave Ron a knowing look.

"Well I know Granger certainly doesn't put out…" The frown on Ron's face deepened as she said this, and he didn't even have it in him to defend Hermione's honor, he didn't care. He was too upset with her to care. Pansy looked at him carefully and nodded slowly, "That's why you're up here isn't it? She ended it."

"I won't spill my guts to you Parkinson…" Ron said as he looked at her and Pansy smiled slightly.

"Didn't have too." They both turned back to look at the grounds and after a few moments of silence Ron let out a deep sigh.

"Maybe I do need a good shag. It would distract me at least..." As Ron spoke, Pansy looked back at him with a curious gaze.

"You're a virgin aren't you Weasley?"

"So what if I am?" Ron said defensively as a mischievous look came into the girl's eyes as she grabbed for Ron's hand and began to pull him towards the door, "Where are you dragging me to?"

"There's a broom closet right down the stairs…come on Weasley." She opened the door and pulled him through as they began to descend the staircase.

"Why are we going to a broom closet?" Ron asked at the base of the stairs and Pansy stopped to look at him in near disbelief.

"You're as thick as a troll Weasley…" She said with a slight smile as she looked up at him, "I'm providing you with a distraction. So just shut up and go with it." With that Pansy Parkinson tugged on Ron's shirt and their lips collided hard. At first he didn't respond, but as her hands grasped at him he couldn't help but kiss her passionately back as they stumbled into the broom closet. And here it was, a perfect distraction. As his lips touched Pansy's warm skin the thought of Hermione began to slip his mind as he slowly slipped into undeniable pleasure.

* * *

Impossible. Completely impossible. It seemed as if time had slipped from Hermione's mind and made her forget even the most trivial yet important things in her life. Now as she took into consideration exactly the date and how vital it was to her in this moment, it felt as if her world was even further crashing around her. It couldn't be. It couldn't. Not after everything that had happened. It couldn't end this way. Without realizing it she began to shake, terrified of what it all meant. It had been well over a month, but she had been too wrapped up to realize what had suddenly stopped. What was missing. She knew it wasn't simply stress, it was far beyond that. And if she was right, and a dark part inside of her knew she was, she was pregnant with Lucius Malfoy's baby. A knock on the portrait outside the Common Room made her jump, her heart nearly breaking out of her chest. Taking a few deep breaths she was able to force herself to go downstairs, her mind and body sick with thought, and opened the door.

"So mind telling me what's going on?" Harry asked as he stepped into the Common Room and all Hermione wanted was for him to leave. She couldn't be with someone right now, she couldn't handle it. All she wanted was to curl up on the floor and lie there forever. His emerald eyes watched her but it was now, more than ever, that she fought to hide how she felt, hard as it was.

"Harry this really isn't a good time…" She said softly as she moved over to begin busying herself with some of the papers she had left on the table by the fireplace. Harry followed her over.

"Seems like it's never a good time with you lately. Wanna talk about it?" He asked calmly as he sat in the chair in front of her as she still tried to keep herself from going absolutely hysterical. His gaze was curious and she knew he wouldn't just leave without some sort of explanation.

"I'm sure Ron has told you plenty…How he hates me and I've broken his heart. I can't say I blame him. I deserve for him to hate me." She said softly, not wanting to dwell anymore on what had happened with her and Ron she was already on the brink of losing control with what she had just realized. Pregnant…she was pregnant….A wave of emotion caught her off guard again and she had to bite her lip to keep from bursting into tears or screaming out her lungs.

"Actually he hasn't said much of anything to me. He's been distant. He keeps disappearing at night…I thought it might have something to do with you but I guess not," The information alone surprised her but she still looked down at the papers to try and compose herself. She didn't understand why Ron was acting this way, but she could hardly share her thoughts with Harry, if she spoke again now she may lose it, "But Ron will be fine…he's Ron. Who I'm really worried about here is you. How're you holding up?" A few seconds passed before Hermione finally looked at him, anger somewhat building in her along with a thousand other emotions.

"Do yourself a favor and don't worry about me Harry. I was the one who brought this on myself. I deserve all this pain because I didn't fight back in the first place," She realized then she wasn't really talking completely about Ron and she quickly fixed that before Harry caught onto anything, "I can't be with him. He wants me to stay away and I will until we're both ready. So please Harry, just watch out for him for me?"

"I thought you loved him…" Harry said softly as he looked at her, contemplating everything. Hermione was done, done with everything. It was the same conversation replayed over and over again. And she couldn't deal with it, not now.

"It isn't about love! Love doesn't change anything. For all I know it makes things worse…or better yet, it doesn't even exist," Lust exists, she thought to herself, lust is what drives people and the evil within them. Love couldn't be real, whatever she had felt for Ron had only lead to pain. How could she love someone that she couldn't even touch? Harry frowned at her words, taken aback, but the look alone was enough to tell her he was going to try and get more out of her and that couldn't happen, "Now I'd really appreciate it if you left Harry. I have a lot of homework to do."

"But Hermione…" He began to say but she had quickly moved over to the door and opened it, her face somewhat empty but the truth behind it was soon to envelop her.

"Please Harry….just go." Her voice quieted, nearly pleaded and with a sigh, defeated, Harry left the Common Room. She listened as his footsteps disappear down the hallway before shutting the door and falling to the ground. Once again she began to sob for it all. For the child that may be growing inside her, for the loss of Ron, and even somewhat for Draco Malfoy who she knew may never again comfort her in her despair.

* * *

Draco felt like a complete ass, he couldn't deny it. Even though he had been furious at Hermione for waking him up from his dream with his father, he still couldn't help but feel bad. She was right, he was the one who put the idea of breaking up with Ron in her head. But he just wanted to help…in his own way. Why…well that he didn't understand. She was a Mudblood. His rival in every way imaginable. He hated her….didn't he? Then why did he feel a pang of sadness every time he saw her? He pushed these thoughts around and came up with the one conclusion he would allow himself to bare…he was simply sorry for her. It was pitiful, weak, but she needed someone to talk to. And if it kept him from dealing with Potter and Weasley's bullshit he would take it. He knew he was over being a Death Eater. The burn on his arm proved that. It was getting late, he knew he should go back to his room. As he walked down the hallway, he stopped suddenly when he saw the familiar form of Hermione Granger sitting against the wall next to a broom cupboard, knees against her chest. Once again he felt a pang in his own chest at the vacant, lost look in her brown eyes. Would she ever have peace?

* * *

After Harry had left, Hermione fought everything within her to lie on the ground and lay there for as long as she could. She knew that her life may as well be over. Lost. The darkest part of her wished Lucius Malfoy had killed her that night, at least she would be free. Here she was trapped by everything and everyone, her only ally had shown once again he was heartless. She was alone. Her only company was the child possibly growing within her. It explained so much. The sickness on the train, in the mornings, changes in mood…maybe she had known all along and mentally fought away the truth as long as she could. She couldn't just lay here, she needed to walk around, do something. Her thoughts were everywhere and nowhere. So she pulled herself off the ground, feeling as though her limbs were weighted with sand. It was getting late but she didn't care. She let her feet guide her, her mind focused elsewhere as she walked, eyes distant and filled with sorrow. Walking down the hall the sound of a familiar voice sobered her and she stopped as she heard a conversation happening, and in all places, a broom cupboard.

"Missed me did you Weasley?" The voice of Pansy Parkinson carried weakly through the wooden door and Hermione strained to listen as she heard the sound of lips coming together, she was frozen, "Haven't told anyone about this have you?"

"I think you missed me Parkinson," And there it was, although Hermione wished it wasn't true, Ron's voice, his breathing heavy from kissing, "I haven't told a soul. Wouldn't want to lose my distraction would I?" Hermione felt as if she had lost all her breath. The lustful tone of Ron's voice gave it all away.

"No, neither would I." Pansy said as Hermione once more heard their lips come together in a long, passionate kiss. For the second time today her world had begun to crash around her. Instead of moving, instead of thinking, she sank to the floor, pulling her knees to her chest as she simply stared at the wall. She could hear every sound coming out of the closet beside her, driving her to the brink. Ron was in there, forgetting her, and she was outside losing her mind. She fell back into the night she was raped…the night that changed everything. She cursed it, with everything she had. And now as she heard the sounds from the room next to her, she sank further down into her dark memories, wanting nothing more than to be forgotten and sink into the floor itself.

"Granger?" Malfoy called to her. She hadn't even heard his footsteps come up. Part of her was gone. She felt his gray eyes staring at her, forcing her to look up at him. What he saw in her eyes chilled him to the very bone, "What happened to you?" The amount of disbelief in his voice slightly surprised her but right now she was beyond caring about what had happened between them. The pang was heavy within Draco as he looked at her, no one should ever look that way.

"Ron…." Hermione managed to murmur as she slightly inclined her head towards the door beside her. Draco carefully stepped around her and put his ear to the door, gray eyes widening in sudden anger at what he heard. He wanted to break in and strangle the blood traitor right there, for reasons he couldn't even explain, but he knew right now Hermione needed help. He knelt down to look at her and the emptiness threatened to engulf even him.

"You need to get up and come back to the Common Room." He wasn't asking, he was telling. She knew he was right but she couldn't bring herself to move. Even breathing seemed like a chore. It wasn't worth it. Her eyes were back on the opposite wall, staring but suddenly she felt a soft hand on her cheek, gently but assuredly turn her head back to look into his eyes, such an intense gaze.

"I can't…." She whispered as it all began to piece together, everything, and tears filled her eyes. Draco's brows furrowed at this slightly and he nodded, seeming to understand that it was too much for her to handle anymore. And then he did something she didn't expect. One arm he moved under her bent knees and the other came around her shoulders as he began to lift her up. Without thinking her arms went around his neck. She needed this. She needed someone to carry her away from it all. And she rested her head against his shoulder, his whole body so much warmer and comfortable then she had ever imagined. But what she, and barely what he understood was that he needed this too. Something inside of him felt comforted as he held this girl in his arms, protecting her from the world. They entered the Common Room and he placed her gently down on the couch, both realizing the sudden cold without the presence of the other. She curled up in a ball, her eyes closed, and she listened as Draco's footsteps went upstairs and his door closed behind him.

* * *

Hermione's eyes opened suddenly as it all came crashing back to her. She sat up on the couch and knew it had to be after midnight. She felt heavy, sick, empty still. Her mind flashed back to her realization, to hearing Ron, to being in Draco's arms. It was almost too much. She stood up and slowly walked over to the table where a book sat. She had looked up a spell to inform her if in fact she was pregnant…if she was a glowing white light would appear from her stomach. Instead of risking going to see Madame Pomfrey, she would rather do it herself, yet as she picked up her wand, she found her hand trembling. Try as she might the words just wouldn't come, she couldn't bring herself to do the spell. Having stood there long enough she knew only one thing to do, one thing that would give her the answer she needed but feared so much. And so with that she climbed up the stairs to Draco's room and knocked lightly on the door.

"Malfoy?" She said softly at first and thought she would have to knock again, as awful as she felt about it, but she heard noises inside his room. The door opened and the shirtless form of Draco Malfoy looked down at her, his gray eyes somewhat sleepy, taken off guard. When he saw her he frowned slightly.

"This room's off limits Granger…." He muttered darkly as he started to shut the door but the look in her eyes and her voice made him stop.

"Please….I need your help," She looked into his eyes and his own were curious at what she wanted, "Grab your wand…and come downstairs…" Her voice was soft as she turned and walked back down the stairs, Draco didn't wait to grab his wand and followed after her. The fire was still lit and she stood in front of it, visibly trembling. Concern entered his eyes as he moved in front of her, one hand wrapped around his wand.

"What's going on Granger?" He asked as he tried to find the answer within her eyes but found only sadness there. She tore her eyes away from his, barely able to get the words out that he needed to hear. Finally she took a deep breath and looked back at him.

"I think I may be…pregnant…I…I can't do the spell to check myself. I couldn't…" She bit her lips to keep herself under control and not even Draco could hide the shock within his eyes, "I'm sorry to keep asking…"

"Don't be," He cut her off suddenly and stepped closer, the pang in his chest coming forward and seemingly overtaking him, "What do I have to do?"

"It's a spell…Procreatio. Just please…do it quick." Her voice was soft as she spoke and he nodded in agreement, so taken aback by what she had told him but he still wanted to help. Despite her condition he knew she was still too stubborn to get any help herself. And so he raised his wand and pointed it at her abdomen.

"Procreatio…" He said softly as light shot from his wand into Hermione. For a second they stood still, silent. It seemed neither of them breathed. Hermione even believed that maybe she had been wrong. But then, there it was, the light now glowed brightly around her stomach, she knew without a doubt now. And with that, Hermione couldn't help but once more burst into tears. She went to fall onto the ground but Draco caught her halfway and eased them both on the ground in front of the fire. Without thinking or caring she clung fiercely onto him, grateful for something real, for someone who didn't force her back into the dark place of her memories. And surprisingly enough he clung back to her, his arms wrapping around her tightly as he rocked her slowly, "It's ok…It'll all be ok…" He whispered in her ear as she slowly began to regain control of herself, even though she knew it would never be ok. As she calmed down she still remained in his arms, their fight seemed distant now. He wasn't willing to let her go, not just yet, he needed the comfort too.

"Don't leave me…" Hermione said softly into his neck and he nodded as he pulled back slightly to look at her, wiping the few stray tears away from her cheeks as he did.

"I won't…" And with that he gently laid down, not daring to release her as he did, and she moved down to cuddle up beside him, his arms once more trapping her against him. And for once, through all of this, she felt better…safe even. Yes, she was pregnant, yes her world was crashing down around her, but being here in Draco's arms, the last place she ever expected to be, made her feel better than she had in months. Yet suddenly the darkest thought came into her head as her heavy eyes began to close and the boy beside her began to relax…not only was she pregnant, but she was pregnant with a baby who was undeniably Draco Malfoy's brother. She fought back her own tears then just to get a good night's sleep…all she wanted was to forget.


	5. The Darkest Dream

**AN: I know I've been neglecting this, but I'll try and be better. I was going to stop, but I think it would be good for me to finish. This is a very dark chapter...just forewarning. As always reviews are much appreciated. I love you all. =) **

_I am an ocean, I am the sea, there is a world inside of me. Lost in the abyss, drowned in the deep, no set of rules could salvage me. Only a shipwreck, only a ghost, merely a graveyard of your former self. We just watched the waves crash over. I've been cast astray. There is a Hell, believe me I've seen it. There is a Heaven, let's keep it a secret. No one needs to know. If we make it through the night, if I make it out alive, Lord have mercy and pray for the dead. And you say that you can save me, don't hope to ever find me, I fear I'm too far gone. Pray for the dead. I am an ocean, I am the sea, there is a world inside of me. -Crucify Me_

As Hermione's eyes opened she became aware of a few key facts. One of those facts was that her back was killing her, she wasn't in her bed. And the second fact was that she was cold, and alone, on the ground in front of the extinguished fire in the Common Room. For a tired second, she didn't understand, but then the events of the day before came rushing back into her head and she sat up suddenly, her head spinning. She was pregnant. Nothing had changed that. Her head had seemed to comprehend this knowledge, accept it somewhat. But one thing she hadn't expected was waking up here alone. After how kind Draco had been to her last night, how he'd held her close, she thought for sure she'd gotten through to him somehow. That maybe the good, human side of Malfoy had shone through and would have stayed with her the night. But as she lay there, alone, she knew it wasn't true. And the worst part was she wanted it to be, she wanted to see more of the good side of Draco Malfoy. Even though she had been violated by his father, something had changed between her and Malfoy that night. He had shown her something, and she couldn't help but want to pull more of it out of him. Instead of lying there and waiting to face him again, she forced herself up and got ready for class. She was angry, confused, upset and she couldn't handle staying there a second longer.

* * *

During the course of the night, Draco once more found himself being called deep into a dream by a voice who he now knew was his father. The same voice that had begun to plague him even during hours when he was awake. Part of him didn't like this, it was far from normal, yet lately everything had seemed backwards. Tonight especially…after everything with Hermione he really wasn't sure of anything anymore. He had helped her once again and carried her away from another situation that threatened to ruin her. And worst of all was how warm she was in his arms, how alive even though she felt like she was dead. This was even more apparent now as he held her against him, laying together on the floor. How did it all come to this? He already had an answer. She needed him. The great Hermione Granger was finding refuge in her enemy. But he knew she couldn't tell Potter or Weasley, especially now that she was…pregnant. The words stung to even think about. She didn't deserve this, no one did. And he didn't know why he cared so much. But as he held her and listened to her fall into sleep, he realized he didn't want to let her go, not just yet. Because maybe he needed her a little too.  
_  
Draco…._And there it was, like he knew it would be again. And even though who he held in his arms was a betrayal to who he was and where he came from, he hoped his father wouldn't realize this. With all these thoughts heavy in his mind he shut his eyes and gave into the voice that called him into sleep. _It seemed so much faster now, his body paralyzed and a faint light called him forth within the darkness. Draco….his name being called again as he moved forward back into his father's cell. The place of despair. A place where he himself almost called home. This time his father stood as nobly as he could with his weakened body, his chest out proudly. Malfoy men were never allowed to be weak. Twin eyes met and Lucius's lit up with something Draco never saw…pleasure. He was pleased with himself. Maybe this truly was more than a dream. It felt as if he was truly standing before his father. Draco looked down at himself and realized he was dressed the exact same as he was when he had fallen asleep with Hermione. And he also realized this left his bandaged, burnt arm exposed.  
"Draco…my son. You have finally come. I trust there will be no more disruptions?" The look in his father's eyes was almost dangerous. Draco could read between the lines, another interruption meant trouble. Whatever was happening, it was important. _

_"No father," Draco replied but he wasn't entirely sure if it was the whole truth, especially because he was in such close proximity to Granger, "Have you found a way into my dreams?" Even this was somewhat out of turn, he knew this, but he also knew he needed answers. _

_"Many of the other Death Eaters who remain outside Azkaban walls are awaiting my guidance Draco, but I knew there was only one whom I could place my trust in. The Dark Lord taught me Occulmency himself as you very well know. You and I have always had a specific mental connection because of our blood…I knew if I could reach anyone it would be you," Lucius gave his son a cold smile, and it was then Draco began to slowly piece together what his father was saying. He was giving Draco a chance at redemption. He had faith in him, that alone sparked something within him, "Your body remains at Hogwarts, but mentally you have been brought here. Undectable. I have a very important mission for you my son."_

_"What are your plans father?" Draco asked, almost eager to hear them. Despite the evil this man had done, Draco had nothing but love for his father. He had spent his whole life fighting for his father's approval and acceptance…and he had never been good enough. All he had ever wanted for his father to love him back, to be proud of him. And now he may have that chance. _

_"Now that you have cemented a place at Hogwarts you will be a key in my plan to finally rid the world of Harry Potter," There was the truth then, although Draco was hardly surprised, "He destroyed the Dark Lord and brought hope back to the wizarding world. I want to destroy that hope. And in doing so you must help me escape from Azkaban." These words however, were far less comforting in Draco's mind._

_"The Ministry has its eyes on me…it won't be easy to do." Impossible more like it. But he trusted his father, despite everything. _

_"You will need to brew a polyjuice potion. When you come to see me they will try and take your wand and search your person. Therefore you will need to bribe the head guard and use a Memory Spell to alter his memory of ever seeing you. We cannot make you seem suspicious. A guard will lead you to my cell…then you will curse him, take his wand to give to me, then we will finish the polyjuice potion with mine and his hair in order for us to switch bodies and make the proper escape. Finally I will confound him and we will lock him in the cell in my place." A dark smirk crossed Lucius's features but it didn't reach his eyes. Draco was surprised that his father had thought up such an elaborate plan, maybe even elaborate enough to work._

_"I'll do as you ask father. How will my being at Hogwarts help our cause?" It had become their cause. Even though Draco didn't want any more involvement as a Death Eater, he knew now he would never escape. His willingness to help his father proved that. Instead he could just wake up, walk away, and leave him there to die. But his feelings towards his father ran deep, the love a son has for his father, and that bond was hard to break, even if it may be one sided._

_"After I have gathered our remaining allies, you will lead Potter and his friends to us in the Forbidden Forest. And that is where we will finally succeed in killing him." Lucius smirked once more and Draco mirrored it, but yet it seemed somewhat forced. Kill Harry Potter….that bothered him, death always did, but he realized then his father would want to have Hermione die as well. No matter how much he would be against it, he knew it would be inevitable. She would be killed with the others. And if he tried to stop them then he too would die. Draco Malfoy was not noble, he was not brave…and he knew then he would have to sever whatever ties he had with her off. Whatever sort of feeling that was beginning to form between them had to end. _

_"I'll begin making the potion." Draco said with a bow of his head, what he didn't notice was Lucius's gray gaze went to Draco's arm and once more a look of malice crossed his face. _

_"Good. I'll send you back into your body," Darkness once more began to surround him but as he looked into his father's eyes, the gaze he gave him chilled him to his core, "I will deal with your arm injury later. That will not go unpunished." These were the last words Draco heard his father say before darkness completely enveloped him and the world came rushing back to him._

His grey eyes opened suddenly and found a mass of brown curls in his view. Her scent was everywhere, and she was still so devastatingly warm in his arms. He heard her release a breath and it only made him frown. The arm that was around her he now began to withdraw, but his hand lingered against her stomach. His talk with his father almost made him forget what they had both realized last night. Whoever had taken away her innocence had left a piece of him behind, and now it was growing inside of her. This thought alone made Draco sad. His hand opened up and spread out his fingers across her whole stomach, and this made him feel even sadder. Sad because she didn't deserve this. And sad because her only source of comfort right now was about to betray her. He couldn't keep thinking all of these thoughts, and so he prepared to cut ties with her completely. He stood up quickly, not wanting to delay what had to be done any longer, and left her on the ground alone. Now he had a job to do. And she was only going to die in the end. Being close would only complicate everything. And so Draco Malfoy put on his best stoic mask and tried best to remind himself that Hermione Granger was his enemy and nothing more. Luckily he was a good liar, even to himself.

* * *

Hermione skipped breakfast, she couldn't eat, she felt much too sick for that. Also her mind was still reeling with the thoughts of last night. She wasn't sure if she wanted to see Draco at all. She'd come for him for help and he let her alone on the floor. Right now the last thing she wanted was to sit in a room full of people with his eyes on her and Ron's glaring at her. Plus Ginny and Harry would be far too nosy for her to deal with. So instead she decided to take the long way to her Arithmacy class, hoping to clear her head even though that was beyond impossible. Her head was full to burst and it was mostly focused on the child she realized she was now caring, and she felt as if everyone knew. She was so caught up with her own thoughts, she felt her shoulder bump rudely into someone else's and she quickly began to apologize before looking up into a pair of steely gray eyes.

"Watch where you're going Granger! How you gone completely mental? Or have you lost all your sense of manners?" His voice was cold, dark, and his eyes hid it all well. His words were loud enough to cause people's eyes to inadvertently begin to watch. And the hallway was crowded enough. Hermione's jaw nearly dropped at his words…what had changed so quickly?

"I have manners Malfoy, it's you that needs to learn some," Now everyone seemed to be watching at that made Hermione's cheeks flush, she didn't like this, not one bit. She also hated that he was acting so rude towards her again, "You can all move along!" She said with a firm voice as the other students began to whisper to each other and continue walking. She watched them for a moment before turning back to focus her gaze on the boy before her, "Why did you leave?" Her voice was soft, her hand coming up to lightly hold his upper arm. The look in her eyes could've softened any heart. Still Draco was determined to end this. And better sooner than later.

"Why would I ever want to spend the night on the ground with a Mudblood?" He spat the words as his empty eyes stared down into hers, and he knew she was breaking. Tears welled in her eyes and she was at a complete loss. Maybe there really wasn't any good inside of Draco Malfoy, maybe it was all dark.

"I wish you would have left me there to die that night…" Hermione said in a dangerous whisper as she pulled her eyes from his and disappeared from the hallway completely, unable to stand being near him any longer. She felt sick, she felt awful, and so she went back to her room. Draco on the other hand, stood there for a while, thinking of the look in her eyes, always so filled with emotion. And once again he felt sad. But this was for the best, wasn't it?

* * *

She wasn't in Potions. That didn't surprise Draco though, she was probably furious…or maybe just completely at a loss. He didn't blame her though. When she wasn't in Defense Against the Dark Arts he got somewhat curious. She couldn't have been that upset. What did she expect from him? She wasn't at lunch. Maybe she just didn't want to see her friends after everything that she had come to realize. That made sense didn't it? By the time History of Magic started and she once again didn't show, Draco was trying to deny that he was somewhat worried. No matter what was happening, Hermione almost never missed class. He didn't want to be worried, and he kept telling himself that he wasn't, but the truth was still trying to pry its way out. Despite what his plans had been to stay away, despite the inevitability of her and his fate, he found himself walking up the stairs to her room after classes had ended.

Hermione already hadn't felt good when she woke up, but after her fight with Draco she had felt even worse. Mentally she felt betrayed, but physically she knew something was wrong. She never missed classes but she had decided she would rather curl up in her bed and let this child inside her kill her instead of fighting her way through the day. In a sense, Hermione Granger had given up. She heard footsteps on her stairs and thought maybe Draco had let Harry or Ginny in but there wasn't a knock on her door. Instead whoever it was just walked in and stopped, clearly taking in the sight. She had drawn the curtains, enveloping the room in darkness, and she was wrapped up in a ball on her bed. "Go away…" She mumbled from somewhere in the mass of blankets and she felt the bed dip as whoever it was sat down. Merlin help them if they tried to touch her, she was beyond unstable to deal with that right now.

"Not until you tell me why you skipped all your classes today Granger." Malfoy's cool voice called to her through the dark. No. Not him. Not now. He knew she wasn't going to be happy, even furious that he had shown up. But he didn't care, clearly something was wrong. At his words she pushed the blankets back to turn to look at him, her eyes were red from crying, and a scowl crossed her lips.

"Want do you want Malfoy? Why are you here…to insult me more? Can you stop pretending like you care about what happens to me?" Her voice sounded so empty, so defeated. Maybe she truly had reached wits end. Everything within him said to insult her back, sneer, and walk away. But could he break her soul further? Could he send her deeper to the bottom? Most of all he asked himself, did he want that? No. He knew the answer even though it worried him to realize it. He didn't want to keep causing this girl pain, she'd been through enough as it is. Hermione saw the slight confusion enter his eyes, he was unsure how to answer what she had said, "I don't feel good…" She said softly as she slowly sat up, grimacing as she did. Yes he was an ass, but seeing how at a loss he was she figured she could at least humor him. Was that concern she saw hidden in his eyes?

"I didn't mean to get upset before…" He mumbled the words, not wanting to meet her eyes. She knew he was waywardly apologizing, in his own strange way. And he was sorry, but Malfoy's never out right apologize. That would only be a sign of weakness. And she seemed to understand this but another wave of pain swept through her abdomen and she doubled over slightly, causing Draco to move closer, trying to visibly examine her for signs of something, anything, "Is it…the baby?" His voice was soft as he said this and finally their eyes met. There was pain etched on her face, and fear too.

"Maybe…I don't know. I just feel sick…" Hermione answered softly as she stared into his eyes, still utterly confused at his sudden concern with her well-being. And she was concerned too. Something was wrong, she knew that, but part of her just wanted to let whatever it was consume her, child and all, "And I refuse to go to the Hospital Wing." Despite her pain, Hermione Granger stuck out her chin in defiance and Draco had to fight not to smile slightly at this. A Gryffindor through and through, always trying so hard to be brave.

"I don't want anything to happen to you Granger. You need someone to protect you," He moved even closer now, but he was careful. He knew she must be still mad, but right now there were more pressing matters. The words that came out of his mouth surprised even him, how could he protect someone who he would help kill? Hermione too seemed almost shocked by what he was saying but was silent as he moved his hand slowly towards her but stopped and let it rest on the blankets, "I won't touch you unless you want me to. And I won't let anyone else," There it was, the truth, a promise that had been burning in the back of his own head that had come spilling from his lips. And she knew this was the truth, she saw it deep within his icy gaze. There was something more than darkness inside of Draco Malfoy, and it was staring at her right now. Instead of words she knew actions would speak louder. She reached her hand out to rest on top of his, a gesture that meant more than anything she could say. Their eyes met again, and he knew she trusted him, and she knew he really did want to protect her, "Lay back down. I'll bring you some food and a sleeping potion. Maybe you just need rest."

"Thank you…again." She said with the smallest of smiles as she moved back to lay down, his hand coming up to smooth her wild curls as he stood back up. He had made a choice, one that he knew they would both suffer for in the end. With one hand he would help the Death Eaters rise up to power again and with the other he would be protecting and caring for Hermione. He knew he couldn't leave her to fend for herself now.

"You don't need to thank me." He said back with the ghost of a smile and she watched as he left her room. Steps. Baby steps. This truce of theirs was more complicated than she had thought. But for some reason she didn't mind because the more and more she saw of Draco the more and more she began to like what she saw. She just hoped he wouldn't keep running from her.

* * *

_Death. Blood. The smell of it everywhere. She couldn't see anything, it was as if she was blind. But Hermione knew she did not want to see whatever surrounded her. She knew that once she did, there would be no going back. It was as if she was protecting herself from seeing what she knew she couldn't handle. Something terrible had happened but she couldn't remember what. And yet, even though she willed herself to be kept in the dark, it was as if her eyes slowly opened and adjusted to the scene around her. The tears were falling from her cheeks before she could hold them back. She was standing on a hill, the grass brown and dead, the sky gray above her, and bodies piled all along the ground, slaughtered and covered in blood. She moved her hand to cover her mouth and realized it was shaking and covered in crimson blood. Yet she was without pain. She looked down and saw that the white dress she wore was soaked in blood and she knew it wasn't her own. It was then she realized that in her other hand she held a short, bloodied sword that she knew had been the instrument that had ended the lives of all those around her. She was the killer. The blood was still warm on her pale hands. And the tears would not stop coming down her cheeks. Why had she committed such a massacre? As she thought of this question, and stared at the devastation around her, a very young child with pale blonde hair and grey eyes suddenly appeared before her. He looked angelic and completely untouched by the dark deed that had been committed around him. Hermione stepped closer and the child reached out his hand towards her. "Mother…" It said softly, his eyes cold and dark. With that Hermione let out a scream of anger that wasn't her own and moved swiftly towards the child, her child, and raised the sword over her head to strike. He looked up at her and smiled darkly, the devil's smile, his father's smile, and with that Hermione brought the weapon down to murder her own son…._

Just as the sword was about to hit, Hermione's eyes shot open and she was grateful to see her own room around her. Her eyes were still wet with tears and she felt as if she could still smell the blood around her. She shut her eyes and could still see the murdered faces of the dead around her…the people she had killed. And her child…she had wanted to kill him. She had wanted him to die. It was then she realized something was horribly wrong. After being sick all day it hit her that now she felt perfectly fine, and the smell of blood was not only in her dream. Hermione pulled back her blankets and she started screaming, unable to hold it in. Blood surrounded her…her dream hadn't been for nothing. She had lost the child. The child she never wanted but was going to raise. The child of her rape. But she still couldn't stop the sobs, the feeling of loss. And still she screamed. "MALFOY!" She screamed his name, praying he heard her voice from his sleep. She needed him now more than ever. She needed him to save her again.

* * *

Draco was enjoying a dreamless sleep, something he had not had in a few nights. Yet the sound of screaming began to rouse him. Was this a dream too? He shifted in his sleep, he didn't like the sound. He tried to hang onto his sleep but then he heard his name being called in agony that he realized who was calling him. Hermione. Something was wrong. He didn't think, he didn't have to. He sprung up from his bed and took off with his wand towards her room. He forced open the door and nearly fell to the ground at what he saw. There she was, the girl already broken, sitting in sheets covered in her own blood. And she couldn't stop screaming, her sobs were shaking her whole body. "MALFOY!" She sobbed his name again, she was at a loss. And it was obvious he was too. Because they both knew what had happened, and neither knew what to do. Draco went over to the side of her bed, putting his wand on her bedside table, then moved to wrap his arms around her waist to pull her out of her bed carefully.

"Can you stand?" He asked firmly and her screaming ceased, leaving her empty and shaking. She only nodded to him as he brought his hands up to hold her shoulders and steady her. It was then he saw her white nightgown was stained with blood, and he also knew what was laying in that bed. But he had to be strong, he had to help her, "Go to my room." His silvery eyes met hers and she knew this was not him asking, this was him commanding. And she also knew that his room was normally off limits. But she was beyond that, and beyond questioning him. Instead she looked into his eyes for the strength she needed to move her legs and carry her away from this terrible place. And with that she turned from him and slowly made her way up his stairs and into his room. At that moment she didn't care about looking around, she didn't care about much of anything, and so she lay down on the ground and curled up in a ball. She couldn't deal with this all standing up. Once again she wanted to become the floor. She wanted to disappear. She wanted to be anyone else but Hermione Granger.

Once she had left the room, Draco had to take a few deep breaths to stabilize himself. How did this happen? Is this why she didn't feel good? He couldn't help but blame himself, maybe he had stressed her out too much. Maybe he didn't take care of her enough. Why was this even his problem? No. He couldn't try and think of justifications for his actions right now. He didn't have the time. She was waiting for him and he would take care of this. He told her he would protect her and he meant it. After a few moments of regaining his composure, Draco grabbed his wand and went over to her bed, instantly seeing what he didn't want to see. The proof of what had happened to her in that bathroom. He closed his eyes for a moment before magically vanishing the blood and then carefully wrapping up the lost child. He knew what had to be done. He took off running then towards the 7th floor corridor, the same place where he'd gone so many times his 6th year. He only had to think what needed to be done and it was there, so perfect for the terrible thing that had happened. He knew he couldn't go outside, he needed to get back to Hermione, and fast. She needed him. A small part of him had already begun to accept helping Hermione with her pregnancy, and he only now realized how strong that part of him was. He had wanted to keep her and this child safe, and he had failed. But right now he couldn't dwell on these thoughts. He took care of the baby, vowing to bring Hermione back here when she was ready, and took off back towards his room at lightning speed. Something told him Hermione was going to need all the help she could get.

Hermione had frozen and become part of the floor itself. If she had any will to move it was gone, and she feared that if she did, she would try something reckless, something bad. Because in her head, she had willed this all to happen. A part of her truly wanted it. And that made her feel even less human. Her body hadn't been enough to keep this poor, innocent child alive. She must have done something wrong. She barely heard Draco come back in the room, but then she saw him, standing over her. Neither one of them had any words to speak. Her head turned to look up in his storm cloud eyes, he was trying so hard to be strong, she could tell. She wasn't trying anything anymore. Draco saw this and bent down to scoop her up into his arms and began to walk towards their bathroom. She needed to be cleaned up, staying as she was wasn't an option. Hermione simply let him carrying her limbs that seemed so heavy to her and rested her head against his shoulder.

Once in the bathroom, Draco set Hermione down, already knowing she wouldn't want to stand on her own, she had lost the will for that. He turned the water on in the bath and disappeared once again to find her some new clothes. Surprisingly enough he couldn't bring himself to go back into her room, it was too hard. Instead he opted to go to his own and grab a tee shirt and a pair of boxer shorts before coming back to the bathroom where she simply looked up at him, he had never seen someone looked that broken. Instead of keeping his eyes locked to hers, he shut off the water and went over to her, helping her to her feet. Their eyes met for a moment, she knew that she had to take off her clothes, and he would leave if she wanted, but in all honesty, she couldn't even bring herself to do that. Tears started to form in her eyes and Draco's hand came up to touch her cheek, his own eyes trying to keep her from even further falling apart. She gave a small nod before Draco curtly returned it. He would be all business, that was his plan. He took hold of the bottom of her nightgown and carefully, but promptly, pulled it off over her head. And there Hermione Granger was, completely naked before him. She was beautiful, he always knew that, even if he didn't want to admit it. And she knew that with any other person this wouldn't be happening, but he was, after all, her only ally in the world. Yet despite it all, Draco felt a pull for her that made him ashamed of himself, and he tried his best to focus on her eyes and nothing else. He didn't want to pick her up again, so instead he went behind her and took one of her hands, his other hand lightly touching her back and guiding her towards the tub. Once she was in and surrounded by the bubbles he had put in for privacy if anything, he went and sat a ways away from her.

"Get cleaned up, ok?" Was all he could manage to say and she didn't have to respond. Instead she sank into the warm water and tried to scrub everything she could off her skin, but she couldn't scrub off the memory. She got herself as clean as she could and once her movement had stopped Draco turned to look at her and got back up, grabbing a towel and holding it open for her as she got up and wrapped herself in it, "Put the clothes on. I'll be right outside." He looked into her eyes once more before going to stand outside the door and wait for her. She did as she was told and put on his clothes then went outside to meet him. In any other situation Draco would have found it incredibly alluring to see her in his bed clothes, but now it was only for necessity. He took her hand without thinking, feeling the urge to touch her, comfort her in some way, and led her back up to his room. She released his hand and went to lie back on the ground but Draco merely sighed at this and picked her back up and placed her on his bed.

"Don't leave me…" The sound of her voice nearly surprised him as he turned back to look at her before sitting in a chair across from his bed. She was shaking again, she kept falling apart over and over. And she wanted him to hold her together. His touch didn't ruin her, it saved her if anything. And she wanted his comfort.

"Never again." He said truthfully as he watched her pull her knees to her chest. He didn't even think about the response before he said it. Could he really mean that? He didn't want to leave her. He wanted to restore her life and bring back the fiery girl he had always known. He wanted to help her any way he could.

"No…can you just…hold me Draco?" Her own words were the work of some courage on her part and they took him by surprise. Hold her? What a simple request yet it was unlike he had ever been given. He didn't answer her because he didn't have to. Instead he got back up and moved over to his bed, pulling the covers back as she got under them, and he too slipped in. He moved cautiously close to her and moved his arm out and she snuggled closer against him, resting her head on his chest as his arm came around her. Once again she was in his arms, and he found himself liking her there more and more. Hermione was comforted in being there, his body not sending her back into torment, and it felt good to have someone there to keep her from the edge. In the back of their minds, Lucius Malfoy still lurked. Hermione thought of his child she had lost, but she tried to quiet this in her mind. Draco however had trouble suppressing his father who was trying to claw his way out. After tonight he knew he would be beyond screwed. Because want it or not, he did feel something for this girl and he was going to protect her. But he just didn't know at what cost for either of them. Time would only tell.

**AN: This was a hard chapter to write. At first I did it because of the dramatic effect it would have, and I hate fanfictions where Hermione gets pregnant. But this is a very traumatic situation and my heart goes out to anyone who has had this happen. 3**


	6. Falling From Grace

**AN: I know I was gone forever but I got into a bit of writer's block and got really busy with school. But this story will really start picking up and I promise to finish it. Thank you all for reading and reviews are very appreciated. ;)**

_I got my head, but my head is unraveling. Can't keep control, can't keep track of where it's traveling. I got my heart but my heart's no good. You're the only one that's understood...You make me hard when I'm all soft inside. I see the truth when I'm all stupid-eyed. The arrow goes straight through my heart. Without you everything just falls apart. My blood just wants to say hello to you. My fear is warm to get inside of you. My soul is so afraid to realize, how very little bit is left of me -The Perfect Drug_

As the sun streamed through Draco Malfoy's bedroom window, it made the exhausted, worn girl in it grudgingly open her amber eyes. For a brief moment it seemed as if time had stopped and all the horror and pain of the last few months had vanished. But as Hermione realized where she was, and more importantly, that she was alone…it all came rushing back. He had left her once more, in a time when she needed him the most. Hermione couldn't think, she could barely move. It felt as if all the air was being forced from her lungs and she tried to take deep, sharp breaths to regain her composure. She pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped herself in a ball, wanting nothing more than to disappear again or be anywhere but here. In this school even. The door opened and her empty eyes shot to it and there he was, nearly perfect as he straightened his emerald green tie. His gray eyes went to hers and he frowned slightly at the sight of her.

"I…I thought…." Was all Hermione managed to say. She had truly believed he had abandoned her, any sane person would have. And it seemed as if he instantly knew what she was thinking. He walked over to her and pulled the blankets back up around her, forcing her to lie back down. His silvery eyes met hers in a moment and he let out a sigh as he moved back to cross his arms.

"I told you I wasn't going to leave you," With these words Draco went over and opened his curtains as a distant knock sounded on the door to their Common Room and he went to answer it without a word. Hermione sat there hoping it wasn't one of her friends yet the motivation to feel anything but numbness was little. Her worry was short-lived because Draco emerged again with a tray of food, "I ordered you breakfast. I know you won't eat it, but you should at least try. And I've excused you from classes for the rest of the week. And you won't be bothered. I made sure of it." Their eyes met again and Hermione was simply shocked. He'd taken care of everything. She had wanted to force herself to go to class but knew she couldn't face it. But because of him she wouldn't have to. Crazy as it seemed it was if he truly did want to rebuild Hermione Granger.

"I really don't know how to thank you…" Her voice was soft as their eyes met again and he merely shook his head slightly. He frowned as he looked back at Hermione. She still looked so worn, so empty. Yet part of him wished she wasn't like this. It would make his life so much easier if she was simply ok…he wouldn't have to play the double agent. But he was already beyond screwed.

"If you want to thank me, try and eat something. You're going to waste away to nothing," He wasn't entirely sure how to act after the events of last night, it was a lot to handle, even for him. She simply nodded at his words and curled back up under the blankets, "I'm off to class." He said somewhat dully, still trying to somewhat keep up his guard even though now it was close to pointless. He walked towards the door and looked back once at Hermione who was still curled up but had now closed her eyes, trying to drift back into sleep. And with that, he left his room.

* * *

Draco walked fast towards his destination. He didn't care much if he was late for class. He hoped Hermione was in too upset of a state to realize how early he'd left, he had other business to attend to. Despite being so preoccupied with her problems, he was still wrapped up in his own. His father wouldn't want to wait and they didn't have a lot of time to waste. Draco, the double agent. He'd promised to protect Hermione and he would be helping ally the Death Eaters to help kill her and her friends. What did he want? He wanted a place to brew a Polyjuice Potion and quick. He thought of this as he walked back and forth in front of the wall where the door to the Room of Requirement slowly began to appear. Inside was a cauldron already brewing the potion, a shelf with old wands, flasks, a sneakoscope, and other stealthy gadgets scattered around. This would do. Draco sighed as he gazed at all of this and thought of his own treachery. He didn't want to be a Death Eater. He never really wanted to in the first place…but he did it to save himself. And once again he was doing it to save himself. Rather than fight his father he would join him. He just hoped it wouldn't lead to where he feared it would. Enemy or not…he didn't want to see Hermione die. Not after everything. She deserved life. And yet he would be the one to help end it.

* * *

Ron straightened out his robes as he stepped out of an unused classroom he had just met Pansy in before lunch. They hadn't really done anything, merely kissed. And he couldn't argue. He was about to shut the door when a hand grabbed his wrist and pulled him back. He turned with a grin as he leaned down to meet Pansy's lips. He pulled back to look down into her eyes, a mischievous look on her face.

"Stay. Just skip lunch…even though I know you'd rather stuff your face then get distracted by an innocent Slytherin girl." She smirked at him and he moved his arms around her waist. This certainly had become complicated. What had started as sexual meetings in broom cupboards had turned into secret kissing in classrooms. Even talking and acting halfway civil. The hole Hermione had left was beginning to heal, and he knew it was because of Pansy.

"Innocent Parkinson? And you had me so fooled…" With that she smacked his shoulder lightly, "I can't stay today. Harry and Ginny have noticed I've skipped a few meals. It's not like me at all."

"You must like me a lot then if you're willing to go against your reputation." Pansy looked at him wickedly and Ron's ears turned red before he leaned down to touch his lips to hers again.

"Same for you," He said with a small smile as he moved back towards the door again. It was true, they'd been very careful, but if anyone found out it would make things difficult. She was a pureblood Slytherin and he was a blood traitor Gryffindor. It wasn't like he was in love with her, but what they were doing was still enough to cause trouble. Ron knew Harry may understand, but his family might not. And Hermione…well, he didn't want to care what she thought, "I'll see you later Parkinson."

"Oh you definitely will Weasley." And with her last words he left the classroom and took off for the Great Hall. He'd spent too much time sneaking around, but he was a teenage boy after all. And after the stress he'd been in the last few months he needed something, and he'd found it. As he entered the Great Hall, he saw a slew of familiar faces, none of which were Hermione. He took a seat across from Harry and Ginny. Seamus, Dean, Neville, Lavendar, and Parvati all sat nearby as well.

"Where'd you disappear to after Charms? I thought you were coming right here?" Harry asked casually as he grabbed a sandwhich from the middle of the table and began to eat. Ginny looked at her brother questioningly.

"I had to run back to our room, my ink exploded all over my bag. Brilliant really," Ron said as he avoided eye contact and started filling his face with food, "Where's Hermione been?" At these words Parvati turned quickly to speak as if having been waiting for one of them to ask.

"Apparently she came down with some kind of terrible Muggle flu and is cooped up in her dormitory for the rest of the week."

"I heard she won't even let Pomfrey see her." It was Lavendar who piped in then and Ron tried his best not to glare. Harry had a slight frown on his lips and Ginny nodded slightly at the news.

"She was acting weird last time I saw her….thought it was your fault mate." Harry said as he looked at Ron who's ears reddened as he saw Lavendar shoot him a dirty look before turning back to talk to Parvati. Ginny laughed slightly as she took a sip of pumpkin juice.

"Oh she must be so love sick over you Ron…" The red-head said rolling her eyes, "We should go see her though, make sure she's ok. And it wouldn't hurt for you to try and make up with her," Ginny gave Ron and knowing glance before standing up, "I need to grab my potions book before class, but after we're done with classes we should go see her."

"It's settled then. We go see Hermione before dinner." Harry said with a nod as Ginny bent down to kiss his cheek. Ron sighed, unsure of how he felt about actually going to see her, especially with Pansy in the back of his mind.

"Good. I'll see you both later then." And as Ginny left, Ron and Harry ate the rest of their lunch and the three all thought about Hermione. What they didn't know was that their whole conversation had been carefully watched by a certain pair of grey eyes. And those eyes caught enough to realize their plan. He knew they couldn't see her, and she wouldn't see them. So he devised a plan that might be fool enough to work.

* * *

For Hermione, it had been an impossibly long day. Despite what Draco said, she just couldn't bring herself to eat. She did manage to get dressed but it was only after she used Accio to get her clothes. She couldn't bare going back up into her room, not yet. When she went back into Draco's room she looked around a little but decided to try and sleep more, she just seemed so exhausted. Yet she didn't want to impose and keep sleeping in his bed and she also didn't want to leave the comfort of his room. So once again she found herself lying on the ground in front of the fire, it seemed to suit what she needed. She heard his footsteps come up the stairs after his classes had ended and she sighed softly as he opened the door, knowing this wouldn't make him happy.

"And what in Merlin's name are you doing Granger?" Before she had a chance to respond, or even look at him, she was in his arms. He almost threw her on the bed and stayed over her for a moment, holding up his own weight as their eyes met and locked for an instant. He moved up off of her and went to get off his bed but her hand shot out and touched his wrist.

"I didn't want to impose…" She said softly and he looked back at her before moving next to her on the bed, pulling her body against his as he wrapped an arm around her. She didn't mind, in fact, she had hoped he'd take her back into his arms. It felt…safe, as hard as that was to admit.

"I think it's a bit late for that. Considering everything," He said the last part softly and Hermione instinctively tensed in his arms and he gave her a small squeeze, "Did you eat at all today?" Draco glanced over at the table in the corner and saw food covered up, barely touched.

"I wasn't hungry…" Hermione said this dully but he couldn't help but be upset. He was sick of watching her fall further and further into darkness. Darkness was for him alone. She didn't belong where the light couldn't reach her. But she was sick of it too. She was sick of being everyone but herself. But he really was helping her, even if it didn't seem that way.

"I know you know who did it to you…" At his words Hermione froze. How could he know she lied to him that night? That she really did know? His hand clenched into a fist and hers went to cover it, "I just wish you would tell me so I could make him regret it." And he meant it, the anger in his voice was real. He wanted to make that man suffer for driving away everything he had come to hate and therefore admire about this girl. Silent tears began to slip from her eyes at his words, knowing that if he truly did know, it could ruin him.

"You've already done so much for me." Her voice was a whisper and he moved to see her face, but she turned her head to avoid his gaze. His hand came up to brush away the tears as he examined her and she couldn't help but look into his eyes.

"What else can I do to make this better?" Hermione thought of a million different things but all these were impossible or improbable to ask. Erase her memory. Go back in time. She'd seen it all done but it wasn't the way. There was one thing she really did want though, to escape here, even for a little while. This place held demons for both of them.

"Take me somewhere secret, somewhere beautiful. And no one here will find us." As her eyes met his, Draco couldn't be happier with those words. It was his exact plan too, get them away from this place for a while.

"Done," He said firmly as he got up from his bed and grabbed a bag, already beginning to throw in things he would need, "I'll take the next couple days off class and we'll spend the weekend." Hermione sat up and watched as he started packing frantically.

"I…I was mostly kidding Malfoy…we can't just up and leave…"

"Says who? We're of age. And I say we can do whatever the fuck we please," A small devilish smirk crossed his lips as he stopped a moment to meet her gaze and she couldn't help but smile. It felt almost foreign on her lips. But the act only made Draco's smile widen slightly, "I'll go pack your things. We're leaving today." As Draco vanished from the room the smile remained on Hermione's lips. She felt so comfortable here, with Draco, and now he was going to take her somewhere. She trusted him, which seemed like a complete impossibility months ago. Yet so much had changed, they weren't the same people who fought in that war.

"So where are we going?" Hermione asked as Draco walked in with a bag of her things. The normal Hermione would be appalled at missing school, but lately academics had been the least of her worries. And she could easily catch up.

"You'll see when we get there. And we'll be completely alone and secluded, I promise." He held out his hand for her and she took it as they made their way down the stairs and out of their Common Room. Hermione looked around and felt as if she hadn't been out here in weeks, even if it really had been a few days, "I plan on avoiding everyone I can on our way to the edge of the grounds. Especially Potter and the Weasel." He glanced at her, wondering what she would think.

"I agree. I don't want to explain anything. I can't yet…" The sadness reentered Hermione's eyes and Draco simply nodded at her words, understanding. Luckily it was around dinner and he was able to stealthily lead them out of the school and onto the grounds. Once they had crossed into Hogsmeade he stopped and turned to her.

"Ready for a vacation then?" Draco tilted his head and Hermione smiled slightly and nodded. He stepped closer to her and she took a hold of his arm as they suddenly vanished in a 'pop,' finally able to escape Hogwarts.

When Hermione's eyes opened, she couldn't hold in a gasp. Draco had moved to stand behind her with his hands on her shoulders, positioning her in front of one of the most beautiful views she had ever seen. She looked out at a lake that was like glass as it reflected the green rolling hills that surround them like a barricade. A million shades of green were laid out before them with touches of yellow and patches of colors from flowers that were still in bloom. Once Hermione had taken in the breathtaking countryside, Draco turned her to see the house where they would be staying, but calling it a 'house' was barely appropriate. It looked centuries old, built of old stone and remade to look elegant against the Welsh country backdrop. The grounds were private and surrounded by towering hedgerows. Hermione could just make out the gravel road in the front of the manor house that must lead to an old stone Welsh village.

"This is yours…It's beautiful!" Hermione said in an almost awe as she looked at Draco who was looking around at the scene, examining things.

"It's our vacation home. Almost no one knows it even exists, my parents put ever kind of charm for secrecy, comfort, and protection they could. And it's been in the family for years. It's not quite as dismal as my actual house so I always enjoy escaping to here when I was younger. After the Dark Lord came back to power, we stopped coming." Draco's eyes darkened slightly as he took Hermione's free hand and lead her towards the back door of the house.

"I've always loved Wales. I used to come here to visit my aunt during the summer." She said this, trying to distract from whatever dark memories had overtaken Draco, but she was once more rendered speechless as they stepped into the house. It was just as elegant as anything she could have dreamt.

"I'll show you to your room. I think you'll fancy it." As Draco said this, he led her into the foyer of the house to a grand marble staircase that led to the upper level. She followed silently as she tried to get a look at everything she could. They came to another staircase that spiraled up into one of the four towers on the house and once at the top Draco opened a green, wooden door. Inside the giant circular room were tall, old bookcases bursting with various books. Large glass windows looked out at the mountains, old tapestries with mythical scenes covered the empty stone walls, and a large, four poster bed sat with a canopy. Hermione's jaw dropped slightly as she walked over and placed her bag on the bed before turning back to Draco.

"This is…perfect." She said softly, unsure of what else she should say to describe such a place. The faintest of smiles graced his lips as she walked over to gaze out her window at the view.

"Now I think we're do for a little fun, don't you think Granger? We could go swimming." At these words Hermione turned back to him somewhat confused. It wasn't particularly sunny or, or warm for that matter.

"Isn't it a bit cold?" At these words he smirked slightly.

"I told you my parents made sure this place had every comfort, including a lake that was warm in the winter and cool in the summer. I assure you it won't be cold."

"Fair enough…but I haven't got anything to swim in…" Hermione replied with a slight frown but he stepped slightly closer, an indescribable look in his grey eyes as they met hers.

"Improvise then." He said almost darkly as he left the room and Hermione's cheeks flushed pink. He was even surprised he had said something like that to her, but she had already proven he wasn't someone who drove her back into her memories. And as she stood, watching him go, her heartbeat increasing, all she could think of was what exactly she should wear for underwear.

* * *

Draco was standing at the edge of the lake, clad only in a pair of dark green boxers, a towel at his feet that was monogrammed with the Malfoy crest. Hermione once again turned pink as she walked towards him, a similar towel wrapped tightly around her body for protection against cold among other things. He heard her coming and turned as he crossed his arms, "Shy now are we? And to think I saw you naked last night." He was surprised at his own boldness and she seemed to turn an even brighter shade of pink.

"I'm not shy…." She mumbled and let the towel drop at her feet as she walked towards him, trying hard not to cover herself in some way. Light pink lace, so innocent. Draco had to fight to keep his eyes on hers and not the rest of her body. Of course he had packed this set of hers for this particular reason, but he barely had time to realize what it would look like on. All of these thoughts bothered him, he shouldn't be feeling them, but he couldn't help it. He held his hand out for her and she took it willingly.

"Just tell me if this is too much, alright?"

"It isn't." Her voice was firm and she meant what she said. She wanted this. She wanted to be with him. His touches and his words didn't hurt her, they made her feel something more than pain. And with that they both stepped into the water which was perfectly warm. He released her hand to dive into the depths and she followed suit. Hey both resurfaced and found each other, hair matted, and suddenly Hermione began to laugh.

"What? What's so funny?" He looked at her curiously but still she was dying with laughter.

"There's a plant on your head Malfoy!" She choked out between her laughing and Draco's eyes widened as he reached up and felt a large, slimy water plant sitting on his hair and he quickly pulled it off and whipped it back into the water. A disgusted look crossed his face but that only made Hermione laugh harder and he couldn't help but laugh a little himself. Maybe it was because she was showing some signs of her old self. Either way he swam close to her, nearly touching and she quickly calmed her laughing down. She didn't know what he was doing but she didn't care…she was having fun. And she thought that wasn't possible anymore. A sweet smile graced her lips and for him that decided it. He didn't know what came over him as he brought his hand up to brush her cheek and hold her neck. Without warning his lips crashed into hers as he pulled her closer. Hermione's eyes widened as this happened so unexpectedly and she tried hard to remain where she was. His lips were not gentle, there was a need behind them neither one could place and they forced hers into action. Because surprisingly enough she was kissing him back, her hand reaching up to grip his arm as his other arm snaked tightly around her waist. His body met hers and it was like fire and ice coming together as one, his passion threatening to drown her. But she wanted to drown. It was ferocious and dark, his teeth grazed her bottom lip and her knees buckled. She didn't understand why she wasn't being forced back to that night on the bathroom floor. Instead it was only her and Draco. Her and Draco kissing passionately. And as quickly as it had begun, it had ended. He pulled back quickly from her, his lips, hands, body gone suddenly and she felt cold, even in the warmth of the water. She felt as if she would sink under without him there to hold her up. But the look in his eyes was bewilderment, anger, almost fear. And she didn't understand. He turned suddenly then and took off quickly towards the shore, practically running into the house.

"Draco!" She called after him, hoping it would make him stop but it didn't. Instead she stood there for a moment, nearly frozen to the spot as she reached up to touch her lips which were tingling at their recent use. And the swooping feeling in her stomach was too powerful to deny. She had to follow him. She needed answers. There would be no more running.

* * *

"Go away Mudblood." Draco muttered as he heard her enter the house after him. He had found his wand and was drying himself off when she had burst in, dripping wet and determined, and this was the last conversation he wanted to have.

"Oh so we're back to Mudblood now?" Hermione placed her hands on her hips and he found himself unable to look at her, "You can't simply kiss me and then run away."

"Well I did, didn't I Granger? It was a lapse in judgment. A mistake." He accentuated the last statement and Hermione was slightly defeated by it. Maybe it really was a mistake…she was damaged goods after all. And what he'd seen of her was hardly desirable. He saw he pause in question of what he said, and he did feel bad, but not bad enough to further break into what he was truly feeling.

"You think that you're still the same person who tried to kill Dumbledore don't you? The same person who believed in that mark on your arm….but you're not. We're both different. We changed the day you found me in that bathroom. I don't understand why you're fighting who you are now…you're such a better person, can't you see that?" She was determined to have him understand, but the blank, stoic look on his face betrayed nothing.

"I see a broken girl who's only ally in the world is a Death Eater who treats her like shit, that's what I see."

"You're pathetic….I hope you know that," Hermione spat the words, getting angrier with everything he said, "And you kissed me, you can't deny that. It was no accident either. You meant it." The firmness of her last statement silenced him for a moment. Because he knew he had meant it. He had wanted it more than he'd like to admit.

"Can't blame me for being a bloke wanting to get some action. I have needs. And lately all I've been doing is taking care of you. Merlin knows why…it's you who's pathetic. Dragging me down with you…I have a life too Granger. Kissing you only proves I'm getting soft. I could never betray my family like that again." He didn't know why he was trying to hurt her, but he knew it was working. The look in her eyes betrayed the bravery she was trying to keep in her face.

"I never asked for you to take care of me. I never asked for you to help me that day…I told you to go away and you didn't listen. All of this is your fault. You're still a scared little boy who cares too much about what people think of him to live the way he wants. And now you're blaming me for the messes you've made!" She yelled back at him, bringing her hand up to hold her head in frustration. She wanted to hit him, scream at him, do something. The fact that he said he only kissed her because he wanted some 'action' nearly broke her down.

"My fault is it? I wasn't the one who let myself get raped!" He practically shouted the words at her and regretted it the moment the words let his lips. Hermione let out a small gasp and covered her mouth with her hand. Impossible. She backed away slowly from him, in complete disbelief he could ever say that to her, "I….I didn't…" He stuttered but she didn't wait for anything else. She turned quickly and ran up to her room. Draco Malfoy had really gone too far this time. Much too far.

* * *

Hermione had stayed in her room the rest of the night. She couldn't bring herself to see him again. Yes she had cried, but instead of dwelling on everything and making her situation worse she had found a book to read and fell asleep while reading it. It was late when Draco ascended her stairs and quietly entered the room. He'd spent the last few hours thinking about everything. He thought about the mission he was supposed to be doing, and he figured that played a part in why he tried to push her away. But he knew the real reason. And he knew he had to apologize. For a moment he watched her asleep, even then she looked like something might be troubling her in her dreams, "Grang…" He began to say but thought better of it, "Hermione…" He said her name slightly and she woke up, still very sleepy and looked at him somewhat curiously, "I'm sorry." He nearly choked out the words. Malfoy's never apologize…and the fact that he was made her pull open her blankets for him.

"It hurt….everything you said…" Her voice was sleepy but as he moved into bed he knew she was awake now. He moved close to her and slipped his arm around her, her eyes closing as he did.

"I know…I just…I didn't want you flashing back to that night when I kissed you." At these words her eyes opened, the truth finally revealed. He wanted to look away but her gaze kept him transfixed. Her hand moved up to touch his cheek, sincerity in her gaze.

"I didn't." At this he turned his head to touch his lips to her palm and they moved closer, his arms wrapping protectively around her and they both were able to find sleep.

* * *

_Soon Draco….soon….I grow impatient….do not disappoint me…_Draco shot up in bed as these words echoed in his head. He had a dreamless night but still his father had contacted him, making sure all was going as planned. He had chills all over his body at the thought of it. He tried to control his breathing as he glanced down at Hermione who was curled up close to him and he moved back down to hold her. Her eyes slowed opened and a small smile graced her lips. Merlin, what was he playing at?

"Good morning," She said softly and his face remained stoic in thought. She sighed softly as she watched him. He brought his hand up to cup her cheek and simply stare into her eyes, "What is it we have exactly?" The inevitable question. She wanted to know if this meant anything and he wanted to leave this all nameless. It was complicated enough. He moved his hand and sat up, swinging his feet over to touch the ground.

"An understanding." He said coldly as he went to stand up but her hand reached out and touched his shoulder. He froze at the soft, warm touch and turned back to meet her eyes.

"And what about when we go back to school? What happens then?" She tilted her head curiously and he turned back to move over her, her breath catching in her throat as he did. The smallest of smirks graced his lips.

"In public, it'll be as if nothing changed. We'll be enemies. But when we're alone…." He didn't dare finish his sentence because he wasn't even sure what he would say. Instead her hand came up to touch his chest, silently agreeing, and he brushed his lips across her jaw, causing her heart to race before he stood up and headed for her door, "Come down for breakfast." He said quickly before leaving her alone. Hermione laid back on her bed, his scent still surrounding her, and she didn't know what to make of any of it. But she did know one thing: Draco's affection didn't ruin her, it saved her if anything. And she didn't want to let that go. Not for anything.

**Woo! They finally kissed. =D**


	7. Devils Descend

**AN: I am beyond sorry for taking so long...hopefully this longer chapter will kind of make up for it. I actually was considering not finishing this story but I decided that it had to be done, and it will be finished before my summer break. School has been really crazy, but I'll try my best to be better about updating. Read, review, and of course enjoy.**

**And to qiana- I really appreciate your review, I tried my best to make this story as accurate as possible and still something worth reading. I know the pace of her recovering is fast...that's something I've been battling with. I'm trying to portray Draco as one of the only people with whom physical contact isn't too hard. She does really have feelings for him. But also I want there to be a shift in their personalities soon. She'll get stronger and he'll end up in trouble. I feel like this chapter is a step in that direction. Aw well, hope you enjoy. =)**

_How far we've gone, how far we're going. It's the here and the now and the love for the sound of the moments that keep us moving...Tomorrow she's gone, and if not, someday, somehow. Are these hands a waste? Well this side of mortality is scaring me to death. Don't think about it at all, just keep your head low...Soldier on, soldier on. Keep your heart close to the ground. -Soldier On_

Time passed, even when it seemed as if it never would again. Hermione spent a few days alone with Draco at his family's house in Wales and it was as if some of the massive weight that sat on her shoulders was lifted. He respected her space and she was able to finally find some peace. Not much had changed between them since the day when he had pressed his lips to hers, but it was enough for some of the tension to finally have been resolved. For Draco, he knew he was beyond reconciliation. Soon he would be breaking his father out of Azkaban but he was now bound to protect this girl with every fiber of his being. But he was used to being torn, that had always been his life. And waking up beside her never helped.

Now as Monday morning came, Draco and Hermione awoke early and Apparated back outside of Hogwarts. For a moment she simply stood and stared up at the castle and all at once the events of last week flooded back into her mind, and she found it hard to breathe. But Draco saw the fear growing in her gaze and he took her hand, squeezing it gently, "You're stronger than this Granger. You need to get back into your life sooner or later." Grey met brown and she nodded slightly.

"I know….I've faced the most evil wizard in the world and I can't even handle this…Pathetic, I know." Silent tears fell down her cheeks but before she could wipe them away herself, his thumbs came up to brush them away, his face the perfect mask as always.

"Not pathetic…human. But you can't keep hiding forever." She didn't need to respond, they both knew he was right. Taking a deep breath she led him forward towards the castle. At the first sight of another person, Draco's hand dropped hers, and Hermione did her best to act as if she didn't mind. But the worst part was that she did, even though she agreed their relationship had to stay a secret. Silently they walked back to their Common Room and as the portrait swung open Hermione's eyes went to the table and saw all of her books and school supplies neatly laid out, "I had the house elves move all of your things into my room. I'll sleep on the couch if necessary." Neither of them wanted to say aloud that they couldn't bring themselves to go back into that room, if not yet, maybe not ever. Hermione walked over to the couch where her robes had been laid out and slipped them on over her clothes.

"I hope you were at least civil towards them…" She mumbled this under her breath, trying to grasp some piece of normalcy and Draco couldn't help but smile slightly at the comment. While Hermione adjusted her Prefect's badge, he went quickly upstairs to gather his things before meeting her back in the Common Room. Her eyes locked to the door, knowing that it was indeed time for her to re-enter the world.

"You can do this Granger…" At the sound of his voice Hermione turned to meet his intense gaze, "Whatever would Hogwarts be without a student like you? Who would I compete with?" He stepped closer to her, a small smile on his lips as he did.

"I suppose I can't let you gain the upper hand academically now can I?" She tried to smile but it was somewhat forced. Soon she'd be stepping back out and once more she would have to pretend that she was perfectly fine. But could she do that again if she didn't believe it herself? Draco saw this doubt and his hand came up to lift her chin, their eyes locking once more.

"Anyone gives you shit, you come to me alright?"

"I will." Hermione responded truthfully, knowing he would watch out for her even if they would be pretending to hate each other. At these words he leaned in slowly and lightly pressed his lips to hers. He only lingered a moment before tucking a curl behind her ear and moving to open the door for her. She had to catch her breath for a moment, not to compose herself, but rather recover from the sudden touch of his lips, brief as it was. And with that they both exited the Common Room, taking off in different directions to head to their first class as not to raise suspicion, but Draco's eyes lingered on her as she vanished around the corner.

* * *

"She doesn't look very sick…"

"I heard she wasn't even sick at all….she had some sort of meltdown and just skipped class for a week…"

"Draco Malfoy hasn't been around either…maybe he did something to her?" Voices, all encircling her as she headed down to the third floor, everyone was gathering in the halls to walk for class. She didn't want to listen but it seemed as if her ears couldn't help but hear them talking about her. She took deep breaths and hoped she wouldn't see any of her friends just yet, she still needed a bit of practice at composure. She wanted to yell at everyone who said something but she remained the perfect face of calm, Draco had taught her well.

"Well I heard Ron Weasley got her pregnant…" And those simple words were too much. A flood of memory engulfed her, she could've sat down right in the hall and never gotten up again. But right at that moment someone lightly shoved into her from behind. She turned quickly to see who could've been so rude as not to apologize and she met a pair of gray eyes. Eyes that made her heartbeat faster.

"Can't you even walk two feet without blundering into someone Granger?" His voice was sharp but the look in his eyes betrayed him entirely. The old Hermione would have thought he hated her again, or maybe was too ashamed to even pretend they were slightly friends. But she knew what he was doing. He was helping her again, he was giving her some strength back.

"Me blunder into someone? It's you who refuses to leave me alone Malfoy…maybe if you would simply apologize we could both get on with our lives and go to class?" Oh she had become so good at pretending. And by now everyone was watching the Head Boy and Girl go at it for the millionth time. Suspicion for what had really happened to her died down slightly, this was all much more interesting and still normal to make anyone think otherwise.

"Malfoy's don't apologize to know-it-all Muggleborns." He wouldn't call her a Mudblood, not again. Even in this little game they were now playing with everyone he wouldn't dare.

"Well then why would I apologize to an annoying blonde ferret!" She knew he wouldn't like being called a 'ferret' but she just let it out anyway, "You can't even muster some compassionate after I was sick for a week? And the rest of you can all move along, you have classes to attend I'm sure!" At these words everyone began to whisper again but all began to continue walking to class. Draco stepped closer and his hand brushed hers as if saying he was sorry and she nodded to return it. They knew it wasn't a real fight, it was for show, and it only proved how far they had come. Hermione smiled slightly at him before slipping into her class, already feeling better. Draco however looked over back down the hallway just in time to watch Pansy Parkinson exit an open classroom, a smirk on her lips. A few seconds later Ron Weasley exited, his eyes glancing around for a second before disappearing in the other direction. Draco followed quickly after Pansy, anger building in him as he remembered the night when Hermione had heard them together in a broom closet. He was getting to the bottom of this, once and for all.

"Parkinson!" Draco called after her and Pansy turned, a small smile on her lips as she did. Gracefully she crossed her arms and walked over to him.

"Good to see you're still among the living Draco, all us Slytherins were beginning to worry."

"I'm not in the mood for your little quips this morning…but I would like to know why you've been fucking Weasley in every empty room in this whole school." The statement made her smile vanish, but Pansy was not going to let him see her weakness. She was a Pureblood Slytherin after all, and she knew that she could never be weak.

"I could ask the same about you and Granger." There was the nerve, the worst retort she could throw. She was good at reading these things, she always had been, and Draco silently cursed their friendship in that moment.

"I know you've been fooling around with him…."

"And why exactly do you suddenly seem to care who I'm 'fooling' around with? You haven't seemed to acknowledge any type of relationship between us in over a year."

"That's because there is none," His words were icy but she had built up defenses against the pain he could dish out years ago. He regretted following her now because they both wanted answers neither one were willing to give, "I just wasn't aware you had a taste for blood traitors now, especially Gryffindors."

"Says the Pureblood who keeps himself locked up with the Gryffindor Mudblood." Draco wanted to make her eat the words she said but he had to be careful, he knew his temper often got the best of him but it was now more than ever he had to keep it in check. Pansy could sense him holding back, but she couldn't blame them. Admitting what they were both trying to hide was considered blasphemous in the eyes of their families.

"All I'm saying is you need to be more careful…and I didn't know you were this cruel Pans…stringing the poor weasel along just until you get bored. You know he would never think otherwise." A flash in Pansy's eyes at his words made him examine her closer, interested in what she would try and smartly say back now.

"We were friends once Draco, do you remember that?" The look in her eyes softened as she spoke, even her tone wasn't as sharp. But the question still surprised him.

"Of course I do…"

"The Dark Lord was always there but he wasn't really there…we were only children," She turned then and took a few steps away from him before turning back, a slight pained look in her eyes, "There was this great purpose we were supposed to fulfill but we never knew it would actually happen…But then suddenly one day you stopped smiling…He came back to power, my father joined back up, Hogwarts wasn't safe….and then Crabbe was killed. When did we all get so lost Draco?" Her eyes bore into his but he couldn't answer.

"I don't know…"

"We may have been rotten little gits but at least we were happy. We were all friends. But we chose the wrong side…even though we had no choice." Pansy reached out to brush her fingertips against his cheek. He closed his eyes at the touch, he regretted this. He hated being reminded of all the wrong choices he made, the mistakes, because he would only be making them again, "Can we be friends again Draco? Can I trust you again?"

"You can Pansy." He said the words softly, and he didn't expect her to believe him, after all he was awful to her every chance he got. But something truthful in his eyes must have given him away because she let out a sigh of relief.

"I'm not simply shagging him….not anymore," Pansy's voice was soft, and her eyes were dry, she would never cry so easily. But this was clearly tearing her up inside and he could understand completely, "I think I'm falling in love with Weasley."

"Always like to have things complicated don't you?" Draco crossed his arms and tilted his head slightly to meet her eyes, a small, ghost of a smile on his lips, "You'll have to come clean to him sometime. But it's better now than six months ago." Pansy looked into his eyes and a small smile crossed her lips as well.

"Could you thank Granger for me next time you see her?"

"What for?" Draco asked curiously, his brows furrowing slightly.

"For bringing you back to life." And with that Pansy turned and walked quickly down the hallway, leaving Draco to think on their conversation. She had needed to let her secret out, to tell a friend, and he was it. But he still held so many inside of himself. And he knew that he would be fulfilling a promise very soon. His eyes shut for a moment and a voice called out to him suddenly, clear as day…_The time has come my son. This weekend…I will be waiting…._Draco's eyes opened and he knew it was truth. His father had called. And it really was time. There could be no more looking back. Strong as he may be, the one most powerful weakness still held…the love a son has for his father.

* * *

Surprisingly, Hermione found that the day flew by. It felt better to finally be back in a classroom and learning. For the last few months she had focused so intently on staying trapped in her own dark memories and the last few weeks had been especially hard. But moving on was important, healing even if it was only a little, and Draco being there helped. In every class they had together he was either beside her or near, his eyes always finding a moment to catch hers. She wasn't looking forward to lunch but she knew she had to go…and when she entered the Great Hall there were plenty of eyes on her. She took a deep breath as someone's hand lightly touched the small of her back. She turned her head slightly to watch as Draco moved from behind her to sit at the Slytherin table. With that little boost of encouragement, Hermione went over to the Gryffindor table and sat next to Ginny.

"Merlin it's good to see you Hermione!" Ginny said with a grin as her eyes glanced over at Harry who sat across from them. Ron was nowhere in sight and Hermione was silently grateful for that.

"It's good to see you as well Ginny…and Harry I…" Hermione began to form some sort of apology for being so short with Harry last time they spoke but her interrupted her.

"No need to apologize Hermione, I was a git for getting on your case. I'm just glad to see you're ok. We tried to go see you last week but we couldn't get in your Common Room. You sure you're alright?" His emerald eyes were filled with concern as he asked and Hermione almost couldn't look at him.

"I will be. It's complicated…I'll explain everything some other time, I promise," At her words both Ginny and Harry exchanged curious looks, both had a feeling that the story of her illness wasn't all that was going on, but Hermione quickly changed the subject, "Why isn't Ron with you?"

"Now there's a good question. He barely eats with us anymore. And if he does he'll come here, stuff his face, and disappear again. I never thought I'd see the day when my brother would deny himself food. We…well we sort of thought he might be with you?" Ginny asked the last part cautiously, unsure if that could really be the case or she was simply reopening freshly closed wounds.

"No…I haven't seen him. But I haven't exactly been seeking him out either." As she said this, Harry offered her a small, reassuring smile.

"I keep asking him what's going on when we're about to go to bed but he won't say anything. He'll get all red and avoid the question….then he usually starts going on about Quidditch. But…" Harry began to say, but a warning glare from Ginny stopped him.

"But…what exactly?"

"Well….and this could be bullocks, but I've been watching him on the map…and he's been spending loads of time with Pansy Parkinson. I asked him about that too and he says they're partners on some project or something." As Harry said this, Hermione knew where Ron had been all those times, and she knew that they both knew the truth as well. Except they didn't want to admit it. And if Harry had been keeping an eye on Ron then he was inevitably keeping an eye on her…and she was sure he knew how close she'd been with Draco as well.

"I'm sure he'll come around. Give it some time Harry. Besides, he's awful at keeping things from you." Hermione smiled slightly at her friend, only then realizing that she had been slightly selfish in the last few months with her own distance. Yes she had been to hell and back, but her friends had been lost as well…She could see the ghost of that final battle still lingering in Harry's eyes, and the memory of Fred within Ginny's. Maybe she needed them closer than she thought.

* * *

"Why do you have to go?" Hermione's voice called to Draco as he straightened his tie in the bathroom mirror. The week had flown by for both of them. Hermione was feeling better…she had started eating more and she was trying to talk with Harry and Ginny more often. Also school work helped keep her mind on other things. Draco however wished the week never had to end. And of course it was over faster than he could ever have imagined. Friday night was here…and he would have to go and get his father.

"Some business at the Manor. I'm selling a few artifacts and dealing with some legal matters…boring really. Plus it'll be good if you try and stay here. I won't be gone long." As he said this he walked back into the Common Room, his face the perfect mask of calm as always. He forced a small smile on his lips. Him, the Death Eater, the traitor. This girl trusted him with her life and he was about to break his father out of Azkaban. He even had a flask of Polyjuice potion sitting in his pocket.

"Alright, alright. I won't bug you…" Hermione smiled slightly and walked slowly over to him. He remained still, statuesque, as she reached out a hand to cup his cheek, "But I'll miss you." For some reason, Draco found these words terrifying. Hermione Granger would miss him. She even felt the power of these words as her face flushed scarlet. He moved away from her hand, unable to even meet her eyes as the deed he was about to do consumed him.

"I'll see you later Granger." And with that Draco turned from her, not even a chaste kiss to say farewell, and left the Common Room. Hermione simply stood there and watched him leave, unsure about what to think of it all.

Draco knew that time was of the essence now, and what needed to be done had to happen now. He'd been to Azkaban a few times in the past when his father had first been imprisoned, and from what he remembered, he knew this was no easy task. He was unsure how many wizards would be working in the front at the visitor's station, but hopefully not many. He needed to keep his wand and he hoped a bribe would do it. At the edge of Hogsmeade, Draco Disapparated from the grounds of Hogwarts and seconds later appeared at the dismal, black-stone fortress that was Azkaban. Shivers ran through him as he gazed upon it, the place of nightmares. A place where he might soon be if this didn't work. His thoughts went to Hermione, the only person alive who he truly cared about and who shared those feelings in return. What would she say if he disappeared and she read the Prophet days later only to find out what he had done? No…he had to succeed. Malfoy's could never fail. He had done that enough. At the gates he was allowed in and went straight inside, not daring meet anyone's eyes directly or be in the path of a Dementor. His face was stoic.

"Visiting?" The older wizard at the front desk asked him as he walked in. A barred door lay behind him, leading to the prisoners. Draco felt cold, empty…he knew this place could drain you, but he kept his composure.

"Yes I'd like to see Lucius Malfoy." At the sound of the name, the wizard looked into Draco's eyes curiously and nodded slightly as he realized who he was dealing with.

"He hasn't had visitor's in some time…why the sudden interest?" The wizard asked this in an almost dangerous tone, Draco knew what precautions they had to take. But he had come up with enough responses to please whatever questions they may ask.

"I've been assigned to work with Hermione Granger in helping the Ministry gather information in catching the liberated Death Eaters. They require information from my father. And he won't simply give such information to anyone. I'm no longer loyal to those causes," Draco lifted his sleeve to show the burnt, scarred remains of what he had done to his Dark Mark. He didn't want to tell this man everything, normally he would rudely reply, but this was no time for insults, "I believe that is evidence enough."

"I still need to confiscate your wand until the visit is concluded Mr. Malfoy." The man's eyes had widened at seeing the Mark, but his response was the last thing Draco wanted.

"You really expect me to face that man defenseless? I think you gravely underestimate him."

"You'll have a wizard guard as an escort….but I'll need your wand." The wizard held out his hand and Draco swore internally. Nothing could ever be simple could it? Instead of pulling out a wand from his jacket pocket, he pulled out a check book. He quickly wrote out a check for 5,000 galleons with the quill sitting on the man's desk. His eyes went to the check and they instantly widened.

"This is hardly my best offer…all you need to do is give me your name, take this check, and allow me to see my father with my wand. I'll also make sure you are rightly compensated by the Ministry for doing such an impeccable job as an Azkaban guard." Draco spoke fluidly, persuasively, another skill he had learned to master. The man simply looked at him for a moment before speaking again.

"Boris…Boris Miggens," Draco smiled slightly as he said his name and wrote it elegantly on the check as he then signed his name and handed it over, "Go through the door and a guard will take you down." The wizard quickly shoved the check into his robes pocket and waved his wand as the bars disappeared.

"Many thanks," Draco muttered before walking through the doorway and down the cold hallway to where a guard stood waiting, "Lucius Malfoy." He spoke his father's name and didn't dare say anymore to the man leading him further into the dark prison. He knew what this man's fate would be, and he couldn't help but feel remorse. They finally stopped in front of cell and Draco knew his father waited inside. The guard unlocked the first stone door and they both stepped inside. Draco knew this place…from his darkest dreams. And just like then his father sat in the shadows on his bed, the small window barely letting light shine in.

"Father…." Draco's voice called out and the figure sitting stood up, his white hair longer than ever, and came up to the bars. His grey eyes met their twin in a silent conversation.

"It has been quite a long time my son…" Lucius spoke directly and the Guard watched on from the corner. _Now…._Lucius's voice hissed in Draco's head and he nodded slightly. With that Draco reached up to slide his wand from inside his jacket, his back to the guard, and swiftly turned around to point it at the man. He didn't even wait a moment, there was no room for error.

"Stupefy!" Draco called out and the man fell. Quickly then Draco grabbed his wand and handed it through the bars to his father. Lucius said a spell which magically unlocked the barred door.

"The potion, where is the potion!" Lucius said sharply and Draco pulled the flask of Polyjuice Potion from his pocket and handed it to him. He wasn't sure what he should do, so he summoned a glass and gave it to his father to pour half the potion in. Lucius took a piece of hair from him and the guard and put one into the glass and one into the flask as Draco dragged the man into his father's cell, "You bribed the wizard at the front desk, correct? He knows you have come to see me?"

"Yes father…" Draco said back obediently as Lucius handed him the glass. He put it to the lips of the unconscious man and forced it down his throat. He was able to choke it down but he would be waking up soon, especially now as his body began to change.

"I will take care of that," Lucius said as he drank down the contents of the flask and began to change and shift into the form of the guard who had now completely changed into a perfect copy of Lucius Malfoy. He had begun to stir as Draco stepped out of the cell and shut the door behind him, locking it shut and then making the glass disappear.

"What…what's going…" He began to say in a somewhat groggy state, but Lucius didn't even allow him to finish.

"Confundus!" He growled as he gripped Draco's arm and they shut the stone door behind them. Lucius looked back in through a small rectangular window and saw the utterly confused look in the man's eyes….the spell had worked. And it would most likely remain permanent, "We need to leave now." And with those words, Draco lead his father back out through the maze of hallways, avoiding anyone they saw. Once they reached the front desk where Boris sat, Draco nodded to him, he opened the bars once again and Draco went to walk out the door.

"Hullo James, how's…" Boris began to say but Draco didn't want to watch. He simply walked out into the night which had enveloped the land. He knew Boris's memory was being erased and the check he wrote being destroyed…and it didn't take long for his father to appear disguised at his side.

"Apparate, before they see…do it now," Lucius whispered harshly in Draco's ear as he glanced around. At his father's words Draco vanished from sight and appeared in the foyer of the Malfoy Manor. Only a minute or so passed before his father was there as well, "Accio wand," With those words, Lucius's own wand flew from wherever it had been hidden in the house and back into his hands. Immediately he began to replace all the charms on the Manor to protect it. Finally he pulled up his left sleeve, pointed his wand at the Dark Mark, and the snake began to move. Agony erupted across Draco's forearm but he simply clenched his fist, trying not to shake as blood began to drip down to his knuckles, "Inform the house elves I'll be in need of their services. I'll need to clean up before our guests begin to arrive. Also make sure the rooms are ready."

"I'll tell them father." A drop of blood hit the marble floor and this was not unnoticed by Lucius who swiftly grabbed Draco firmly by the forearm, he fought everything not to cry out in pain. Lucius's steely eyes were on him with fury in their depths.

"This is an embarrassment to our cause. Clean this up before any of the other's see." He released Draco's arm and the blood had begun to soak through. He needed to bandage it, and quickly. Lucius disappeared upstairs to clean up his appearance. And Draco went to his own room for a moment's peace before everything would go up in flames.

* * *

Draco found himself sitting once more at his dining room table, dark, familiar faces surrounding it. The chair at the head was left empty, a symbolic gesture for the man who had last inhabited it. He sat beside his father, a handful of other people with them. Rookwood. Yaxley. Rowle. Rastaban Lestrange. Carrow. Selwynn. Avery. All had escaped capture and vanished into the world. But now they had been summoned. They too wanted redemption. They wanted revenge on who had taken away their lives.

"Welcome once more to my home brothers…you must know why I have gathered you all here. Now, out of Azkaban, we can finally destroy those who have wronged us….who have taken away those we held so very dear to us and our bloodline. Those who took away our Lord," Lucius glanced around the table as he spoke, meeting the eyes of everyone, "It is time we took revenge on Harry Potter," At these words cheers and growls of agreement were heard around the table, "And Draco will bring him and his friends right to us." Lucius grabbed Draco's shoulder and he found himself having trouble breathing.

"Him? He couldn't even kill Dumbledore…" It was Yaxley who spoke and Lucius shot him a dangerous glare.

"That kind of error will not happen again. The Ministry allowed him to return to school. He can take one of Potter's friends and lead them right into the Forest where we will be waiting to finally take the life of the Boy Who Lived," Lucius spat the name and the Death Eaters all laughed, "He will be none the wiser," Draco was trying his best not to think of Hermione…especially not to think that the man who raped her may in fact be sitting at this table with him. He wish he knew…he wished he could just be brave for once in his life and face whoever did it. She wouldn't have to be scared anymore. And maybe then he could save her from all of this that was being planned. As his thoughts became consumed by her, he suddenly found all eyes on him, "Do you have feelings for the Mudblood filth?" Anger was rising behind his father's eyes. Draco had slipped with his thoughts just enough to let his father glimpse inside, and she was always there now. He reblocked his mind, and quickly.

"No…of course not. She disgusts me."

"Then you will have no problem taking her life." And with those words Draco felt his stomach drop. He wanted to disappear then, he wanted to run. He couldn't though, not now, he had brought this on himself. And with his thoughts paralyzed, he forced a dark grin to cross his lips.

"Of course not father."

* * *

As Sunday night rolled around, Hermione found herself thinking about Draco. She had gone to dinner and once more observed that neither Ron nor Pansy was present. Maybe she was helping him move on…either way she couldn't be mad at him, she didn't have the right. She made a mental note to mention it to Draco when he returned as she walked back from dinner. When she entered the Common Room however, she saw Draco sitting by the fire, his eyes dark, his face blank as he stared into the depths. But his mind was in panic right now. He knew after the events of this weekend what had to be done. He would have to re-break Hermione Granger.

"Hey, have a good weekend?" She asked innocently as she walked over to sit beside him. When she sat down he stood up and turned away from her. He didn't want this to be hard, but it was fate that it had to be. He should've stopped all of this when he had the chance. Now he would have to watch her die, one way or another, and it would be so much harder, "Are you alright?" She stood up again and walked over to him, lightly placing her hand on his shoulder. She was worried…she could tell when something was off with him, reading him had become one of her hobbies.

"Whatever this is, it ends here." His voice was dark, distant, a hint of anger in the depths. He couldn't even bare to look at her. But it wanted it to be cruel enough to keep her away. Her hand moved back and he wanted to run again. Finally he looked at her once he knew the indifference and sincerity had entered his gaze.

"You can't be serious…what happened this weekend?" Hermione knew the answers lie in whatever happened to him at the Manor. He couldn't just say that to her without reason…he may have been that heartless once, but he wasn't now. He couldn't be, not after everything.

"Find somewhere else to sleep. And stay the fuck away from me." With these words Draco turned away from her and walked back upstairs to his room, slamming the door shut.

"Draco!" Hermione called his name but he didn't listen. She knocked on his door but he didn't answer. Anything she did he wouldn't talk to her, she couldn't get to him. And without warning her only salvation had been stripped from her. She felt small, vulnerable, like she was lying on that bathroom floor again. And so she let the tears fall from her eyes and she curled up on the floor in front of the fire. What she didn't know was that he lay in front of the fire in his room, his own eyes filled with tears he refused to let fall. He knew he had to avoid her, he could never be near her….he couldn't save her. In the end he would only lose her and he wanted to save them both from more pain.

* * *

As the days passed, Hermione felt empty. She barely ever saw Draco. The day after his outburst, she found all of her things put in the Common Room. Even in classes he made sure to never sit near her, he wouldn't even look at her. And night after night she slept on the floor, it felt better than pretending she wanted to be comfortable. She wanted him…even a glance would have given her some hope. And now, nearing the end of her rope, she knew she needed to confide in someone and tell them everything. Harry was out of the question…she wasn't ready for another male knowing her situation, no matter how close they were. Ron would never do…and so she went to her closest girl friend, with whom she had been through nearly everything with. She met up with Ginny Weasley in an old classroom on the 5th floor, and she found herself unable to stop shaking.

"You seemed better at lunch last week…what happened between then and now Hermione?" Ginny asked as Hermione entered and she shut and locked the door. She took a deep breath as she sat across from her friend.

"I'm going to tell you everything, but right now I need you to just listen. Ok Gin?" Ginny nodded at Hermione's request and slowly she began to tell the story that only Draco knew. The story of her on the bathroom floor, him saving her, about Ron, about her pregnancy and loss of it. Everything. Even about her and Draco's odd relationship. Ginny was always strong but tears still filled her eyes. Hermione forced herself to tell it all, and it helped in a way…but it was still impossibly hard, "And now he won't even look at me…I don't know what happened…but I need him Ginny. I can't do this without him." And there it was, all her truths said aloud. The red-head reached out and took Hermione's hand, there was so much she wanted to say but couldn't, and Hermione understood. Ginny now knew why Hermione had acted so strange…everything fit. Shocked as she was she knew one thing was definite, Draco would be her only salvation. And so Ginny spoke the words that needed to be said.

"Then you need to drag out the good inside of Draco Malfoy." And Hermione would find a way, she had to. They couldn't let themselves slip into darkness again.

* * *

He couldn't bare it. Not a single moment of it. There she was, always there, always stealing glances at him. But she was so very far away. Such a deep sadness resided in her eyes that it could've swallowed him whole. She would fade back into ruin and then he would watch the light vanish again from her eyes. Eyes that he had brought back to life. And every night he snuck downstairs to watch her sleep on the floor by the fire, just like he did in his room. He hated this. He hated himself for doing this to her. One night, nearly a week and a half after banishing her from his life, he found her asleep again. Tears stained her cheeks and he felt like a monster. What could he do? Was he being selfish or smart? He didn't know…he wanted this pain to end. He wanted to protect her again, he had promised hadn't he? And with all these thoughts in his head, he picked her up into his arms and began to head towards his room.

Hermione's amber eyes opened suddenly at the feeling of being carried. She looked up at the blank face of Draco Malfoy carrying her up the stairs and into his room. Her brows furrowed slightly, was she dreaming? The room was dark but she could tell things were in a state of chaos, and his eyes were fighting the emotion threatening to spill over into them. She wanted to touch him, do something, but she was worried…she didn't know what this all meant. He laid her down on his bed and moved over her for a moment, their eyes meeting. His were dark, empty…but hers were wide and somewhat confused. Her heartbeat could have consumed them both.

"This is nothing. You mean nothing to me." At these words he stared at her for a moment longer before slipping into bed beside her, covering them with the blanket as he did. She moved on her side and he moved in against her, wrapping an arm around her and burying his face in her curls. Hermione's eyes shut in relief, but there was still anger and confusion in her chest at everything, what did this all mean?

"Have you convinced yourself of that yet?" She spoke almost bitterly but he didn't let go. And for that she was thankful. She wanted to drown in his embrace and he hers. After a deafening silence they both found much needed sleep. Yet Draco was worried about what would happen come morning. And Hermione only hoped that she would able to find some answers in the light of a new day. But for now they slept, finding much needed condolence in each other's arms.

**AN: I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter...I like it, but I don't know...things are getting pretty intense now though I'd say. And it doesn't stop here. Hope you all enjoyed, and once again, sorry for disappearing.**


	8. Untold Secrets

**AN: Once again I am extremely sorry if anyone is actually still reading this story out there, but the end is in sight. Plus I'm home for the summer so I'll be writing this non-stop. And I have a great oneshot waiting in the wings. This chapter is longer so I hope that makes up for me not updating in awhile. Once again, I'm super sorry! Please read, review, and enjoy...it's your feedback that makes me feel good keeping this up. I was going to stop, but I think (especially after this chapter) I need to finish. Enjoy!**

_We all have our horrors and demons to fight. But how can I win, when I'm paralyzed? They crawl up on my bed, wrap their fingers 'round my throat. Is this what I get for the choices that I made? God forgive me, for all my sins, God forgive me, for everything. Don't go, I can't do this on my own. Save me from the ones that haunt me in the night. I can't live with myself, so stay with me tonight. If I let you in, you'd just want out. If I tell you the truth, you'd vie for a lie. If I spilt my guts, it would make a mess we can't clean up. If you follow me, you will only get lost. If you try to get closer, we'll only lose touch. Yet, you already know too much, and you're not going anywhere. Tell me that you need me 'cause I love you so much. Tell me that you love me 'cause I need you so much. Say you'll never leave me 'cause I need you so much. -Don't Go_

As Hermione's eyes opened, she realized suddenly that she was still in Draco's arms. She wanted to protest. She wanted to yell at him. But she found herself feeling better than she had in days. The emptiness was being pushed back and she felt more like herself. She moved closer to him and buried her head in his chest, his arms tightening around her, "You're a horrible bastard, and I hope you realize that." She mumbled the words against him but she knew he heard.

"I do," His voice was soft as he brought up a hand to smooth her wild curls. He didn't understand any of this either. He was ruining his own plan to protect himself. It was easy…distance himself to make this easier for the both of them in the end. But he was weak, he was always too weak… "I don't think we can keep doing this Granger." His voice was soft, but still guarded. And it was these words that made a fire grow in Hermione's chest. She swiftly moved up to press her hands against his chest and stare into his ice-cold eyes. But there was something there, hiding beneath, and she wanted to bring it out.

"Stop. Just stop. Can't you make up your mind as to what you want? I'm not some object that you can use whenever…" Her own words were too much for her to bear. Her eyes widened slightly, her breathing increased. Draco moved his hands to gently cup her cheeks and keep her eyes locked to his.

"You are not an object. You're stronger than that now and you know it…" At his words Hermione took a deep breath and sat up in bed, her eyes still watching him carefully as he sat up on his elbows.

"What happened when you were back home?" Hermione was no fool. After the weekend he had gone away home that was when he had suddenly changed. She knew it was all connected somehow, and Draco knew that she wouldn't let it go. She was too smart and determined for that.

"Nothing of importance." With these cold words he stood up and walked over to his window to gaze out at the grounds. She wanted to scream in frustration. Did everything have to be a game of cat and mouse?

"You can't keep shutting down on me Malfoy…not after everything. Is it how much I care about you that scares you? Or how much you care for me? Because I do…I care about you Draco and I want to help. Not because you saved me so many times, but because you aren't just my enemy, not anymore. You're fighting something too, I can see it in your eyes. Let me help…please." Draco listened to her plea and he was terrified to turn around and see the truth in her eyes, the tears shining there. Because he was scared…deathly scared. And for once he was able to admit to himself why. With that he turned around and their eyes met. Hers were so full of bravery…and his were simply lost. Because there, right then, Draco Malfoy realized just how much he cared for this girl. More than he had ever felt for anyone else.

"Hermione…..I've made a huge mistake…." He knew this was his truth now. And he knew there was no turning back from here.

* * *

Once again Ron found himself in an old classroom, sneaking around behind the backs of all his friends with a girl who was supposed to be their enemy. Yet passion had found him again, he couldn't deny he wanted it. He wanted her. And they found themselves together more and more….passing secret notes and planning future meetings. It was beyond the need to distract each other, it was something more. Ron felt more than passion for this girl, and she felt the same. But words were not always exchanged, not in meetings like this. Now they were far apart, backs to either other, as Pansy pulled on her skirt and began to button up her shirt. She glanced over her shoulder at Ron's bare, muscular back as he pulled his shirt over his head, messing up his wild red hair. Pansy frowned…not even finishing buttoning up her shirt. Her heart was heavy and her mind was full.

"Ron?" She spoke his name and it seemed to affect both of them. She had never said it. He was always 'Weasley' and nothing more…she had been fighting her feelings for so long. He turned when she spoke and looked at her in somewhat surprise. He had been waiting for this. He had wanted to hear his name pass through her lips.

"Yeah Pansy?" He had spoken her name before, in times when it was right. And now it truly was. She stood and turned around, Ron's eyes went to hers and remained there, wanting to find answers within them. He hoped she wasn't going to end this. She had become such a big part of him since that night in the broom closet. And even though she masked her feelings he felt that she felt similar, or at least he hoped.

"What is this? That we're doing…." Her words were cautious, careful. She needed to know if this meant anything to him, but the subtle things he did proved it must. Brushing her hair behind her ear. Holding her hand when they had some time alone. She felt something more and it scared her. Admitting it to Draco had been hard enough.

"Um…" Ron was at a loss for words because he wasn't sure of the answer himself.

"If I wasn't a Slytherin….or a Pureblood on the wrong side…would things have been different?" At her words Ron felt himself walk over to her. She looked up into his green eyes with something deep and beautiful reflecting in hers. He couldn't help but wrap his arms around her and she was powerless to resist as her arms snaked around his waist.

"Maybe things can be different. I mean, we're here aren't we?" At this he pulled back slightly to grin down at her, and she smiled slightly back, "And I wasn't planning on going anywhere anytime soon."

"You weren't? But what about Granger…." Pansy still harbored jealousy for the girl even though she knew that she was currently occupied by Draco. Still Pansy couldn't forget what had brought her and Ron together. And lately she had been worried that she was merely standing in…that his heart still belonged to Hermione. Ron's brows furrowed at her statement.

"I only see one girl in front of me." The truth in Ron's eyes shone bright, and Pansy knew this. A sigh of relief left her lips and she rested her head against his chest for a silent, comforting moment.

"I care about you more than I should…." Pansy's voice was barely a whisper against Ron's chest but he heard it none the less. His arms pulled her closer and trapped her against him. Something that had once seemed so wrong was now perfectly right. And it felt right too. She had wanted this, unlike Hermione who had tried so hard to distance herself. This was fate.

"I think I'm falling in love with you Pansy." Ron's words were soft as he spoke them, but they resounded within the girl in his arms like nothing she had ever heard before. The Slytherin girl who was taught to be made of stone. Tears formed in her eyes but she refused to let them leave her eyes…she was a Parkinson after all. But no one had ever cared for her; no one had ever loved her. She knew lust and passion, but this was so much more.

"Ron…" She whispered his name and pulled on his shirt until their lips touched. This kiss was not one of need, or meant for pure passion. She wanted to show him that she felt the same. It was gentle and caring. A single tear fell from her eye and she couldn't stop it. But his lips found it and brushed it away before kissing her once more, "I don't want to hide anymore." Words whispered on her lips. He nodded…it was time to make this more than secret meetings. Their relationship had grown and they with it. And right then Ron decided he would tell Harry. He would tell everyone. He loved Pansy Parkinson and she loved him.

* * *

Harry had just returned from flying around the pitch with Ginny and as he entered the Common Room, Ron stood there as if he was waiting for him to arrive. Lately Harry had gotten used to the absence of his best friends. Hermione was always off doing something, or avoiding him because of his proximity to Ron who was also acting strange. Although strange hardly covered it. Other than class and at night, Harry barely saw Ron, and the fact that he skipped meals worried him. Something was going on, and it was time to confront it before it was too late, "Hey mate, do you have a minute to talk?"

"Actually I was waiting for you to come back, there's something I want to tell you." As Ron said this, there was no fear in his eyes, rather an excitement, a happiness almost and this eased Harry's worries. The redhead was still elated from his meeting with Pansy and it showed.

"Yeah? Is it about why you've been sneaking around and avoiding me?" Harry tried his best to sound nonchalant, and luckily Ron didn't seem to feel attacked by him, if anything his excitement to reveal the truth was building.

"It hasn't been on purpose mate…I just needed to wait until the right time to tell you." Ron paused as a grin spread across his lips and Harry looked at him in silence, awaiting an answer.

"So? What's the big secret?"

"I'm in love with Pansy Parkinson!" Ron exclaimed with a broad grin as he held open his arms, gauging Harry's reaction. Harry's brows furrowed for a moment in thought, it wasn't as if he hadn't gone through this scenario in his head, after all he had seen Ron and Pansy on the Marauders Map countless times. And Malfoy and Hermione too for that matter. But that was something he tried even harder not to think about.

"You're aware that this makes absolutely no sense to me whatsoever right?"

"I figured it wouldn't but she's not like you think she is Harry!" At Ron's words, Harry crossed his arms and looked at his friend somewhat skeptically, "We started talking a few days after Hermione dumped me and then she shagged me in a broom closet….and then…"

"Wait….she shagged you in a broom closet? Blimey Ron how did you keep that one from me?" Ron's face turned scarlet at the statement and Harry couldn't help but smile slightly. Maybe this was more than he thought. After a slight pause, Ron began to talk quickly again.

"It started off us just trying to take our minds off Malfoy and Hermione…but then we started to meet more and more. We didn't always shag or anything either….we talked too. She's just so…different than anyone I've ever fell for you know? She's bloody smart too…cunning that is. She's not just some heartless Slytherin prat…it's more than that." Ron looked at Harry and finally he could see that what Ron said was complete truth. He really did care about this girl.

"Well she must be something if you've been skipping out on food for her."

"Oh I've been getting stuff from the kitchens, and sometimes she brings me things too. I'm not that mental…" Ron grinned and Harry returned it.

"I'm glad you're happy…" Harry nodded but his smile slowly vanished. He knew what had to come next. Only one part of this wound was healed, there was another to deal with, "I think it's time we went and talked to Hermione."

"You reckon she still thinks I hate her? She's been avoiding me like I have Dragon Pox…"

"I think she's ready for us all to be friends again. We obviously can't get by without each other. She misses you though. And I think there's a lot more going on with her than she's been letting on. And it might have something to do with Malfoy." At the mention of the Slytherin's name, both boys exchanged silent words. Ron still hadn't forgotten the strange bond Draco and Hermione seemed to have during the beginning of the year. And Harry knew how close they really have been.

"Well no time like the present right?" And with these words, Ron and Harry left for the Head Boy and Girl's dormitory.

* * *

"Anytime you're ready." Hermione said assuredly as she sat on a couch in the Common Room, hands politely in her lap, and amber eyes carefully watching the boy in front of her as he paced back and forth.

"You might be waiting awhile then, Granger." Draco said back softly, glancing her way as he pushed his white-blonde hair from his eyes. This was becoming a problem. After this morning and his realization, he knew he couldn't keep lying to her. But the truth scared him even more. And she was trying to be patient, but even that was hard.

"You know, you're really just making this harder than it has to be. Whatever is going on surely can't be that bad…." At these words he glared slightly at her and she shot one right back, "I think you underestimate what I consider 'bad.'"

"This is not easy Granger." He spoke through gritted teeth yet still she didn't seem to understand. Smart as she was, she was still so blissfully ignorant.

"Try me?" At her words, Draco looked into her eyes and saw something there that drew him close. Hermione reached out and took his hand into hers. The gesture alone made time slow for him. Instead of pulling away and continuing to pace in front of her, he sat beside her.

"I…." Draco began to say but it was almost as if the words didn't want to come, "I….fuck….I can't." He closed his eyes, not wanting to see her disappointment. He hated not being able to do any of this right, for either side. He couldn't keep splitting himself into two Dracos. And Hermione could see this reflecting in his face, and even though she wanted desperately to know what was happening with him, she knew he was battling it too. And he just needed her there. So she lifted her hands to cup his cheeks and his eyes opened to wearily gaze at her.

"It's ok Draco…" Hermione's words were a whisper against her lips as she moved closer to him, slightly hesitant, but willing nonetheless. He wouldn't push her away, not when he wanted this too. It was her lips that found his first, careful and soft. His arms came around her and held her close, while her hands moved from his face to rest against his chest. This kiss was much too gentle for Draco's taste…he had tried for so long to be cautious and sweet with her in times like this, but he wanted so much more. He wanted to show her all the passion that was threatening to overtake him. Tentatively he deepened their kiss, his teeth grazing her bottom lip as a shudder ran through her. Hermione moved closer to him, wanting his touch, wanting to slip away, but there was still always a darkness lurking in the back of her mind. Her hands tightened on the material of his shirt as if trying to hold onto herself and this moment. Draco saw it as a passionate gesture, a want for more, and so he careful pressed into her, moving her back and easing her down onto the couch, his body now over hers.

Hermione's grip on his shirt tightened, one hand releasing to move around him, an almost forced attempt to keep her mind locked into now. Draco straddled one of her legs with his, one hand supporting himself, lips still working against hers. But he was lost in growing passion now, his own control falling away as his hand moved underneath her shirt and allowed his fingers to caress her warm skin. It was then Hermione Granger lost her resolve. Tears began to slip from the corners of her eyes. She knew Draco was there, she tried to remember that, but she felt Lucius Malfoy there too. His piercing eyes full of hate, his rough hands on her, his white blonde hair. And suddenly Draco turned into his father. It was no longer his hands exploring Hermione's skin in the most caring and natural way he could, but rather his father's intent on bruising. He could feel her stiffen under him and he pulled back suddenly, his grey eyes shooting open and yet Hermione only saw Lucius's eyes. She let out a small cry, frozen in place as she had been back in the bathroom. Draco moved off of her, not letting any part of him touch her. Worry etched across his face.

"Hermione….Hermione I'm so sorry…." He didn't know what to say to help her, he felt beyond guilty. And lately she had seemed so much stronger…Her eyes closed and she began to take deep, calming breaths, but she couldn't stop herself from shaking, "You're here, in the Common Room, with me. And you're safe. Open your eyes…come back to me." Draco's voice was soft, and Hermione could hear the emotion etched in his voice. She took a few more deep breaths before slowly opening her eyes to look into his. He wanted to comfort her somehow, apologize, but it was him who was frozen now.

"I'm sorry…." Her voice was a whisper as she looked up at him, blinking back tears. But his brows furrowed in confusion.

"Why are you apologizing? I made a mistake…I didn't mean for things to get so intense…"

"Just….give me a moment?" At her words, Draco nodded and moved to the other end of the couch as Hermione slowly sat up and refocused herself as best as she could. She knew she was safe, but she could feel the hold that night still had on her. She couldn't even kiss Draco…which was something she wanted despite how strange it still seemed. But she began to understand one of the reasons why it still haunted her….she never got her redemption. She hadn't faced Lucius afterwards. And she hadn't even told Draco. The secret was still heavy in her heart, and maybe after she let it go, she could fully begin to heal, "I feel better…" She offered him a slight smile and he didn't return it.

"That's bullocks," He moved slightly closer to look into her eyes, trying to decipher something deep within the depths, "Why can't you let him go? He can't hurt you anymore…I won't let him. And you shouldn't let him win."

"It's not that easy…" Hermione said without looking at him, he didn't know. And if he did…she wondered if any of this would change, maybe that was what scared her the most.

"Then make it easy. I swear to Merlin if you ever told me….If I ever found out who…." Draco's fists clenched at his sides and to his surprise, Hermione's warm hand covered one of his fists. He looked down at their hands for a moment before meeting her gaze.

"But have you ever thought about where we would be if this never happened? I would still be Head Girl, and you Head Boy…but you would still hate me for who and what I am, and I would despise you for your blind intolerance. We would still be enemies…." Tears formed in her eyes again but for different reasons now, and he shook his head.

"No…it might have happened anyway. Don't try to make this ok, it's not. You bloody well know it's not…"

"You never would have seen me for anything other than a Mudblood…but that night you saw me. You stopped looking through me. You saw me," Draco's other hand came up to cup Hermione's cheek at her words and their foreheads touched, eyes closing, "And if I had to go through that to finally see you too, then I would do it again in an instant." Tears now fell from her eyes and Draco was speechless at her words, at such a raw showing of what she felt. His thumb brushed her tears away.

"I would've done this all different….I would've found you so much sooner. I've saved you so many times in my head. But I was still always late…And I will never forgive myself." Draco whispered the words, scared of them himself, and Hermione pulled back to gaze into his eyes.

"Draco…" His name on her lips again, truth between them yet the biggest truths still hidden. And she touched her lips to his again. But he kept his distance and kissed her softly, innocently, like a new beginning for them both. Their kiss was interrupted by a loud knock on the door to the Common Room and Draco grudgingly pulled away from Hermione and opened the door where Harry and Ron stood waiting.

"Mind moving out of the way Malfoy? We're here to see our friend." It was Ron who spoke first, and as they were concentrating on Draco, Hermione wiped her eyes properly and walked over. She met Ron's gaze and knew he wasn't here in anger, but in forgiveness. Draco didn't respond but instead stood almost protectively in front of Hermione who he glanced back at and she placed a hand lightly on his upper arm.

"It's ok…I need to talk to them." At her words Draco nodded before shooting a sneer back at Harry and Ron.

"I'm going upstairs. Pull any shit and I'll make you regret coming here." Draco said the words harshly and neither Ron nor Harry quite knew how to respond. They didn't understand why he said what he did. His eyes met Hermione's for a long moment before walking back up to his room and shutting the door.

"What does he think we'll do? Make a mess of his chairs?" Ron said with a slightly confused look on his face as he glanced at his two friends.

"I think it's more than that Ron…And that's why we should clear the air." Harry was the one who spoke and instantly both Ron and Hermione turned red. She was worried that Harry knew much more than he was letting on.

"Ron, I'm sorry. I truly am. I didn't mean to hurt you but I just couldn't handle a relationship at the moment. But I don't think that it should change our friendship. We've been through so much after all…" Hermione spoke fast and they all shared a smile at her last statement, "You're my best friend."

"And you're mine Hermione…" He offered her a small smile until Harry elbowed him sharply in the ribs, "Merlin! Oh right…I was a git to you. I overreacted. Honestly I don't know how I've gotten this far this year without you. I'm sorry too."

"Well now that's out of the way, might as well get everything else out while we're here. You first Ron." Harry looked over to Ron who turned slightly scarlet before cautiously looking at Hermione.

"I…well I…" He began to stutter and Hermione crossed her arms.

"Oh just out with it Ron, I know what you're going to say."

"You do?" He looked at her with surprise and she merely sighed.

"You've been sneaking around school with Pansy Parkinson…I've known for weeks. But I'm glad you've finally told someone about it." Harry and Ron both exchanged looks at her words.

"You knew? But why didn't you say anything?" Harry asked and Hermione smiled sadly.

"It was Ron's business, not mine. We were all so caught up in other things…but I've realized that maybe all we really needed was each other this whole time. And I'm sorry I wasn't properly there."

"But you aren't mad?" Ron asked her hesitantly and she shook her head.

"At first I was only sad…I still cared for you. But I knew you needed to move on. And if she was going to help you, and not hurt you, I wanted you to have that," Hermione smiled at him and he returned it, "It's moved beyond broomclosets hasn't it?"

"I love her…" Ron said softly, not wanting to meet Hermione's eyes, "I know it doesn't make sense. But it's complicated. And she feels the same." He didn't have to explain to her, she knew perfectly well where he was coming from. But love? Now that was something she hadn't considered. Was what she felt for Draco some form of twisted, tortured love?

"I understand Ron, I really do…"

"I figured you might say that. I bet you understand it plenty…anything you want to tell us Hermione?" As Harry spoke. she found everywhere else to look but his eyes. He knew something alright.

"Not that I know of…" She said quickly but Ron shook his head.

"You mean to tell us that there's nothing going on between you and Malfoy? That Harry hasn't been seeing you two together on the map all the time? We're not complete oafs you know."

"Well you shouldn't be spying on me Harry…" Hermione shot back but Harry interrupted before she could say anymore.

"Spying? No. Watching out for you when you refused to talk to me? Yes. We just want to know you're safe and ok. Just give us the word and we'll pummel that ferret like he deserves. He hasn't hurt you has he?"

"Merlin, no!" Hermione exclaimed quickly, not wanting to start something out of nothing as they always did when it came to Draco, "The truth….well I don't think I can tell you the whole truth, not just yet. But I will say this. Something happened to me the night of the Battle. Draco found me and helped me. If he wasn't here this year…I…I don't think I would have made it. I know this hardly makes any sense…but I need him around. And he needs me. I care about him." She exhaled deeply at the end of her statement, feeling somewhat lighter but knowing she was hardly off the hook.

"Do you love him?" It was Ron who spoke, his voice low and his eyes dark. There was still a bitterness there, she saw it.

"I…I don't think I do. I don't know. There isn't exactly a name for what he and I have. But he's changed, and you both need to know that. Hopefully one day you'll be able to see it too." She wasn't sure how to tell them about what happened to her, or the true extent of her and Draco's relationship, but she did what she could.

"Are you happy?" Ron looked back at her and their eyes met. Hermione thought for a moment and then a small smile graced her lips.

"I am. Happier then I was. I feel more like myself every day." At this. Harry smiled and Ron grinned at her. It wasn't perfect, but it was something. It was telling of their friendship.

"Maybe we weren't meant for each other after all." Ron said this was a smile and with that, air finally cleared, the three friends all sat down and began to update each other on what had been going on the last few weeks.

* * *

_Draco_…._My son_….Draco's eyes shot open as he heard the words of his father echoing through his head, calling him into reality. He had gone upstairs and closed his eyes, wanting to find some sort of peace before talking with Hermione again. She needed time with her friends and he needed time to think. After their conversation he knew he had revealed the truth to her and himself. He had to tell her everything, he had to fight. But now here was his father again, calling him into action. Draco shut his eyes once more but the voice only gained force. _Draco….come to the Manor. Come now_…Despite everything, he knew he had to go. He couldn't hide from his father, he never had. Because he knew of the consequences if he did. Instead of ignoring his father's voice, which he knew would be impossible, he got up, grabbed his wand, and headed down to the Common Room.

Hermione, Harry, and Ron were nowhere to be found. He found a note sitting on a table, it read: _The boys and I went to grab an early dinner. You were asleep when I checked on you so I didn't want to bother you. I'll bring you something back. –Hermione_. His was grateful she was with them, not only because she would be getting a proper meal, but also because he had a chance to sneak off without question. With dark thoughts in his head, his face stoic, he left the castle and headed towards Hogsmeade to Apparate to the Malfoy Manor. And he knew he could never be ready for whatever would greet him there.

As Draco passed through the protective wards set around his house and then stepped into the foyer, he felt a chill sweep through him. He could have stayed at school with Hermione. But instead he chose to step back into his own hell. In silence he walked into the dining room where the remaining Death Eaters sat, his father sitting at the head of the table where Voldemort once occupied, "Draco, you have arrived," Lucius motioned towards the empty seat at this side and Draco took it, all eyes on him, "We were discussing the final preparations for our attack on Harry Potter."

"When will you need my assistance?" It was now Draco had to slip away from himself, become someone, something, darker. He met his father's gaze with stone in his eyes.

"In three days' time we plan to enter by cover of darkness into the Forbidden Forest. You will wait for my signal and then you will lure Potter and his friends out to us by taking the Mudblood. He has proven to be impulsive on many other occasions, he will come. But you must alert him as to where the Mudblood has been taken. Either allow him to follow you or have Zabini or Goyle allude to it." Lucius spoke nonchalantly, yet Draco had his fists clenched under the table. Did his father really expect him to deliver Hermione to him?

"Of course Father. But using the Mudblood may cause complications. She's the only really intelligent one out of all of them, they may need her in order to be led there properly. The Weasley girl is romantically involved with Potter, taking her may be better incentive." Draco said this all with perfect calm, praying his father would agree. With a few glances at the other Death Eaters, Lucius finally spoke.

"Very well, the Weasley girl it is. Begin preparations Draco, your time for redemption has come," At these words, a few Death Eaters mumbled something under their breath and Lucius shot them a dangerous look, "My son knows the importance of this mission and he will not make another error. If anyone has anything to say otherwise, please speak," He had grabbed Draco's shoulder, which appeared as a gesture of confidence, but in reality he was digging his fingers forcefully into his flesh. Still, Draco refused to show it. When no one said anything, Lucius released his son's shoulder, "Good. Meeting adjourned. The House Elves will begin serving dinner shortly," After these words, Lucius leaned closer to Draco, "I'd like to speak with you in my study." Draco merely nodded and stood up with his father, following him out of the room and upstairs into his private study.

"You wished to speak to me alone father?" Draco asked, trying to sound as clueless as possible, but he had a good idea what this would be about, and he couldn't deny the slight fear building up in his chest.

"Close the door," Lucius Malfoy said in a low voice, his back to his son. Draco shut the door behind him and stood still, awaiting his fate, "Take off your shirt," Draco didn't have to be told twice, and he fought to keep his hands from trembling as he undid the buttons of his shirt. He knew how this would end. He dropped his shirt to the floor and stood bare chested, the burnt, marred Dark Mark exposed on his arm. Lucius turned and his eyes went straight to the Mark, "Do you have an explanation for this?" His voice was edged with venom, and Draco had to look away.

"No Father…."  
"Did you do this to yourself?" Lucius took a few steps closer and Draco kept his eyes to the ground. But at this question he wanted to meet his father's gaze. He didn't want this. He didn't ever truly want this supposed 'glory.' And he knew that now…he had only ever been tricked, brainwashed into thinking this was right. That this was anything close to love.

"Yes." Draco's voice became somewhat surer and just as he said the words, Lucius's hand came up to slap him hard across the face. He stumbled slightly but once more stood upright. He wouldn't go down easily, not this time. Lucius grabbed Draco's forearm and dug his thumb into the injured Mark, and still Draco did not wince even though the pain was enough to make him scream.

"Turn around," The older Malfoy hissed and Draco turned, putting his hands against the door, waiting. This wouldn't be the first time this had happened. Lucius raised his wand and moved it through the air towards Draco's bare back and, like a knife, a slash cut itself across the pale flesh of his back. Draco gritted his teeth as his eyes began to water from the pain. He could feel his warm blood begin to drip from the wound. Lucius repeated his action, once more, twice, three times, pain shooting through Draco's body as his nails dug into the wood of the door he gripped, blood trickling down his back and onto the floor in small drops. It was times like this he truly missed his mother. She would have stopped him. She would have mended his wounds and told him how much his father really loved him. But she was gone. And that was a lie. It all seemed so blatantly obvious now, "Be ready in three days," Lucius spoke after the fifth slash of his wand, and Draco shakily moved back from the door and grabbed his shirt, unwilling to look into his father's eyes, "You will not disappoint me again Draco." And with these final words, Draco gingerly put his shirt back on, made his way swiftly out of his house, and Apparated back to Hogwarts.

* * *

After dinner, Hermione had said her goodbyes to Harry and Ron. She wanted to spend time alone with Draco, a thought that made a blush come to her cheeks, and she was sure that Ron wanted to see Pansy as well, especially now he had told his friends. As she entered the Common Room, she barely had time to register what was happening as Draco's arms came tightly around her, "I'm sorry if this is too much….but I need you right now. I need to tell you everything." She was surprised for a moment, but then wrapped her arms around him. He let out a wince and squeezed her tighter, he hadn't healed his wounds, merely cleaned them up.

"What happened Draco? Are you ok?" Her voice was soft and she tried to pull back to look into his eyes but he buried his head into her shoulder, pressing his lips to the warm skin of her neck. He really did need her….more than he could ever have realized. And he wouldn't keep hiding this from her. He needed to tell her everything. He pulled back then and began to unbutton his shirt, her eyes widening, "Draco…I don't think…" But before she could get scared, or think he wanted something from her, he turned around and showed her the gashes on his back. Immediately her hand flew to her mouth in shock, "Who did this!" She demanded as tears formed in her eyes for him, she knew there was so much more he wasn't telling her.

"When you were at dinner I went to the Malfoy Manor. My father saw what I did to my Dark Mark. This was my punishment." He tried to keep on his mask, but his eyes betrayed him, especially because of the caring look on Hermione's innocent face.

"No….No he's in Azkaban….He went there after the war…." She shook her head, not wanting to believe what he was saying as a tear ran down her cheek.

"He was in Azkaban…but I broke him out last weekend…" It was now Draco who couldn't look at her, he felt too ashamed. This was all so hard to admit. Hermione felt her chest tighten. The man who had ruined her life, tore away her innocence, he was free again. She couldn't speak, and so Draco stepped back towards her, "I didn't want to come back here Hermione….not after I buried my mother. No one came…everyone else was dead or didn't care. But I did come back. Maybe I had to make sure you were ok," He smiled sadly at her, but the tears kept falling down her cheeks, "I started hearing someone calling me. I thought it was the Dark Lord…so I burnt the Mark to try and silence him. But it didn't stop. Then in my dreams I visited my father in Azkaban. He told me all of these plans…how I would break him out. How I could regain my honor and save the family name. How he would be proud…so fucking proud of me," Draco was beginning to lose his reserve, angry tears threatening his eyes, "I knew he wouldn't get out of my head until I did it. And yet at night I still held you in my arms didn't I? We went through so much these last few months and I still did it….I broke him out. He called together the rest of the Death Eaters…they're at the Manor now. They…they're going to come here. They want to kill Potter to avenge the Dark Lord. They want to lure him, you, Weasley, and all your friends into the Forbidden Forest. I'm supposed to take Ginny as bait. And my father….he sensed me thinking about you….I'm…I'm supposed to kill you…." Draco choked out the words and Hermione was trying to keep herself together.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner? I could've helped….I could've done something." At these words Draco moved closer and cupped both her cheeks with his hands.

"No…don't you dare say you could've stopped me. Don't blame yourself! I did this because I'm too fucking weak…too caught up in trying to win over my father to see anything else. Even a beautiful thing standing in front of me. But you have to know how hard this was…A year ago I would have done this blindly. I would've have second guessed a thing. But ever since that night in the bathroom…I saw what my side was doing, it was even more real to me then. Something changed. This was the hardest decision I ever had to make…not because of right and wrong, but because of you." Hermione's tears ceased at his words, her hand coming up to touch his cheek.

"You have changed Draco…I can see it. You are such a better man now." At this, he moved away from her, turning his back.

"Better? A better man never would have done it. A better man would have ignored it all. I'm still no better than my father. I still have his blood flowing through me. I'm weak…and now I'm trapped."

"You are nothing like your father…" Hermione's voice was dark, the truth heavy once more in her heart. Draco turned to look at her, sadness and anger in his eyes at everything.

"How? How am I any different than him? I'm going to help him kill you Hermione!" Draco shouted the words but she remained calm, her eyes meeting his with bravery within them.

"He already killed me once, I won't let him do it again."

"What do you mean…" Draco's voice lowered at her statement, something in her voice terrified him. He began to understand what she may mean, but no, he couldn't believe that. Yet she wanted him to know the truth now. She wanted him to know everything.

"He…he was the one that night in the bathroom…:" Her voice was barely a whisper on her lips as her eyes hesitantly met his. Draco shook his head, tears once more filling his eyes. He couldn't believe it, he couldn't. Tears began to fall from her eyes as she moved closer to him, trying to pull him into her arms but he began to shut down, pushing her away, "Draco…" She whispered his name but as she did he took off out of the Common Room, thinking of the truth of it all. There were no more secrets now, no lies. The truth came screaming out, and it would either damn, or save them all.

**AN: Let me know if you liked it! More soon, I promise.**


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